Category Archives: Find Your Power

Always Do Your Best-This Marriage Stuff Part 2

Jason and Sarah 2014Last week I wrote about my marriage (click here to read that) and asked for pointers on getting more connected to the man I share my life with and have been friends with for over half my life.  I really appreciate all of you who shared your thoughts.  I’m condensing them here and hitting the highlights.

Jacqui-

“I advise you treat your marriage sacred like God intended and be grateful for what you have versus what you don’t, and definitely keep your marriage issues private between you, God and your husband…Good luck, you two will be in my prayers!”

Glenda-

My vote is that you go back to that therapist and start where you are at this moment. If an intersection is blocked, walking around drinking coffee and holding hands will not clear the path–although, walking and holding hands are excellent ways to approach the de-construction.

Cari-

Remember that marriage is a call to teach God’s love to the foreign culture we call our husband. Sometimes i have to step back and try to figure out how to relate to him. Sometimes I have to step back and give him room. What helps most of all is to remember the good times and try to get him to do the same. “Remember when we met?” is a good starter.

Bridget-

…we actually just started communicating better when I got ill. We threw everything right out on the table for one another, no matter how bad or heartbreaking it was. That night showed us how much we actually love and care about each other.

Nancy

It’s little things that matter. Take some time each day to show him you appreciate him. Maybe set up a regular date so you guys can connect. Sharing a cup of coffee in the morning or allowing a half hour of uninterrupted time for each other in the evening.

Janice-

You remember what drew you to him in the first place. Oh, and going to the beach is nice, if not, go for a long walk…..without kids.

Kerri-

Kiss. 15 seconds, no less every day. Even if you don’t want to. Carve out fifteen minutes of alone time together. Even if it is a walk or a coffee. I constantly feel disconnected with so many kids and a full time job, and my husbands PTSD. It is a struggle….but!!! When something is as important as marriage you do everything to keep it from being tarnished—you polish it every day.

Here’s what happened after that post.  I started thinking there were steps I could follow to fix our marriage.  I also started searching for that feeling of re-connection and happiness from him which led to some creepy neediness from me.  It felt horrible.  I don’t want to do THAT to me or him again.  I’m sure I’ll slip up and end up there from time to time, but I sure as heck hope I catch it sooner than I did this past week.  He lovingly saw me through it but we’re both exhausted and it didn’t make us feel any more connected.

Anyway, here’s what I ultimately learned and know to be true from my little visit to CRAZY TOWN.

No amount of kind words or thoughtful actions on either of our parts will fix anything or make the other person feel complete or loved.  Those activities are nice and should be done daily, but we both have to do the work of being completely happy and whole on our own to enjoy a happy healthy relationship, free of neediness, grudges, finger pointing, or guilt and shame.

The ONLY thing either one of us can do is DO OUR BEST each day to work on ourselves and be nice to our partner.  We’ve agreed that this is the best course of action, doing our best, which made me think about The Four Agreements because the fourth agreement is Always Do Your Best.

Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

I’ve decided to give away a copy of the book in January to a member of the POWERFUL Woman community (The P-dub Hub.)  To become an official member of the community and be entered into each month’s give away automatically, just fill in the form below.

Goodnight and good luck from the Kentucky Lottery!

Wait!  That’s the wrong sign off.  Let me try again.

My name is Sarah Boucher and I approve this message.

Join below!!!  I’m throwing in a little something besides the book as well.  I just haven’t decided what yet 🙂

 

 

 

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What Every Person Can Do

WEPCD image

Why have I started slapping www.whateverypersoncando.org on EVERYTHING?

I’ll tell you why.

I think this message of what every person can do is so important that it belongs in EVERY home, EVERY office, EVERY school, EVERY church, EVERY prison, EVERY community, EVERY government, in EVERY country!

Let me cut to the point. We get one shot to live this life and I want all people everywhere to struggle less.

“Impossible!” you might be saying to yourself.

“That’s a lost cause,” was the actual response of someone very close to me.

Well, in my opinion NOT A SINGLE ONE OF US is a lost cause and I’m willing to spend the rest of my life pursuing that theory.

I have a sincere apology to give you.

I’ve been hogging Bill Cumming all to myself for 3 years.

boothby institute bill cumming

I have this AMAZING resource to share in Bill and his life experience and I haven’t done so. Life is short and Bill’s not getting any younger (sorry Bill.) That’s the truth of the matter. He says he hopes to be around for 20 more years, but there’s no guarantee of that. That FREAKS ME OUT! I feel this sense of urgency to learn everything I can from him and share it.

I want EVERYONE I know to meet Bill and hear what he has to share. His message is not about how SUPER DUPER Bill is. It’s about how SUPER we all are.

It’s a POWERFUL message and it’s made my life easier. It’s helped me understand other people better. It’s made me want to step out of my comfort zone and do everything I can to get it in front of everyone.

Bill has been leading the 12 week program What Every Person Can Do with individuals, in schools, prisons, and in corporations for 30 years and has helped hundreds, if not thousands of people experience their worth, including me. I want you to add your name to that list. I want you to get the chance to hear his story and speak with him personally on Monday night at 8:00 Eastern. This is not a fancy pants recorded call that you can get the link to if you’re not able to make it, although I wish it were. I hope you can make it.

This call is for YOU if:

You are struggling in ANY way at all
You desperately want to help someone who is struggling but don’t know how
You are grumpy all the time
You stay worried a lot
You are going through marital problems
You hate your job
You are frustrated by your children’s behavior
You are rich
You are impoverished
You have a heartbeat

This call is not for you if:

You are a zombie
Your arms are to short to hold the phone up to your head because you are a t-rex
You are a blade of grass
You get the point 🙂


I’m looking forward to talking with all of you on Monday night!
Love,
Sarah Boucher

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Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there.

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What Are You Working For?

What Are You Working For?

Sarah Boucher | I Am A Powerful Woman
This is a question I’ve asked myself quite a bit lately.

I’ve been a stay at home mom for 15 years, with just a few months employment here and there, once in a wholesale club, another time as a school bus driver, and off and on over the last 3 years as a childcare provider in my home, but for the vast majority of the time, I’ve been what my husband now calls, “The Stay At Home.”

I’ve been measuring belts in a factory at my new job. It’s easy, but boring. It’s given me lots of time to ponder life’s greatest mysteries, well my life’s greatest mysteries anyway. My mind is ALL OVER THE PLACE during those 2 hour stretches between breaks. I’ve been amused by all the thoughts that come and go rather quickly, completely unrelated to each other (and the songs that pop into my head.) I’ve spent time being nostalgic, thinking about my childhood, revisiting some unhappy times as an adult, giving myself grief over mistakes, and then cheering myself up with some of those songs. I’ve also been able to get in some quality brainstorming.

Here are some of the songs that put some pep in my step or remind me what I want to be up to in life.

You’ll Be Okay
Put on a Happy Face
Breath of Heaven Not everybody’s cup of tea but it encourages me.
All I Want To Do (not the Sheryl Crow song)
Tonight You Belong To Me (random fun song that pops into my head A LOT)

I’m looking at any job I work at through this temporary service as just that, temporary. I like looking at it this way because I feel like I’m not stuck in this particular factory job forever, whether I end up working here for 5 minutes, 5 months, or 5 years. It’s one of the thoughts that are helping me transition from being “The Stay At Home” to a working gal.

There are other thoughts keeping me going too. One of the biggest motivators is of course that paycheck at the end of the week. That MAGICAL paycheck. That paycheck that’s going to help with bills, cover summer birthdays for 5 kids, allow for a couple of Girl Scouts trips this weekend and a road trip with my husband in September, and fund some creative projects. It’s AMAZING how far that paycheck can go in my mind and THAT’S JUST THE FIRST CHECK!!! Okay, in reality the first check was gone to pay a bill an hour after being cashed, but I never would’ve made it to the first check without the dream.

Half the time I enjoy what I’m doing and appreciate the fact that I have all of that quiet thinking time and the other half of the time I think about what other more enjoyable work I might be missing out on and how my right arm is sore and my wrist is starting to hurt and wah wah wah.

REALITY CHECK

When I got to work Thursday night, the lady who works across from me told me that an employee was found dead that morning. He was only 30 years old. I didn’t know him, but I felt sad for my co-workers who lost their friend. It snapped me into the present moment and to what matters most in life.

What am I working for?

For the rest of the night that magical paycheck didn’t seem so magical. In the grand scheme of things, what am I doing with my life? Am I working for “stuff”? What do I want for my future? What do I want now? What am I trading my family time for? Why am I doing this?

I’ve come up with these three answers.

#1 I want the money but not the STUFF.

I’d love to have the ability to buy STUFF but I don’t want that to be my motivation. Stuff is not important to me. I want the money because I don’t want to struggle financially any more. There’s too much stress in the struggle and it can be alleviated. I want financial freedom. Don’t we all? 🙂

#2 This is just part of the journey.

Working now in this way is a stepping stone. It’s necessary and it’s not a big deal. I’ve got a vision that I’m working toward and this is going to help me get there faster.

and finally

#3 I don’t have to have all of the answers.

“The greatest joy in life is being a contribution.” Bill Cumming

I’m pretty sure that the quote above is the short and to the point version of this much longer quote.

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish, little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”
George Bernard Shaw

For now, I’ve chosen to contribute to my family in this way and I like the way that contribution feels.

Do you have any words of wisdom to offer for balancing work and home? What are some of the ways you keep things running smoothly? I can use lots of help in this area 🙂 Leave your comments below or come on over to facebook and share them there.

I Am A Powerful Woman shirt
Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there. If you are interested in learning about the 12 week conversation What One Person Can Do, you can get in touch with Sarah here.

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The Greatest Victory

The Greatest Victory

There is a battle that rages daily in our homes. Each life is effected differently but EVERYONE is touched. There is no escape and it’s not a battle that anyone can fight for you or that you will be able to fight for those you care about.

If the battle is not won, some may be held hostage their entire lives, self worth will never be discovered, dreams will never be realized, and lives will be half lived. This is actually a very serious problem and extends beyond the surface I am scratching here. It’s the reason we struggle in any given area of our lives from being disorganized to struggling to live a healthier lifestyle to you name it. This battle is the battle of the mind.

It is constant, as you know, but there is hope. Peace among the inner voices is indeed possible.

“I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.” –Aristotle

I had so much fun making this short YouTube video below. In it, I share a couple of tips that have been useful to me in going into battle against myself.

I Am A Powerful Woman | Sarah Boucher | Self Talk
SELF TALK Video

In the comments below the video, I’d love to hear about any secret weapons you’ve used that have been effective in the battle you’ve been fighting. We’re all in different places. You may be home from the battle of the mind a disciplined, self confident, victorious warrior. Please share any resources you know will help the rest of us.

If you like the video, please share it with your friends and be sure to subscribe to my channel to see more.

Until next time, keep growing in your POWER.

Sarah

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Wake Up and Live

wake up and live rebel thrivers

21 Day Self Care Challenge, Day 4
Wake Up and Live

Some days feel magical: birthdays, vacation days, Christmas. This day was one of those days for me. Self Care can definitely support you in turning ordinary days into days that feel magical.

Besides being grounded in my thinking, today was great because Jason, inspired by our first REAL snowfall this winter or knowing that our girls would pick at each other all day out of sheer boredom, kept the ball rolling with traditional snow day activities.

He made a big breakfast, but he didn’t just prepare food. He turned our kitchen into a diner and had the girls help. They went around taking individual orders, preparing drinks (the drink station was a MESS!), and serving the orders as they “came up”.

boucher snow day bkft

After breakfast, they made snow cream.

boucher snow day snow cream

Then it was time to go outside and play in the snow.

boucher snow day playing

I love that Nora kept her apron on. 🙂

I was the photographer all morning, documenting the special day. I had a choice. I could take the opportunity to write or I could go outside and enjoy this rare snow day with my husband and kids. I knew better than to pass this chance up. I quickly bundled up and joined the fun. We watch a lot of Man Versus Wild and Man Woman Wild on Netflix, so the girls were calling Jason “Bear” and handing him big pieces of ice from the trampoline for the walls of an igloo.

boucher snow day igloo

When we were thoroughly frozen, we came in to read by the fire, drink hot chocolate, and eat the earlier prepared snow cream.

fireplace

When I finally did Self Care, I thought about how I want to ALIVE. I don’t feel like I’ve been living life fully for the last couple of years. I was already kind of isolated. Jason and I made the decision to stop going to church 7 years ago. The intention was to be with Christians regularly in our home, but things didn’t go according to plan, and I haven’t quite figured out what the next move is. When he and I separated for 9 months in August of 2012, I got REALLY REALLY isolated. I pushed away the support of friends for an unhealthy relationship. One thing I’ve learned for sure is that life is not meant to be a solo act and had I stayed connected to my support group, I wouldn’t have made some of the choices I made.

I’ve definitely become a homebody. Besides my new-ish life as a hermit, I haven’t been as present with my family as I’d like to be. More experiences out in the real world and lots of time with my family are at the top of my to do list and I’m actively looking for ways to make both of these things happen.

Self Care is a regular reminder of what matters most in my life.

After I did Self Care, our family had an impromptu photo shoot. Jason sells unique vintage items. He draped this old flag up on the piano so he could get a vision for what he’s going to do with it next. He sat down in front of it and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to take some silly pictures.

Boucher snow day fun

I’m extra pleased tonight because I chose to BE PRESENT with my family. I LIVED today to the fullest. Even though the day was filled with some extra fun, I know this feeling is possible on a normal day because I’ve experienced it many times before on Self Care days. I suspect that with regular Self Care, ALIVE is going to be the new norm. Off moments and days will still come, but not as often. If I’m wrong, I’ll let you know.

You may want to read Struggle Less if you’re curious about Self Care.

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Join me! A FREE Self Care Guide for YOU!

Self Care

21 Day Self Care Challenge, Day 3
I’m starting to see the beauty of this discipline thing. I’ve made a commitment to daily Self Care and the way in which I’m doing it, is exciting to me and killing all kinds of birds with one stone. I’ve never read the book The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles, but I hear people talking about it and I know I’ve been experiencing MAJOR resistance.

Have you noticed that I haven’t been talking much on my facebook page? I haven’t said much in months. Even though I’d love to sit down and have a chat with you and I spend a great deal of time thinking about what I’d say, when I sit down to share it, I just haven’t been able to. There’s been a BLOCK. It’s been extremely frustrating.

I’m not going to share pre and post self care thoughts today. You get the point and I notice my thoughts tend to be mostly the same before and after the process. I do want to share a feeling I noticed last night.

I’ve slowed down a lot over the last couple of months. I haven’t been trying so hard to get into my future. I want to be present and presently I have growing kids that I want to spend quality time with every day. I have a house that needs daily attention. I don’t want to live in a spotless house, but I know I can do better than I’ve been doing. I’ve been spending less time on the computer and more time on the house. The problem is that in a family as large as mine, I could work on the house all day and by the end of the day, there’s just as much work to do as there was at the beginning of the day. I’ve been going to bed feeling rather discouraged because I feel like I’m working really hard but not getting anywhere. When these feelings start to come, I give myself the what for because I’m OBVIOUSLY not good at my job as a stay at home mom.

Last night was different. I got half of my dishes done and that was the ONLY house work I did yesterday. My house was an ABSOLUTE wreck but I felt VERY peaceful as I walked back to the bedroom. The mess had no effect on me. And right this minute, hours later as I get ready to tackle that same mess, I feel that same tranquility. It’s AWESOME and I’m giving credit to the Self Care process for this calm.

When I mentioned killing lots of birds with a single stone, I feel like there’s added peace that comes when I pray about the Self Care thoughts. This 21 day commitment is allowing me to do Self Care, pray, and write about the process consistently, three areas of my life I have longed to be more disciplined about. Multiple birds with a single Self Care stone. I LOVE IT!!!

I want all of us to go through our days with MORE JOY, MORE PEACE, and MORE POWER and Self Care is a very effective way to do so. I created a one page Self Care Guide that you can print off and do your own 21 Day Challenge. I used it today and it helped my wandering mind stay focused. I even skipped around from one section of the page to another as my thoughts roamed, filling out whatever part of the page the thought fit into.

In addition to the Daily Self Care Guide, here’s a link to an AMAZING video that leaves me feeling like I’ve just done Self Care every time I watch it.

I hope you enjoy these resources and please feel free to share them with others!

I Am A Powerful Woman with Sarah Boucher

Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there. If you are interested in going through the 12 week conversation What One Person Can Do, you can get in touch with Sarah here.

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21 Days of Self Care, Day 2

Strong Women
21 Days of Self Care, Day 2

If ever there was a day I needed to do Self Care, today was it. I stayed up until 2:00 a.m. watching episode after episode of Once Upon A Time on Netflix. My 7 year old suggested we have a marathon, but she conked out by 10:30.

My intention before I left reality and was transported to Storybrook, Maine was to get up early and do Self Care before the day got going. I set my alarm for 6:30 and was prepared to tackle the day on only four or five hours of sleep. I did not however, expect the 3 a.m. phone call to go pick up an unhappy 9 year old at a lock in.

Ugh…

ANY TIME IS A GOOD TIME FOR SELF CARE

While getting grounded in your well-being is a GREAT idea 1st thing in the morning, and it’s silly for me to put it off, the good news is that Self Care is available 24/7. I finally made some quiet time at 4:00.

Why wait until 4:00, Sarah? Well…
I sat down at the computer as I do many mornings and got completely sidetracked. This morning’s sidetracked adventure was in learning that March is Women’s History Month and International Women’s Day is coming up on March 8th!!!

I’ve only known International Women’s Day even existed for 2 years, even though it’s been observed for over 100 years. I find this bizarre. Why isn’t there more awareness about a day that honors women who paved the way for the rest of us? Why isn’t there more awareness about this day that gives us a chance to consider our sisters around the world who don’t have the same rights we have?

If you’ve never heard of International Women’s Day, here’s a short video from the National Women’s History Museum that explains how this day came to be.

But I digress…

My pre-self care thoughts today were pretty rough because I was extra tired. I was having some major mom guilt over the lock in drama. I didn’t realize the lock in and Maggie’s Academic Team Regionals were the same weekend until just a couple of days before they took place. After much debating and some tears, we decided to take a chance and do both. I knew what the possible outcome would be, but it was worse than I predicted.

Not only was the lock in a bust, but Maggie was WAY TOO TIRED to even make an appearance at Regionals and as a result, lost her spot on the Academic Team. This MOM Fail on top of forgetting to pick up my 13 year old from school yesterday, on top of lack of sleep myself was too much. Had I taken time to do Self Care before this morning’s events unfolded, I might not have descended into the depths of mom guilt I found myself in.

Self Care Thoughts

My Self Care time was no different than any other time I’ve taken time with these 4 POWERFUL thoughts. I locked myself away and emerged feeling refreshed and focused, ready to create a productive and happy night with my family. Self Care is good stuff. Tomorrow I’m going for the good stuff at the beginning of the day instead of the tail end of it.

21 Days of Self Care, Day 1 goes into more depth about what Self Care is, if this is the first you’re hearing of it. It’s been so beneficial in my life and I’m doing this 21 day challenge to make it a habit instead of a random dose of well-being here and there.

I Am A Powerful Woman with Sarah Boucher

Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there. If you are interested in going through the 12 week conversation What One Person Can Do, you can get in touch with Sarah here.

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21 Days of Self Care, Day 1

4 Self Care Thoughts21 Days of Self Care,Day 1

I have experienced the incredible difference that taking time to do Self Care makes in my day. I feel like the 4 Self Care thoughts have become part of my thinking. Because of the overall impact this way of thinking has had in my day to day life, it is easy to become complacent when I wake up feeling peaceful, to skip the routine altogether. “I’ll do it after I get the kids off to school,” I say to myself, but then I start my busy day and later never happens.

My kids and husband have also noticed the difference Self Care makes in my day. When I’m not being patient or very loving, they call me out on it. “Have you done Self Care?” EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM has asked me this at some point over the last couple of years.

I’ve written a couple of blog posts and lots of facebook posts about Self Care, but it has yet to become a discipline for me. So even though, I’m mostly relaxed, even in the midst of some pretty chaotic times, I still have lots of off moments and occasional days where I’m a bit of a mess. This has been especially embarrassing when my friend Bill Cumming, who introduced me to Self Care, asks me how often I’m doing it.

So…it’s time. It’s time to get disciplined and experience the full effect Self Care can have on a life so that I can not only live my life to the fullest, but share with you what’s possible as well. I don’t want any of us to suffer needlessly. My life before learning about Self Care was full of unnecessary drama and self inflicted suffering.

For the next 21 days, I am challenging myself to be fully committed to doing Self Care every morning. After reading this post, I hope you’ll take a few minutes to do your own reflection on the 4 Self Care thoughts and see what a difference it makes in your own equanimity. Merriam Webster says equanimity is evenness of mind especially under stress. Self Care WORKS!

Pre-Self Care Thoughts on Day 1

So…it’s 11:00 am. I’ve had 5 hours of thinking time already this morning. These are some of the thoughts I’ve been thinking lately, having not done Self Care consistently for the past few months.

*Most mornings are unpleasant because of my 7 year old’s behavior. I love her but I dread waking her up. This morning’s fit was 5 minutes of drama over shoes. I don’t want to dread waking up my children.

*I’m not focused on my goals. I have so many ideas but I’m not making time to work on them. I’m scattered.

* I’ve been REALLY hard on myself. My life, while I feel so blessed, is not what I’d like it to be. I’ve made so many mistakes. BIG MISTAKES. I’m having trouble forgiving myself for not making better choices. I feel ashamed.

*I feel torn. I have a picture in my head of what life can be like on a day to day basis. I’d made the decision to pursue that picture, but reality is saying, “Not yet Missy.” I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

*I feel worried about some unknowns, like my health. I haven’t been to a doctor in years and I’m feeling kind of MORTAL these days.

As you can see, my mind visits some dark places. This has been my line of thinking once or twice a day, without the discipline of daily Self Care. Because I’ve done it in the past, I might spend more time than I should stewing over these thoughts, but I don’t stay in a constant state of worry or panic like I did before I learned about this invaluable tool. Still, these thoughts are unpleasant and Self Care will snap me out of it, get me grounded in my well-being, and support me in having a wonderful experience of being alive.

The 4 Self Care Thoughts
You can spend a few minutes thinking about these or praying about them. If you decide Self Care is beneficial for you, you’ll develop your own way of doing it, but here are the 4 Core Thoughts.

1. We live in a miracle.
2. Everything is interconnected.
3. The ONLY thing I can control is how I choose to BE in the world today.
4. Be gracious to yourself.

Besides thinking about and/or praying about these thoughts, you’ll want to reinforce them by reading a couple of pages out of one of these books or a similar book.

Real Love by Greg Baer

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Living Buddha, Living Christ by Thich Nhat Hanh

A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

My Grandfather’s Blessings by Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.

Post Self Care Thoughts
Check out the difference!!!

We live in a miracle. Today I’m thankful to be alive, for my family, my health, and all my blessings.
We’re all interconnected. We all effect each other. There is lots of work to do, starting in my home, with my children. If I’ll look past myself and how others are inconveniencing me or not meeting my needs…if I’ll take time to do Self Care and get grounded, I’ll see what I can do daily to help decrease suffering in the world. I’ll see opportunity everywhere.

None of this is about me. I want to share what I’ve experienced with others. I want everyone to have access to more peace and more joy.

The ONLY thing I can control is how I choose to be in the world today. If I’m grounded, I’ll see what needs to be done to show my 7 year old that she’s loved without condition. I’ll have the patience to go into her drama filled world and love her through her meltdowns. Instead of looking at her as an energy taker, I can fill my moments with her with positivity and help her see what choices are available in helping her create a happier experience.

About my health concerns and mortality. What can I do about my concerns today? Do I need to call and make an appointment of some sort? I feel GREAT today. I need to make the most of this day. It’s the ONLY moment I have any guarantee of. How am I going to use my time?

How do I choose to be in the world today?

I choose to be loving, joyful, and peaceful. I choose to not attempt to control the people with whom I live. My husband and I have changed a lot over the years. We’re not on the same page about a lot of things. I love him anyway. All I can control is how I choose to be today. My children are not little Sarahs. I choose to do the best I can to set a good example for them, to offer them loving guidance and hope they make good choices. It only causes me lots of frustration to try to micro manage everybody’s words and actions.

So my life isn’t going according to plan. All I can do is the best I can do moving forward. I’ve made mistakes. I can beat myself up and stay down or I can offer myself the same graciousness and love I would a friend and even a stranger. I choose to believe that everything is going to work out the way it’s supposed to, whether it ever looks like that from my point of view or not. I’m human and I can’t see the bigger picture.

Today I choose to be hopeful,
to do my best,
to love unconditionally,
to be calm,
to be a hard worker,
to take time to pursue my goals,
and to share what I’ve experienced.

WOW! I feel better!

I promise that future posts, concerning this personal Self Care Challenge over the next 20 days, will not be this lengthy. I just wanted to give you an example of my thinking before and after. This shift is possible for all of us, any time of the day, with these 4 simple but POWERFUL thoughts.

What did you think about this post? Can you see yourself using these 4 core thoughts to develop your own Self Care routine? Don’t be shy. Share your comments below. Speaking of sharing, I’d love it if you would share this post if you think the content would be useful to someone you care about.

I Am A Powerful Woman

Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily over facebook at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there. If you are interested in going through the 12 week conversation What One Person Can Do, you can get in touch with Sarah here.

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6 Tips for Finding More Time

6 Tips for Finding More Time

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.”
~Jim Rohn

blank paper

I write in my head all day long.

Sometimes I actually jot thoughts down to write about later—when there’s time.

GUESS WHAT? There’s NEVER extra time.

I write down the same ideas day after day. There’s so much I want to write about but it stays stuck in my head or in stacks of paper that never get revisited.

IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!

Here are 6 tips for finding more time. They’ve been helping me rethink my own issues with time. I hope you’ll find them useful as well.

#1 MAKE it a Priority.
This activity that you would love to be doing, whatever it is, needs to be moved up on your priority list, whether it’s a creative outlet, exercising, reading with your kids, or serving others.

If you can’t figure out how in the world to fit it in to your already overbooked schedule, move on to Tip #2.

#2 Track Your Time
Track your time to see where you lose 30 minutes or an hour. I did this a couple of weeks ago and it was eye opening. I already knew I was losing time in front of the computer but to track it and see it go was helpful.

#3 Pencil It In
One of the things I want to do but never get around to, because there is always so much to do, is to spend “fun time” with my kids. This is hard to admit because it seems so basic. Other families appear to have this family time down and we seem stuck as a family. We do the same thing day after day. The day seems completely booked with all of the to do’s. Over the summer, I wrote down HAVE A BONFIRE on my to do list. One bonfire led to subsequent bonfires and I learned if I want to have special time with my kids, I am going to have to plan those events. The same goes for my writing.

#4 Good enough
Good enough is a fairly new concept for me and I LOVE IT! Good enough is a POWERFUL weapon in the fight against PERFECTIONISM. It’s freeing to say, “The kitchen is good enough. The laundry is good enough.” We all know the house work is NEVER done. I don’t want to spend my children’s youth slaving to have a super clean home or checked out in front of the computer and miss out on any more time with them. Good enough will be the key that brings me balance and extra time.

#5 What’s possible for one POWERFUL woman is possible for another.
I know of women juggling the same set of circumstances as me, some of them with even more responsibilities than I have. If they can crank out a couple of blog posts, then it’s completely possible for me too. The only difference is that they’ve decided it’s a priority and I haven’t fully committed to it yet. I’m getting there.

#6 Put something down
I recently saw a quote that RUBBED ME THE WRONG WAY, but the more stressed I felt trying to accomplish EVERYTHING on my plate, the more I came to accept the truth of this quote.

“In order to pick up something new, you must first lay something down.” -unknown

I tried to beat the system because I’m rebellious like that. I went right ahead and picked up a business of all things. I signed up to be a Beachbody Coach. To have a successful business means you have to be a product of the product. right? That’s only going to be an additional 30 minutes to an hour of working out a day. No sweat.

Well actually, there is quite a bit of sweat involved. On top of that, it’s a business. I’m discovering that they don’t work themselves.

After a month of trying to hold all of that, in addition to what I was already holding, I eventually found something to set down.

“You can have it all. Just not all at once.” ~Oprah Winfrey

I guess Gloria was right.

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” ~Gloria Steinem

If you‘ve tracked your time and there is seriously not a spare minute in your day for the thing you’d love to do, what can you put down?

So…what are you waiting for? Get busy doing the thing you’ve been putting off. It’s time.

I Am A Powerful Woman

Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there. If you are interested in learning more about the 12 week conversation What One Person Can Do or in one on one coaching with Sarah, you can get in touch with her here.

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Are You Afraid?

Fear

Are You Afraid?

“Some mornings you just need to punch fear in the face & tell it to shut up! Go past the emotions & don’t look back! Then, make it habit!”
~Sandi Krakowski

I didn’t eat much for a couple of years, as a child, because I was terrified of being poisoned. My mom had to take the first bite of any food I was afraid to eat to get me to eat it. She ended up taking me to a psychologist because I started looking malnourished.

My dad was diagnosed with MS when I was four and all of the unknown about what was going on around me, manifested itself in me being afraid of EVERYTHING. The psychologist encouraged my dad to spend one on one time with me. I eventually started eating properly again.

My irrational fears, while not as intense as they were during that period of my life, followed me into adulthood. The fear went from being afraid of being poisoned, to being afraid of a house fire (I was so scared any time Smokey the Bear came to school to talk about fire prevention), to being afraid my mom wouldn’t come home after work. As I got older I feared being raped. As a young adult, I had anxiety about severe weather. After that fear subsided, I felt like life was going too good and every time the phone rang, I was afraid it was going to be bad news, because how long could this happy time possibly last?

Do you know how many times the things I have obsessively worried about have actually happened? Like once! and I survived.

What changed?

Stay tuned

When I was 21, I had a few small panic attacks following a big hail storm. I got to a place where I wasn’t functioning properly on days there was a threat of severe weather. I’d pass up opportunities to get out with my 3 year old and socialize. Instead I would just stay home and hide from the clouds. I went to talk to a counselor about my fear. She reassured me that I wasn’t the only one in town traumatized by that storm.

At some point I noticed that our local weathermen like to create a lot of drama about potential severe weather, because they don’t see a lot of action here. Because of our karst topography, we don’t get the severe weather that other parts of the state and country get. I came to the realization that I can’t do anything about severe weather one way or the other. I HATED the way it felt to be afraid, so I quit watching the weather. I also felt like being terrified didn’t show much trust in God and why would anyone want to become a Christian if Christians were so afraid? There was also a coming to terms with the fact that I am going to die one day and if that’s how it’s going to happen, then that’s how it’s going to happen, (but more than likely it wouldn’t happen in my hometown so I could quit worrying about it so much.)

The second big shift came about 3 years ago. I was listening to Steve Chandler talk about how much energy people spend worrying about things that DO NOT ever happen. That audio gave me permission to quit being so fearful. It was exactly what I needed to hear. He went on to say that we can use that same amount of energy to create solutions and take action to improve situations that we can actually do something about. If there is nothing that can be done, we can focus our energy in a different direction besides worry. Do what you can and then MOVE ON.

The ONLY thing I can control is how I CHOOSE to BE in the world today. I have absolutely ZERO control over anything or anyone but myself.

If someone who spent as many years being afraid as I did can overcome fear then I KNOW you can too!

A Self Care routine is helpful in overcoming fearful thoughts as well. It’s a daily reminder that this day is a gift and you get to choose whether to live it in fear or bravely facing your fear. Read more about Self Care here.

Thanks so much for reading. I’d love to hear your thoughts about this post. Come over to facebook and let me hear em!
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Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to find their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there. If you are interested in learning more about What One Person Can Do or one on one coaching, you can contact Sarah here.

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