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Category: Overcome Your Insecurities!

You Don’t Have to Apologize

Andy Andrews quote

You Don’t Have to Apologize
I have been known to take responsibility and apologize for many things that are not my fault. I was dubbed Sorry Sarah in fourth grade because I constantly said, “I’m sorry.”

It was not until I apologized for walking near someone in the grocery store (I wasn’t even in the way) that I realized I had a problem.

That day I got mad. I wasn’t less of a person. There was NO reason for me to lower my head and apologize for breathing the same air as this gentleman. It was on this day that my quest for higher self esteem began.

If you happen to think, “Hey! That’s me too,” I have good news for you!
You don’t have to apologize anymore, unless you want to.

Four Thoughts to Turn Your Thinking Around

I am very fortunate to have a therapist in my family, so I went straight to my mom and said, “How do I feel better about myself?”

I was going through a really tough time in my life. I was having trouble in my marriage. I felt like I had no idea who I was and why I felt so bad about myself—why I felt like less of a person.

My therapist mother told me to start with The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word

“Avoid using words to speak against yourself, or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love, always.”

Working on mastering the first agreement was what turned it all around for me and my self esteem started improving. When I noticed that I was beating myself up, I was able to correct it and use my words “in the direction of truth and love.”

You don’t have to apologize for taking up space when you realize you have value in the world.
YOU DO HAVE VALUE!

2. DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

“Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.”

There is great relief in learning not to take the negative actions of others personally when their actions seem directed at you. It is their drama, not yours.

3. DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

Don’t assume other people know what you are thinking and don’t assume you know what they are thinking.

“We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions.”

4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

“Just do your best–in any circumstance in your life. It doesn’t matter if you are sick or tired, if you always do your best there is no way you can judge yourself. And if you don’t judge yourself there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment. By always doing your best, you will break a big spell you have been under.”

I am bound and determined that the words Sorry Sarah will NOT be on my gravestone!

“My life will not be an apology. It will be a statement.”-Andy Andrews

You don’t have to apologize for your dreams!

You don’t have to apologize for being you!

Grab a copy of The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) Break the old agreements you have with yourself and replace them with these life changing ones!

I would love for you to come connect with me at I Am A Powerful Woman.

Sarah
I Am A Powerful Woman

Overcome Your Insecurities!

I was born insecure–well not really, but it seems like I was always that way.  I wanted to be accepted by other people.  At a slumber party, as a ten year old, a friend told me I smelled like strawberries and cigarette smoke.  I was so embarrassed and sad.  As soon as I got home I made a major effort to keep my bedroom door closed so my clothes wouldn’t smell like smoke ever again.  When I was about 14, a girl hollered down the hallway when she saw my white white legs, “Hey Sarah!  That’s why they have tanning beds!”  I don’t believe I ever wore shorts to school again and still don’t like them too much.  With the 100+ degree temperatures we have had this weekend if I owned a pair, I would be wearing them for sure though.

After the birth of my fourth child, I went through a depression that lasted about a year, not as bad as postpartum but unpleasant nevertheless.  I was completely overwhelmed with a new baby, homeschooling my 2 oldest, and keeping up with a toddler.  My little boys got used to the frequent melt downs and knew that when I had one, we wouldn’t be homeschooling that day.  They started looking forward to their free days.  One day I was sitting in my bed crying to a friend on the phone, and it occurred to me that I was NOT functioning.

I hit rock bottom emotionally when my husband and I almost separated a year later.  I remember feeling like I was NOTHING.  I knew I was blessed with healthy kids and a husband who loved me and wanted to work things out, but all of it threw me for a big loop.  It’s handy to have a mom whose day job is a therapist.  I called her and asked her if there was a way to work on my confidence.  She told me about The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

The first agreement is be impeccable with your word.  Don’t use your words to hurt yourself or others.

I later learned how our mind believes that what we tell it is true.

About two and a half years ago I really started applying the first agreement in my life.  I got sick of the self abuse I was putting myself through every time I made a mistake.  I remember giving myself a verbal lashing and stopping myself in mid sentence.  “No.  That’s not true.  I am a powerful woman.”  I made a choice to be nice to myself that day–to change the message.  When I caught myself being hateful, I would correct myself.  It took time, but it worked!!!

You would not stand by and watch anyone else being verbally abused.  Do not allow yourself to be abused either!  You ARE a POWERFUL woman!  Love and honor yourself!  You are POWERFUL and worthy of being treated like the POWERFUL woman that you are every day by YOU!  Set a good example for the little girls and women around you!

Watch this video You Are A Powerful Woman! and then share this post to share the POWER!  Sending love and POWERFUL thoughts your way! Sarah Boucher

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