Category Archives: Self Care

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Self Care

21 Day Self Care Challenge, Day 3
I’m starting to see the beauty of this discipline thing. I’ve made a commitment to daily Self Care and the way in which I’m doing it, is exciting to me and killing all kinds of birds with one stone. I’ve never read the book The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles, but I hear people talking about it and I know I’ve been experiencing MAJOR resistance.

Have you noticed that I haven’t been talking much on my facebook page? I haven’t said much in months. Even though I’d love to sit down and have a chat with you and I spend a great deal of time thinking about what I’d say, when I sit down to share it, I just haven’t been able to. There’s been a BLOCK. It’s been extremely frustrating.

I’m not going to share pre and post self care thoughts today. You get the point and I notice my thoughts tend to be mostly the same before and after the process. I do want to share a feeling I noticed last night.

I’ve slowed down a lot over the last couple of months. I haven’t been trying so hard to get into my future. I want to be present and presently I have growing kids that I want to spend quality time with every day. I have a house that needs daily attention. I don’t want to live in a spotless house, but I know I can do better than I’ve been doing. I’ve been spending less time on the computer and more time on the house. The problem is that in a family as large as mine, I could work on the house all day and by the end of the day, there’s just as much work to do as there was at the beginning of the day. I’ve been going to bed feeling rather discouraged because I feel like I’m working really hard but not getting anywhere. When these feelings start to come, I give myself the what for because I’m OBVIOUSLY not good at my job as a stay at home mom.

Last night was different. I got half of my dishes done and that was the ONLY house work I did yesterday. My house was an ABSOLUTE wreck but I felt VERY peaceful as I walked back to the bedroom. The mess had no effect on me. And right this minute, hours later as I get ready to tackle that same mess, I feel that same tranquility. It’s AWESOME and I’m giving credit to the Self Care process for this calm.

When I mentioned killing lots of birds with a single stone, I feel like there’s added peace that comes when I pray about the Self Care thoughts. This 21 day commitment is allowing me to do Self Care, pray, and write about the process consistently, three areas of my life I have longed to be more disciplined about. Multiple birds with a single Self Care stone. I LOVE IT!!!

I want all of us to go through our days with MORE JOY, MORE PEACE, and MORE POWER and Self Care is a very effective way to do so. I created a one page Self Care Guide that you can print off and do your own 21 Day Challenge. I used it today and it helped my wandering mind stay focused. I even skipped around from one section of the page to another as my thoughts roamed, filling out whatever part of the page the thought fit into.

In addition to the Daily Self Care Guide, here’s a link to an AMAZING video that leaves me feeling like I’ve just done Self Care every time I watch it.

I hope you enjoy these resources and please feel free to share them with others!

I Am A Powerful Woman with Sarah Boucher

Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there. If you are interested in going through the 12 week conversation What One Person Can Do, you can get in touch with Sarah here.

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21 Days of Self Care, Day 2

Strong Women
21 Days of Self Care, Day 2

If ever there was a day I needed to do Self Care, today was it. I stayed up until 2:00 a.m. watching episode after episode of Once Upon A Time on Netflix. My 7 year old suggested we have a marathon, but she conked out by 10:30.

My intention before I left reality and was transported to Storybrook, Maine was to get up early and do Self Care before the day got going. I set my alarm for 6:30 and was prepared to tackle the day on only four or five hours of sleep. I did not however, expect the 3 a.m. phone call to go pick up an unhappy 9 year old at a lock in.

Ugh…

ANY TIME IS A GOOD TIME FOR SELF CARE

While getting grounded in your well-being is a GREAT idea 1st thing in the morning, and it’s silly for me to put it off, the good news is that Self Care is available 24/7. I finally made some quiet time at 4:00.

Why wait until 4:00, Sarah? Well…
I sat down at the computer as I do many mornings and got completely sidetracked. This morning’s sidetracked adventure was in learning that March is Women’s History Month and International Women’s Day is coming up on March 8th!!!

I’ve only known International Women’s Day even existed for 2 years, even though it’s been observed for over 100 years. I find this bizarre. Why isn’t there more awareness about a day that honors women who paved the way for the rest of us? Why isn’t there more awareness about this day that gives us a chance to consider our sisters around the world who don’t have the same rights we have?

If you’ve never heard of International Women’s Day, here’s a short video from the National Women’s History Museum that explains how this day came to be.

But I digress…

My pre-self care thoughts today were pretty rough because I was extra tired. I was having some major mom guilt over the lock in drama. I didn’t realize the lock in and Maggie’s Academic Team Regionals were the same weekend until just a couple of days before they took place. After much debating and some tears, we decided to take a chance and do both. I knew what the possible outcome would be, but it was worse than I predicted.

Not only was the lock in a bust, but Maggie was WAY TOO TIRED to even make an appearance at Regionals and as a result, lost her spot on the Academic Team. This MOM Fail on top of forgetting to pick up my 13 year old from school yesterday, on top of lack of sleep myself was too much. Had I taken time to do Self Care before this morning’s events unfolded, I might not have descended into the depths of mom guilt I found myself in.

Self Care Thoughts

My Self Care time was no different than any other time I’ve taken time with these 4 POWERFUL thoughts. I locked myself away and emerged feeling refreshed and focused, ready to create a productive and happy night with my family. Self Care is good stuff. Tomorrow I’m going for the good stuff at the beginning of the day instead of the tail end of it.

21 Days of Self Care, Day 1 goes into more depth about what Self Care is, if this is the first you’re hearing of it. It’s been so beneficial in my life and I’m doing this 21 day challenge to make it a habit instead of a random dose of well-being here and there.

I Am A Powerful Woman with Sarah Boucher

Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there. If you are interested in going through the 12 week conversation What One Person Can Do, you can get in touch with Sarah here.

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21 Days of Self Care, Day 1

4 Self Care Thoughts21 Days of Self Care,Day 1

I have experienced the incredible difference that taking time to do Self Care makes in my day. I feel like the 4 Self Care thoughts have become part of my thinking. Because of the overall impact this way of thinking has had in my day to day life, it is easy to become complacent when I wake up feeling peaceful, to skip the routine altogether. “I’ll do it after I get the kids off to school,” I say to myself, but then I start my busy day and later never happens.

My kids and husband have also noticed the difference Self Care makes in my day. When I’m not being patient or very loving, they call me out on it. “Have you done Self Care?” EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM has asked me this at some point over the last couple of years.

I’ve written a couple of blog posts and lots of facebook posts about Self Care, but it has yet to become a discipline for me. So even though, I’m mostly relaxed, even in the midst of some pretty chaotic times, I still have lots of off moments and occasional days where I’m a bit of a mess. This has been especially embarrassing when my friend Bill Cumming, who introduced me to Self Care, asks me how often I’m doing it.

So…it’s time. It’s time to get disciplined and experience the full effect Self Care can have on a life so that I can not only live my life to the fullest, but share with you what’s possible as well. I don’t want any of us to suffer needlessly. My life before learning about Self Care was full of unnecessary drama and self inflicted suffering.

For the next 21 days, I am challenging myself to be fully committed to doing Self Care every morning. After reading this post, I hope you’ll take a few minutes to do your own reflection on the 4 Self Care thoughts and see what a difference it makes in your own equanimity. Merriam Webster says equanimity is evenness of mind especially under stress. Self Care WORKS!

Pre-Self Care Thoughts on Day 1

So…it’s 11:00 am. I’ve had 5 hours of thinking time already this morning. These are some of the thoughts I’ve been thinking lately, having not done Self Care consistently for the past few months.

*Most mornings are unpleasant because of my 7 year old’s behavior. I love her but I dread waking her up. This morning’s fit was 5 minutes of drama over shoes. I don’t want to dread waking up my children.

*I’m not focused on my goals. I have so many ideas but I’m not making time to work on them. I’m scattered.

* I’ve been REALLY hard on myself. My life, while I feel so blessed, is not what I’d like it to be. I’ve made so many mistakes. BIG MISTAKES. I’m having trouble forgiving myself for not making better choices. I feel ashamed.

*I feel torn. I have a picture in my head of what life can be like on a day to day basis. I’d made the decision to pursue that picture, but reality is saying, “Not yet Missy.” I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

*I feel worried about some unknowns, like my health. I haven’t been to a doctor in years and I’m feeling kind of MORTAL these days.

As you can see, my mind visits some dark places. This has been my line of thinking once or twice a day, without the discipline of daily Self Care. Because I’ve done it in the past, I might spend more time than I should stewing over these thoughts, but I don’t stay in a constant state of worry or panic like I did before I learned about this invaluable tool. Still, these thoughts are unpleasant and Self Care will snap me out of it, get me grounded in my well-being, and support me in having a wonderful experience of being alive.

The 4 Self Care Thoughts
You can spend a few minutes thinking about these or praying about them. If you decide Self Care is beneficial for you, you’ll develop your own way of doing it, but here are the 4 Core Thoughts.

1. We live in a miracle.
2. Everything is interconnected.
3. The ONLY thing I can control is how I choose to BE in the world today.
4. Be gracious to yourself.

Besides thinking about and/or praying about these thoughts, you’ll want to reinforce them by reading a couple of pages out of one of these books or a similar book.

Real Love by Greg Baer

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Living Buddha, Living Christ by Thich Nhat Hanh

A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

My Grandfather’s Blessings by Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.

Post Self Care Thoughts
Check out the difference!!!

We live in a miracle. Today I’m thankful to be alive, for my family, my health, and all my blessings.
We’re all interconnected. We all effect each other. There is lots of work to do, starting in my home, with my children. If I’ll look past myself and how others are inconveniencing me or not meeting my needs…if I’ll take time to do Self Care and get grounded, I’ll see what I can do daily to help decrease suffering in the world. I’ll see opportunity everywhere.

None of this is about me. I want to share what I’ve experienced with others. I want everyone to have access to more peace and more joy.

The ONLY thing I can control is how I choose to be in the world today. If I’m grounded, I’ll see what needs to be done to show my 7 year old that she’s loved without condition. I’ll have the patience to go into her drama filled world and love her through her meltdowns. Instead of looking at her as an energy taker, I can fill my moments with her with positivity and help her see what choices are available in helping her create a happier experience.

About my health concerns and mortality. What can I do about my concerns today? Do I need to call and make an appointment of some sort? I feel GREAT today. I need to make the most of this day. It’s the ONLY moment I have any guarantee of. How am I going to use my time?

How do I choose to be in the world today?

I choose to be loving, joyful, and peaceful. I choose to not attempt to control the people with whom I live. My husband and I have changed a lot over the years. We’re not on the same page about a lot of things. I love him anyway. All I can control is how I choose to be today. My children are not little Sarahs. I choose to do the best I can to set a good example for them, to offer them loving guidance and hope they make good choices. It only causes me lots of frustration to try to micro manage everybody’s words and actions.

So my life isn’t going according to plan. All I can do is the best I can do moving forward. I’ve made mistakes. I can beat myself up and stay down or I can offer myself the same graciousness and love I would a friend and even a stranger. I choose to believe that everything is going to work out the way it’s supposed to, whether it ever looks like that from my point of view or not. I’m human and I can’t see the bigger picture.

Today I choose to be hopeful,
to do my best,
to love unconditionally,
to be calm,
to be a hard worker,
to take time to pursue my goals,
and to share what I’ve experienced.

WOW! I feel better!

I promise that future posts, concerning this personal Self Care Challenge over the next 20 days, will not be this lengthy. I just wanted to give you an example of my thinking before and after. This shift is possible for all of us, any time of the day, with these 4 simple but POWERFUL thoughts.

What did you think about this post? Can you see yourself using these 4 core thoughts to develop your own Self Care routine? Don’t be shy. Share your comments below. Speaking of sharing, I’d love it if you would share this post if you think the content would be useful to someone you care about.

I Am A Powerful Woman

Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily over facebook at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there. If you are interested in going through the 12 week conversation What One Person Can Do, you can get in touch with Sarah here.

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Unleash Your Power With Self Care

Self Care helps me get centered–grounded in my well being.  When I approach my day this way, I have a better experience of life.  Circumstances that would normally send me over the edge are easily handled and life moves on.  I have experienced a major shift in my life because of practicing self care.

We are taught that the world is an outside in deal–that things outside of us make us happy.  When I get this thing I’ve always wanted, then I will be happy.  The truth is that happiness is ALWAYS an inside out job.  This is why self care is crucial.  Michael Neill says, “We think we are experiencing reality but what we are really experiencing is our thinking.”  Making Self Care a habit has definitely helped me with my thinking.

Image

Self Care is a very personal practice.  You have to find the right combination for you, but I will offer you the same starting place that was given to me.

These four Self Care thoughts come from Bill Cumming.  His organization is called The Boothby Institute. Bill recommends spending time each morning thinking about these four main points and then reading a couple of pages from authors like Marianne Williamson, Don Miguel Ruiz, and Greg Baer, whose books reinforce the main ideas of Self Care.

Self Care Thoughts

  1. We live in a miracle.
  2. We are ALL interconnected.
  3. The ONLY thing I can control today is the way I CHOOSE to BE in the world.
  4. Be gracious with yourself.

When I first started self care, I thought about these four thoughts and then tacked on The Four Agreements too.

  1. Be impeccable with your word.  (Don’t use your words to hurt yourself or others.
  2. Don’t take anything personally.  (Nothing others do or say is because of you.  It’s their own drama.)
  3. Don’t make assumptions.  (Don’t assume you know what others are thinking or that they know what you are thinking.)
  4. Always do your best.  (Your best changes from day to day.)

Doing self care that way worked for me, but now I do it differently.  I pray about the Self Care thoughts and then pray about whatever else I want to pray about.  It just seems natural to me in thinking about the miracle of life, to thank God for it right then and there.  That may or may not work for you.  There are no rules.  I only know that taking time to dwell on those four points does make an incredible difference in the way I experience a day.

If you find yourself in the middle of the day ungrounded–do self care.  It makes sense that if it works in the beginning of the day that it would work in the middle too.

I want all of us to go through our days with MORE JOY, MORE PEACE, and MORE POWER and Self Care is a very effective way to do so. I created a one page Self Care Guide that you can print off. I use it from time to time to help my wandering mind stay focused. I even skip around from one section of the page to another as my thoughts roam, filling out whatever part of the page the thought fits into.

In addition to the Daily Self Care Guide, here’s a link to an AMAZING video that leaves me feeling like I’ve just done Self Care every time I watch it.

I hope you enjoy these resources and please feel free to share them with others!

I Am A Powerful Woman shirt

Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there.  If you have questions regarding the 12 week program What One Person Can Do or the online version What Every Person Can Do, you can get in touch with Sarah here.

 

 

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