Author Archives: Sarah Boucher

About Sarah Boucher

Hi! I started this blog and fb page, by the same name, to encourage women to grow into their powerful selves. I used to be extremely insecure and overwhelmed by life. Since the inception of my fb page one year ago, I have learned more about the power that has always existed in each of us, the power of unconditional love, and the joy of living grounded in my well being. I am currently in training with Bill Cumming from The Boothby Institute and LOVING life with my supportive husband and five, funny, redheaded children!

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

I’ve felt blocked for months.  I’m going to share and see what happens.  That was my original intent anyway on this journey to personal power.  There are times when I feel like I’m supposed to have answers for my life that I don’t have and so I get quiet.  

Good, bad, ugly…I’m going to say where I am and how it’s affecting me.  You’ll either judge me and go away, or you’ll relate, or you’ll have something encouraging to share.  

Fear

The other day I saw an online article meant to induce panic.  It gave the scenario of a woman becoming friends with a man she didn’t know on Facebook, thinking that she’d probably met him somewhere and forgotten.  He seemed nice so she accepted his friend request.  Later on when she shared a post of her child, he took that picture and offered it to his sex trafficking customers.

HOLD THE PHONE!  

Needless to say I analyzed what I make public on my page and if I wanted to shut it down on the spot because it’s definitely not worth having one of my babies abducted over.

After calming down a little and further consideration, I thought about all of the millions of people using social media, including authors, bloggers, and YouTubers whose kids go un-abducted every day.  With my overprotective nature, my kids will continue to be as safe as they’ve always been and I can keep sharing through this creatively satisfying process of blogging and Facebook posting.

Don’t let FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) keep YOU from enjoying what makes you happy. We can live in constant fear if we choose to, but fear and worry truly are misuses of our imaginations.  Let’s use our minds to create a beautiful present moment, instead of worrying it away.

We’re all interconnected.

It seems like every time I’ve thought about shutting down my page, in moments of self doubt, fear, or guilt (feeling like I’ve taken way too much time from my family for this time consuming, zero income producing hobby)…anyway times like these are when POWERFUL women seem to step out of the shadows and send a message letting me know that they appreciate the page.  That happened this morning and it’s always the boost I need to keep on keeping on.  THANK YOU to those of you who have sent messages or made encouraging comments!  I appreciate it more than you know!

My Life

It’s a mess, both literally and figuratively this week.  I am surrounded by boxes.  Four months ago we moved out of my brother in law’s house but didn’t move all of our stuff with us.  He recently got married to a wonderful woman and moved out too.  They’re selling his house and so we HAD to move the rest of our crap.  Jason wanted to throw it all away but I objected, so now I have to deal with it all.  I’m dealing with it by writing this post.  That works, right?

Our personal mess is upstairs and one third of Jason’s business is downstairs as he transitions from one building to another.  We’re up to our eyeballs in stuff.  I said I was sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly.  The following picture is of Jason’s goods, but they don’t look so good piled up in our downstairs living room. Parts of our house look like an episode of Hoarders.

Possum Junk

Donald Trump

Don’t even get me started.

Marriage

Jason and Sarah Carousel

I said I was sharing good, bad, and ugly so…

My marriage has suffered the last few months and a lot of the problem has been my thinking about our marriage.  I’ve stirred pots and picked emotional scabs and…I started going to counseling a few weeks ago to break the cycle of my stinking thinking.

I’m a big fan of counseling.  We went to family counseling over the summer a few times and I was geeking out.  I LOVED IT and wondered why we hadn’t always been doing it.  I think my enjoyment of family counseling had something to do with my enjoyment of my family.  We’re all a bunch of goofballs and that means a lot of laughter, even in counseling.  These family sessions were being filmed because the two counselors were still under supervision..  One day on the way home, my 15 year old admitted to giving the camera random glances like Jim in The Office.

jim-halpert

NBC The Office

 

That’s comedy my friends.  I wonder what the “counselors in training” and their supervisor thought when they watched the video.

Back to marriage.  Marriage is T-O-U-G-H but our lifelong friendship, love for our family, and mutual disgust with Donald Trump make the load lighter and the days brighter.

Work

I’m still making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a factory.  With Jason’s work picking up for the Spring and Summer, I’m able to go down to two days a week!  Yay!!!  That starts this week!  I’m looking forward to helping him out, being home more, and having more energy to put toward creative projects and having the What One Person Can Do conversation with POWERFUL women.  I actually have time to do that again!

The Future and Work

It’s up in the air.  I’m still thinking about going back to school.  I especially think about going back to school on Peanut Butter Jelly days.  It’s just a matter of fitting all the pieces together.

Kids

Saturday we took a road trip.  This is a normal event for us but it was not a normal day.  In the history of road trips, this one’s going down in the books as one of the worst.  Our girls were DIFFICULT.  By the end of the trip, Jason and I decided we’d just go alone next time.

We set out to go to an exotic animal auction to see zebras and camels.  We were about an hour late.  SHOCKER!  We paid $5 a head just to get in.  We missed the exotic animals, but a couple there had a little capuchin with them.  We did see a zdonk in with some plain old boring donkeys. We learned that one zebra sold for $10,000 and one of the camels sold for $20,000!!!

We watched a couple of miniature horses sell and walked around and looked at the normal animals.  I don’t know llamas from alpacas, but I’m pretty sure it wanted to eat me.

Exotic Animal Auction

I LOVE going places I’ve never been before and I LOVE taking the road less traveled.  We saw some of the most beautiful scenery…giant hills and deep valleys and cows grazing on steep hillsides.  As we were driving up and around one hill, there was a turn off onto another road.  We could see that second road down below us, making a wider curve around the hill.  It was such an interesting view of both roads.  I wish I’d taken a picture.

Road Trip

As much yelling and fighting as our girls did, there was the usual laughter and fun too.  Even though we came away from the road trip worn out and a bit frustrated, the experience wasn’t a total wash.

Road Trip 2

Why yes.  That is a two headed doll that we lovingly refer to as Two Baby.  Nora picked Two Baby out when she was four.  He/she resurfaced during all of this moving of STUFF. The whole family is sentimental about Two Baby. #BoucherStyle

The girls’ rough housing earlier in the day was bad enough that Amelia’s new earring came out. When we got back into town, my boys accompanied the two of us to the mall to get her ear re-pierced.  We ended up eating dinner at a sushi train.

Sushi Train

That was a fun meal, even though Amelia dropped a WHOLE PIECE of sushi onto the floor!

My boys LOVE sushi!  They DON’T love hanging out with their little sisters.  Every day with 3 little sisters is like living our road trip over and over and over again, so this dinner was especially nice. Chuck played Paper Rock Scissors with Amelia and attempted to teach her how to use chop sticks. Sam took over while Chuck and I finished eating.  They watched Youtube videos of animals to pass the time.  I’m a REALLY slow eater and Chuck was going to get as much sushi out of the deal as he could.

The night ended with the purchase of a new laptop.  I’ve been using the slowest computer known to POWERFUL woman kind.  This new one is so speedy!  Is it bad that I told Cortana to refer to me as YOUR HIGHNESS?  Maggie helped me come up with that 🙂

And now after months of silence…you’re all caught up.

Thanks for reading this lengthy post.  As I’m finishing it up, it seems fitting to end with the little things quote.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

-Robert Brault

Wishing you a heart full of love for yourself (in addition to all of the other people you love) peace, and joy in the little things in your own life!

Love,

Sarah


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Daily Self Care

I was told about the benefits of daily Self Care 5 years ago.  While I have tasted the sweet fruit of getting my day started off on the right foot with Self Care many times, I have yet to make it a discipline.  What the crap?!

5 years is a long time to know that doing this leaves me feeling happier and peaceful (even when life isn’t playing fair) and still not do every day.  I guess it’s no different than anything else we know is good for us that we choose not to do, like eating healthy, exercising, budgeting, and so on.  What I’m told will happen and I hope to prove to myself, is that by making Self Care a discipline, not only will I have better days more often, BUT I will be able to be more disciplined in other areas of my life by learning to be disciplined in this one.

Here are the 4 thoughts I was taught to spend time thinking about each morning.

1. We live in a miracle.

2. Everything is interconnected.

3. The ONLY thing I can control is HOW I CHOOSE TO BE in the world today.

4. Be gracious with myself.

Four thoughts.  That’s it!  That’s REALLY easy, easier than eating healthy and definitely easier than exercising.

The other day I was at work, feeling a little low and I decided to turn to Self Care to lift me out of my funk.  I started with the first thought WE LIVE IN A MIRACLE, which for me has turned into THIS DAY IS A GIFT.  I tried to get in touch with that grateful/excited to be alive feeling but it just wasn’t happening.  I didn’t feel like the day was a gift at all.  I felt sorry for myself.  Here I am standing in one spot for 12 hours, doing a really boring job, and missing my family.  The whole day is over by the time I get home.  Some gift.

I stayed in pursuit of the feeling.  I kept exploring different thoughts and then I hit one.

I thought about Joey Feek, the world’s most famous dying person.  She’s truly a beautiful soul.  I’m sure she’d like more time with her family and wouldn’t mind working in a factory to get it.  She’s not the only one. There are women all over the world and whether they are dying or in poor health, they would do ANYTHING to be able to come home and hug and kiss their families at the end of a long day.

That did it.  The “feeling” was there!  The THIS LIFE IS A LIMITED TIME OFFER/THIS DAY IS A SPECIAL ONE thought was locked in.  I was grateful for my health, for a pleasant work environment and great co-workers.  I felt grateful for the opportunity to keep creating my life, to exploring possibilities because I’M NOT STUCK. I have choices.  WE ALL DO!  Even if we get to a place in our lives where, like Joey, our choices are less and less, we still have one choice left, perhaps the most important choice of all.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—

to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

-Viktor E. Frankl

Writing this post has me raring to go.  If taking a few minutes each morning to do Self Care can help me live each day more POWERFULLY, if it can help me be more present with my family, if it can help me face hard times with more peace, what the heck have I been waiting for?

I’ve been thinking about this for a week already, but it’s time to quit thinking and start doing. Tomorrow morning, I’m waking up 30 minutes early to do Self Care instead of getting thrown into the day.

Here’s one of the first posts I wrote about Self Care way back when, if you want to see more about how I do it.

Do you have a morning routine?  I’d love to hear about it and be encouraged by your discipline as I start my own.  Leave your thoughts here or on Facebook 🙂

I Am A Powerful Woman shirt

 

 

 

 

 

 

If YOU are ready to experience more peace and less struggle, I’d LOVE to personally go through the What One Person Can Do program with YOU.
This conversation has been conducted in schools, corporations, prisons, and one on one with the program’s founder, Bill Cumming, and other program conveners for 30 years.  Space is EXTREMELY limited for anyone wishing to go through this with me.  I only have room to work with 10 women, so click HERE to contact me (or Bill) with questions and to grab your spot.
There’s also an online version of the program available HERE.  It’s an incredibly affordable option. 12 weeks of support for what 1 hour of counseling would cost!  But…and I know this firsthand, even reasonably priced is not an option sometimes, so don’t write this off. Partial and full scholarships are available for those that need them and are serious about going through the work for both the online and one on one programs.

 

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Happy Belated New Year!

Elizabeth Gilbert wrote a good New Year’s Eve post. Naturally it was about coming to the end of the year and preparing for the new one. She talked about writing things down that you want to put behind you and creating a ritual of burning, burying, or immersing the paper. Ain’t nobody with 5 kids got time to burn pain (or to write a New Year‘s post within the first week of the year for that matter. That’s not entirely true, but it’s my excuse for now, so indulge me.)

She talked about loving the feeling she gets on New Year‘s Eve,

“that the universe has been generous to me, to have let me stick around for another year, and to now erase the slate and give me another chance.

Tomorrow I will be gifted with a brand new year – with no mistakes in it yet, and no heartbreaks yet, and no failures yet. I get to try again. Amazing.

You will be gifted with this huge blessing too. A clean and empty book awaits us all. Maybe we will be able to write things differently this time. Maybe a bit better. Maybe we will be wiser this time. At least we get to try.

We have all been given a fresh chance.

Let’s close the old book, and open a new one.”

As I read her words I got a thrilling feeling thinking about approaching EACH NEW DAY this way (without the burning, burying, or water mess, but if you have time for that, go for it.) But seriously, EACH DAY is an occasion, a celebration, a fresh start, a new chance, a clean slate, a new book. “Maybe we will be able to write things differently this time. Maybe a bit better. Maybe we will be wiser this time. At least we get to try.”

Taking time to reflect on the day we’ve lived, what went right, what we’d like to do better tomorrow, how we want to be, that is Self Care. It’s living intentionally and it makes for a beautiful life experience, one that YOU are present for and fully engaged in. I want to challenge myself to live this way, one day at a time.

I read Liz’s thoughts and had thoughts to add to her good thoughts, so I’m assuming YOU might have some thoughts to add too.  Please do!  Leave them in the comment section here or over on Facebook.

Happy belated NEW YEAR and a very HAPPY TOMORROW!

Love,
Sarah

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If YOU are ready to experience more peace and less struggle, I’d LOVE to personally go through the What One Person Can Do program with YOU.
This conversation has been conducted in schools, corporations, prisons, and one on one with the program’s founder, Bill Cumming, and other program conveners for 30 years.  Space is EXTREMELY limited for anyone wishing to go through this with me.  I only have room to work with 10 women, so click HERE to contact me (or Bill) with questions and to grab your spot.
There’s also an online version of the program available HERE.  It’s an incredibly affordable option. 12 weeks of support for what 1 hour of counseling would cost!  But…and I know this firsthand, even reasonably priced is not an option sometimes, so don’t write this off. Partial and full scholarships are available for those that need them and are serious about going through the work for both the online and one on one programs.
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No He Didn’t – He’s Out Of Control

Have you ever been somewhere with a friend and they do something that might be considered socially unacceptable?  Perhaps they burst into song or talked too loudly.  Maybe they acted ugly about the service they received at a restaurant and you wanted to crawl under the table and die.

Those particular situations don’t happen in my family very often but this sort of behavior does ALL THE TIME.

Jason and I took Nora to the doctor on Friday and had to wait a little too long.  Jason got bored and decided to put his “medical knowledge” to use.

Dr Appt 1

Needless to say, I was HORRIFIED as he picked up each instrument and proceeded with his “examination.”

Dr Appt 2

He noticed irritation and drainage.

Dr Appt 3

Any minute the door was bound to open.  My heart was racing as I documented the fun.  I was amused and fearful.

Dr Appt 4

Good doctors ALWAYS wash their hands after an exam is over.  After a thorough washing, Jason proceeded to explore the cabinets.  He’s always opened the drawers at doctor’s visits but never actually played with what he found like he did this time.

Dr Appt 5

Thankfully he only picked the blood pressure cuff up and put it right back.

Dr Appt 6

I had a choice to freak out and be mad about what was happening around me or accept it for what it was and let him be responsible for his actions.  I could’ve huffed and puffed and been angry, but that would’ve only stressed me out.  This is one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned from the What One Person Can Do program that has saved me a great deal of stress over the years.  The ONLY thing I can control is HOW I CHOOSE TO BE in the world.  I can’t control my nutty husband.  All I can control is my reaction.

Dr Appt 7

I wouldn’t go back and undo one moment of this experience.  Nora enjoyed the whole thing thoroughly.

Dr Appt 8

We could hear the doctor and a difficult patient in the room next to us, so Jason was telling Nora that they’d be able to hear us too and to keep quiet.

Dr Appt 9

A bio-hazard bag may or may not have made its way into Jason’s right pocket.  I’m not advocating any of this.  I’m just reporting the facts.

Dr Appt 10

As the fun was drawing to a close, Nora said, “It’s time to Buddy The Elf this cotton ball.”

Dr Appt 11

 

What a fun girl!  I’m extremely thankful the doctor didn’t walk in on any of this because after dealing with the cranky guy in the next room, she was NOT in a good mood when she walked into ours.

In all situations we have a choice.  Have you ever noticed the moment that you chose to react in a certain way to people or circumstances that happen to you?

I’m really mindful of my choices now.  I remember choosing to get out my phone and start snapping the insanity instead of freaking out about it.

I am mindful EACH time I decide to react angrily towards whichever child is disobeying my instruction to do A, B, or C.  I choose calm or anger.  I have the thought to say angry words and whether I’ll say them or not.  Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t.  My kids don’t “make” me do it.  Their behavior doesn’t make me yell.  I choose it.

My husband wouldn’t have made me react angrily to his actions.  I would have chosen to.  I’m so glad I chose to be laid back this particular day and just enjoy the chaos that is my family.

Giving up the idea that I can control other people and recognizing my choices more often are 2 of the many practical and powerful tools found in What One Person Can Do.  If YOU are ready to experience more peace and less struggle, I’d LOVE to personally go through this program with YOU.

This program/conversation has been conducted in schools, corporations, prisons, and one on one with the program’s founder, Bill Cumming, and other program conveners for 30 years.  Space is EXTREMELY limited for anyone wishing to go through this with me.  I only have room to work with 10 women, so click HERE to contact me (or Bill) with questions and to grab your spot.

There’s also an online version of the program available HERE.  It’s an incredibly affordable option.  12 weeks of support for what 1 hour of counseling would cost!  But…and I know this firsthand, even reasonably priced is not an option sometimes, so don’t write this off. Partial and full scholarships are available for those that need them and are serious about going through the work for both the online and one on one programs.

Wishing you all the peace and happiness your heart can hold,

Sarah

duck face

 

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Running Out Of Time

Saturday I wrote my most well received blog post to date.  (You can read that HERE.)  It’s been really exciting!  Usually when I share a post it gets 2-5 likes.  That’s right TWO – FIVE.  This one got over 60! and several people took time to tell me they enjoyed it or that it touched them.

It was awesome to get all of that LIKE love but I couldn’t figure out what I’d done to make this one appealing.

We were all in the living room later that night and Jason said, “Do you know what happiness is?”

I quickly replied, “2,000 views on your blog post!”

He was actually referring to family time, but whatever 🙂

When thinking about why this post was embraced and the others go mostly unread, I decided it was because the picture and title I chose made it look like Jason and I might be Moving On from each other.  And so I’ve decided that all future blog posts will be teasers of some sort.

Thanks to all of you that read, liked, commented and shared that post.  That really was a treat!

I feel like there’s a lot of pressure in writing subsequent posts now.  I sat down for an hour or two last night and tried to write something worth reading.  I got nothing.  

I sat down again this morning about 9:30 and threw out some thoughts that will EVENTUALLY be posts but it’s just not happening yet.  

It’s 11:30 a.m. and I’m starting to freak out a little.  I was supposed to go to work this morning but I called out in order to have more time to get our stuff ready to move.  Instead of organizing, I’m obviously writing.

Thankfully Jason is out “adulting” so I can finish this post, get dressed, and appear to have been working hard by the time he gets home.  Unless one of you talks, he’ll never know.  

It’s no secret that I’m unorganized.  I’m literally running out of time today.  It’s decision time.  Will I sit and continue to let time slip by or will I wrap these thoughts up and move on to the next task?  

I’ve made a decision.  Here are my TIME TO WRAP IT UP thoughts.

  • No guilt.  It’s 100% okay to do something enjoyable, whether or not it makes a larger contribution in some way or produces an income.  If it contributes to your personal happiness, that is MUY IMPORTANTE!  Nurture yourself.  Buy and read that book.  Watch that movie.  Go out with that group of friends once a month.  Take that class.  Take time to write.  Be good to yourself.  It’s been said many times by many people that taking care of yourself allows you to be there MORE for others.  I can vouch for that.
  • You matter too.  YOU wouldn’t deny ANYONE ELSE the right to take time for themselves; time to relax, to create, to soak in life.  YOUR need for that time is ABSOLUTELY as important as theirs.
  • Think about the BIG PICTURE for the day and find a balance. – What is the feeling you want to have at the end of the day?  How do you want to use your time?  Make a plan and go for it!  Don’t forget to do nice things for yourself too.  

If I think about my day at this point (I’m embarrassed to say what time it is now) and what I’d like to accomplish, then I know what I need to do to make it happen.  I can take an honest look at what’s most important to me for the day, when I think about the feeling I want to have when I go to sleep tonight.  It might mean I don’t finish this post right now.  I know making progress on the house would FEEL GREAT.  I know that if I don’t haul butt upstairs and organize, then while I’m at work tomorrow and Jason moves stuff over to the new house, he gets to decide what gets moved and what gets tossed.

Uhm…yeah…gotta go!

I really enjoyed reading your responses to the last post so let’s do that again 🙂

What is it you love to do or would love to do more of?  Are you good about making time to do it?  Leave your answer here or over on Facebook.

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Moving On

A year ago our family of 7 moved out of our 3 bedroom, 1 bath, 1,000 square foot home into my brother in law’s spacious old farm house on 5 acres. We’ve been renting the upstairs of the house while we attempted to save a chunk of cash.

It’s been a good year. There was lots of brother bonding time, lots of mini farm life fun with goats, chickens, turkeys, puppies, and a duck, and lots of zombie watching.

amelia and goatsThe year wasn’t all fun and zombies though. We had our share of drama. It’s hard sharing living space with another family. My brother in law was very brave to take on the chaos that is our family.

This past week Jason and I drove by a cute little house with a for rent sign in the window. There is a ridiculous shortage of decent rental property in our tiny town so we called right on the spot, met the homeowner within an hour, put down a deposit, and signed a lease the following day.

We are so excited about the new house! We’re excited about moving on.

Moving on can be sad or scary when it’s a move you didn’t choose for yourself, like losing your job, divorce, illness, or the death of a loved one. It can be really hard to do but it’s still necessary. We can choose to stay in the pain but that won’t be good for us and it won’t be good for anyone around us. So here are 3 of my personal goals for moving on.

1. BE PRESENT
Have fun.
Embrace the challenge.

I’m going to accept this sudden move in all it’s chaotic disorder. I’m going to relax. I’m going to do what I can each day to help it go smoothly, but I’m also going to take time to do things that bring me joy, like write this blog post, the 3rd one in 1 week!  And…make sure we have some Fall Break Fun with our kids.

2. BE THANKFUL

This past week a woman who lives in a house like this

big house

told me and my husband that she was embarrassed to tell her clients where she lives because they live in houses like this.

bigger house

Her housing dilemma helped me realize that the poorest of us spoiled Americans, myself included, can benefit from reality checks every so often so we can remember to be thankful for all we DO have. I’m choosing to be thankful for our little rental house with heat in the winter, cold in the summer, and clean drinking water. For the first time in 15 years, we’re going to have 2 toilets!!! The second potty doesn’t even come with a sink, but who cares?  I’ll be happy anywhere as long as I get to live with these goofballs.

boucher fam 2015

3. GET RID OF THE JUNK
This is an opportunity to get rid of our junk. Even though we got rid of bags and bags of toys, clothes, and kitchen gadgets we never used in our old house, we never fully unpacked here and then we collected even more stuff. We have an opportunity to weed out again, to take what we love and discard the rest.

Besides physical stuff, there’s emotional crap to leave behind as well. My husband and I separated in August of 2012 for 9 months. When we decided to reconcile, we merely coexisted for 1 ½ years. I wrote a couple of posts about it last year when I was exploring my feelings on how to go about reconnecting. This resulted in a “talk” in December about possibly calling it quits for good. At that point we made the decision to recommit. It’s been almost a year of connectedness, but I’ve been holding on to some of the relationship “junk.” I’m making a commitment to let it go and leave it behind. I’m looking forward to a fresh start in our new home where we’ve only ever loved and been committed to each other.

“Don’t look back. You’re not going that way.”

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While I’m leaving emotional junk behind, I’m going to leave as much as I can bag up and throw away (which it just occurred to me that we can choose to do this EVERY DAY if we’ll only remember to do so.)

When I leave this house, I’m choosing to see myself as a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, ready to soar. I’m leaving my feelings of insecurity, guilt, and failure in the cocoon. I’m enough. I’m enough every day and so are you! We don’t have to carry old baggage around with us.

That baggage is a story. It may be a story based on actual events but it’s still a story. It may be a story you are telling yourself or it may be a story that someone else has been telling you your whole life about WHO YOU ARE and how you do things, but you can choose to change the story at any point as many times as you want to, EVERY DAY even. You are not stuck! You have the power to write your story and make it beautiful. Don’t give your power away. Don’t let anyone else write your story. If it’s not a happy one, for Pete’s sake, change it. Only you can.

If you want to change your story but don’t know how or where to start, I encourage you to consider What Every Person Can Do.  I’m here to answer questions and support you any way I can!

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How To Have A Great Day

Friday was a GREAT day! I got the kids on the bus, made a quick call to Bill to catch up with him after his recent workshops in England.  I got off the phone and decided to take a little bit of quiet time and plan my day and maybe even write a little before tackling the house.  It was a wreck.  I’ve been working 3 twelve hour days a week for a little over a month.  On my days off, instead of staying home and cleaning, I’ve been off with Jason in search of fun inventory for The Awesome Possum or house hunting.    

I sat down with a cup of coffee and started writing.  I don’t do it enough and I REALLY enjoy it.  There are ALWAYS other tasks that need to be done and I’ve felt so stifled creatively, but the words flowed that morning.  As I was wrapping up my post (you can read it here) I got a text.  

beth and sarah

My friend Beth wanted to drive 40 minutes to see me.  Panic set in.  I wanted to spend time with her.  We haven’t seen each other in 6 months but she couldn’t possibly come over.  Beth is so organized and put together.  She’s one of my oldest friends and has seen my messy house many times but this time was different.  She’s got 8 month old Finlee now and I couldn’t imagine that sweet baby on my dirty floor.  My vehicle decided to give me grief a week ago and we’re down to 1 car for the time being, so I couldn’t meet her anywhere.  I told her she couldn’t come over but we could go out to eat.  

You’d have thought I was going on a date the way I prepared for lunch. Like I said, Beth is ALWAYS put together (for example she and 8 month old Finlee were both wearing WHITE! AND STAYED CLEAN!!!) but she also works for a dentist. I took extra care brushing with toothpaste and hydrogen peroxide for EXTRA bright teeth. I don’t get out enough 🙂

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We had a nice lunch and then went to a few little shops around my tiny town in search of birthday presents for a couple of friends, to no avail.

When she dropped me back off, I went inside and started cleaning.  I worked for a few hours.  The kids got home from school in the middle of the cleaning stint.  I could’ve cleaned for days, but settled for the downstairs being good enough.  We ordered pizza and watched Hocus Pocus.  CLASSIC! The girls loved it.

I fell asleep during the second movie but when we moved upstairs to bed, I got a second wind and stayed awake until around 2:00 watching Friends on Netflix.  I’m so not okay with the fact that all of those actors and actresses are now in their 50’s and I’m quickly approaching 40.

There was nothing extraordinary about the day but it felt special.  It felt complete.  I love days that feel complete.  They occur more often when I take time to think about my day, when I take time to do Self Care.  When I don’t take time to “set my intentions” for the day or to recognize that life is going by quickly (Jennifer Aniston is 50 for crying out loud!) then I’m just reacting to what life hands me instead of creating a day that feels complete.  

Yesterday wasn’t a great day for me.  I didn’t take time to get grounded in my well being.  I didn’t take time to pray/do Self Care.  I woke up and fell into the day.  I chose to dwell on some pretty unpleasant thoughts ALL DARN DAY.  I KEPT on choosing them over and over.  I kept choosing to look at a picture that triggered the thoughts.  It was a choice.  I created my unpleasant day.  It was rough.  There was a happy period in the day when my kids asked me to play games with them.  As you’ll recall, the upstairs of the house hadn’t been cleaned yet.  I told my son I had work to do and he insisted I take time to play.  I’m so glad I did.   

Anyway, this morning I woke up a little down and these thoughts helped me get back on track this morning and I hope they’ll be of use to you too.

Don’t get going on your day just yet.  What do you want from today?  How are you going to live today fully?  What do you want to do with your time?  Who would you like to spend time with?  How do you want to feel at the end of the day?  Think about it.  

Now…you’re ready.  Make it a great day.

For more on Self Care click here and here.

If you’re struggling or dealing with a loved one in pain, check out What Every Person Can Do.  It’s incredibly affordable.  12 weeks of support for what 1 hour of counseling would cost!  But…and I know this firsthand, even reasonably priced is not an option sometimes, so don’t write this off. Partial and full scholarships are available for those that need them and are serious about going through the work.  If you have questions for me, you can get in touch with me here.

 




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Dream A Little Dream

Once upon a time there was a woman, not a girl because 37 year olds are women, even though she still felt very much like a girl some days.  This girl, I mean woman spent 4 years spilling over with positivity and hope for a brighter future for her family and all people everywhere.  She got tired of being positive all the time.  She quit dreaming and went to work in a peanut butter and jelly factory where the rest of her creativity and positivity was squelched entirely.  THE END

PSYCH!

This woman went to work in a peanut butter and jelly factory, the PERFECT job for any mommy, making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  (Oh yeah, sorry for that crust on your kids uncrusted sandwich.) She went to work and she kept right on dreaming.  She dreamed of working an extra day a week and all the ways she could spend that money on her kids or watching the savings add up.  She dreamed of going back to school.  She dreamed of volunteering on her days off.  She’d always wanted to do some volunteer work.  She dreamed of making a cozy home for her family.  She dreamed of baking and doing art projects with her girls on the weekend.  She dreamed of reading to those little girls at bedtime.  She dreamed of writing more than once every 3 months.  She dreamed of preparing a meal other than spaghetti to impress her husband, the primary dinner maker.  She dreamed of grocery store trips and special time out with one child a week, even the grown one.  She dreamed of eating healthy.  She dreamed of date nights.  She dreamed of working with her mentor full time.  She dreamed up a few non-profit organizations and imagined the women and children benefiting from their services.  She dreamed of confidence and the right words to say at the right time.  She dreamed of making people laugh, especially her husband and kids.  She dreamed of road trips and vacations and freedom.  Yes, she was a dreamer and she was also a doer, even though she didn’t give herself enough credit for the doing that she did, after all she was just one girl…I mean woman.  She felt like she was all dreams, no action.  She reminded herself that she couldn’t possibly do all of those things at once, but she could do some of them.  

She dreamed up an idea to encourage women on Facebook because she was overflowing with enthusiasm when she learned that she could create her life, that she had more POWER than she ever dreamed possible.  She created the page and started posting.  It was just like Field of Dreams.  She built it and they came and she was so grateful for their presence and mutual encouragement.  

Keep dreaming friends but don’t stop there.  Pick a dream and RUN WITH IT!  I’ll do the same.  I’m picking the cozy home dream today.  It’s ANYTHING BUT at the moment.  I’ve got my day’s work cut out for me.   




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Self Sabotage

Hey there!  Thanks for clicking and reading this post 🙂

I haven’t been making time to write and the rare moments I sit down to do so, my brain feels all clogged up.  I even put off writing by cleaning.  That feels bizarre but I also like the results I’m getting.

There are a few reasons that I can see that I’m not writing consistently.

1. Lack of confidence/fear- What if it’s not clever enough, like Marc and Angel who hack everything there is in life to hack?  What if it doesn’t provide any value?

2. Perfectionism- I put so much pressure on myself to make sure everything I write is the right combination of words.  It takes way too long to compose what should be a quick Facebook post, email, or Birthday card.  What takes the average person 2 minutes to write, takes me 10.  No joke.

3. Lack of discipline/time management- I can squeeze in 15 or 30 minutes into my now super duper busy schedule.  I’m working a full time job now and have about four hours a day to get done what needs to get done.  That’s housework, a side job, family time, and writing projects.  That’s a pretty tall order, but not impossible.  There’s also about an hour in the middle of the night, when I get home from work, that I’m wide awake and have been spending watching Netflix as I get sleepy.

Steve Chandler, the man I credit for flipping the switch on my thinking with his book 100 Ways To Motivate Yourself, sent out this recent email.  At first I didn’t connect with it at all, but as I was procrastinating, by doing housework and filling up my four hours with everything but writing, it came back to me and STUCK.

Robert Kegan quotes William Perry, a favorite
teacher of psychology of his at Harvard, “Whenever
someone comes to me for help, I listen very hard and
ask myself, ‘What does this person really want–
and what will they do to keep from getting it?'”

This is a question worth asking ourselves (and our
clients when they come to us for help.)

What do I really want, and what will I do to
keep from getting it?

My first night at work, my trainer asked me what I did before coming to this job.  I told him that I’d mostly been a stay at home mom and worked a few part time jobs over the years. I hesitated and then decided to share about the last four years of personal development and my desire to share what’s worked for me with others.  He was very curious about the What One Person Can Do program.  Each break, he’d ask me to tell him more.  As we talked, I knew this program could support him in his situation.

All of that to say, THAT’s one of the things I want to be doing!  I want to be spreading the news about THAT program that had a SIGNIFICANT impact on the way I live my life, a life that used to be riddled with worry and stress and is now positive and more often than not, worry free.

There’s still a ton of circumstances I could be freaking out about on a daily basis, but I’ve learned to do what I can and go on to have a VERY enjoyable day, EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF A CRISIS.  I WANT THAT FOR EVERYBODY!

Here are the things I have control over, keeping me from having what I want.

1. Lack of confidence–Telling myself I’m not qualified to share.  You know, I need some letters behind my name or something. (Side note–I mentioned to my trainer that I know I’m holding myself back because I’ve been “just a mom” for all these years to which he replied, “That probably makes you MORE qualified.”  THANKS MISTER!)

2. Perfectionism–If I can’t do this well, because of the lack of letters behind my name, then I might as well not do it at all.

3. Lack of discipline–not writing and sharing daily.

And here are my 3 responses to myself where all of the negativity and holding myself back is concerned.

1. Everybody has something to contribute.  We’ve all learned valuable lessons from our experiences.  I’ve experienced peace in the middle of times of trouble and that’s not something you learn in college.  Someone else can experience stress free times too if I’ll just open my mouth.

2. I need to get started and let GOOD ENOUGH be enough, because I am NEVER going to be perfect and really I don’t want to be.  I’ll do my best and have a great time doing so.

3.  Make contact daily, even if it’s one small task or a 15 minute writing session.

There are many things that I want and I need to get good and clear on how it all looks, but for now I’m starting with writing more and sharing What One Person Can Do as well as the online version What Every Person Can Do. Wish me luck!

What about you?  What do you do to keep yourself from having what you REALLY want?  Leave a comment below if you feel like sharing.  I’d love to hear from you 🙂

Sarah Boucher

Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there.  If you have questions about What One Person Can Do or the online version, email sarahboucher@iamapowerfulwoman.net or bill@oneperson.net with What One Person Can Do in the subject line.

 




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I Want Balance, Lots and Lots of Balance

You know those days when there’s nothing to be upset about but you just feel down or unsettled? I’ve been feeling that way lately and I discovered the reason while listening to a Zig Ziglar audio a few days ago.

Zig was talking about the 7 areas of our life that, when worked on, leave us feeling a sense of balance and set us up to lead a more successful life.  As he was talking, I recognized that my life is pretty dang unbalanced and knew instantly what was bothering me the most and how to fix it.

7 areas of life

Another reason I get frustrated and feel “off” from time to time is because I try to tackle all 7 areas at once.  I’m all over the place and I’ve struggled to move forward with any consistency in any one of these areas.

Why am having so much difficulty moving forward?

Bill and I discuss this problem in today’s video.  (We had a technical glitch at the end but the audio continues.)

Sarah, I, 4_24_15 from Bill Cumming on Vimeo.

If you missed last week’s video, click here.

For the Ziglar audio, click here.  (There’s a big pause halfway through the audio but it picks back up after a couple of minutes.)

I truly appreciate your presence in the P-dub Hub and over on Facebook!  Feel free to share your thoughts or questions about everything posted.  I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!  Post  inspiring videos, songs, and posts on the wall.

What I’d really really love is if YOU share your experience of growing in your POWER, accomplishments (big or little as much and often as you’d like to share) or a post about the women in your life who inspire you.

 So let the sharing begin!

 I’m so happy to be connected to each of you and want only the best for YOU!

Sarah

P.S. I’d like to encourage you, if you’re struggling or dealing with a loved one in pain, to check out What Every Person Can Do.  It’s incredibly affordable.  12 weeks of support for what 1 hour of counseling would cost!  But…and I know this firsthand, even reasonably priced is not an option sometimes, so don’t write this off.  Partial and full scholarships are available for those that need them and are serious about going through the work.

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