Category Archives: POWERFUL Women Speak Out

Powerful Relationships Create Powerful Women

Powerful Relationships Create Powerful Women
By Heather Grant

“Non nobis solum nati sumus.”
(We are not born for ourselves alone.)
― Cicero

Often times when we seek out and are nurturing relationships, we are looking for someone to make us happy. This seems to be the world’s view of dating, marriage, and friendships. Find someone who can make me happy! The funny thing is to become truly happy we have to become less focused on me and more focused on the person we are trying to nurture a relationship with.

Sometimes as women we sit around waiting. Waiting to be asked on a date or for our husband to get a clue and bring us flowers. We wait for our kids to start treating us with respect, or for our friends to ask us out to lunch or give us a call to see how we are doing. Instead of waiting, it is time to take the power back into our own hands and begin doing and creating the life and relationships that we desire. In order to become powerful women we need to create powerful relationships.

Before I started my own business, I was a stay at home mom and I was totally wrapped up in my own life and challenges. When I began my own business, I was amazed at how many strong relationships and deep meaningful friendships I did NOT have! I was so wrapped up in my own life and problems that I didn’t reach out to other women in sincere friendship and support. Through building my own business and with lots of hard work and personal development, I am happy to say I have completely changed all that.

There is an object lesson I love. Take a single pencil and you can break it in half easily but when you bundle several pencils together they become unbreakable. They are strong and powerful when supported. Each of us needs those loving relationships in our lives and it is up to us to use the power within ourselves and create them. Sometimes this is easy and sometimes it requires us to sacrifice what we want and what we think will make us happy and to put someone else’s happiness first. Let me give you an example.

Jarom and Heather Grant

My husband and I try to go on dates regularly, and even after being married for several years, we struggle to come up with things to do on date night that we are both happy with. We finally settled on a compromise. He gets to choose the date one week, and then the next time we go out, it is my turn. He usually chooses to go fishing or hiking or something “manly”. I usually choose to eat out and watch a chick flick.

The fact is, I hate fishing! You get wet, cold and muddy. You usually don’t catch fish so it is extremely boring. Then, if by sheer luck, my hubby happens to catch a fish, he gives it to me to hold, so he can continue fishing. The fish flails and flings mud and slime all over me and scares me to death. Then it dies, which breaks my heart, and he cleans all the guts and blood out. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! I get eaten by mosquitoes and end up cold, muddy, and smelling all fishy-like. The funny thing is, that as much as I HATE fishing, I LOVE fishing with my husband because I know he loves it. He carries me across the river in the deep parts, and the look on his face when he actually catches a fish is truly priceless! He is so proud of himself! He holds that fish up high for me to see and gets this whole caveman attitude of, “See woman, me catch fish, we eat fish, I am man.” It is hilarious! I get the best feeling spending time with him when I am doing the things that I know he enjoys and makes him the happiest. My best dates are the ones when he chooses what we get to do. But, please, please, don’t tell him, because I want to eat out and watch a chick flick now and again too!

We need to quit waiting for our spouse or friends to spoil us and make us happy. Instead we need to try to spoil them and make them happy. The truth is that when you do this YOU find true joy and happiness! Instead of looking for business prospects to make us money, we need to seek to serve and support those we do business with and add value to their lives. When we do this it goes full circle and blesses our own lives financially.

To find true happiness we have to become less focused on me and more focused on the person we are trying to nurture a relationship with. Bring that hubby a treat to his work or slip him a kind note or text. Take your children to the park or read them that favorite book again and then again. Message that girl friend you have lost touch with, or better yet, give her a call and catch up. We can all think of a friend we love and have lost touch with. We lead fast paced, busy lives so we have to make it a priority to place a phone call or two and schedule that lunch date or girls night out. It is time to take power back into our own hands and begin doing and creating the life and relationships that we desire. As we seek to serve and make other people happy,we find true joy, satisfaction, and happiness.

10-6-2013 Heather Grant 112 (1)

About the Author
Heather loves reading, writing, and public speaking. She works as a wellness advocate selling doTERRA essentials oils. She focuses on helping people with physical, emotional, and financial health and well being. Heather married Jarom Grant, on August 2, 2002, in the Manti LDS temple for time and all eternity. They reside in Duchesne, Utah, with their five children. To find out more about Heather’s story or about her work as a wellness advocate check out this link.

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6 Safety Tips for Women

6 Safety Tips for Women
by Catherine Broughton

Catherine Broughton

Bearing poor Suzy Lamplugh in mind, (Suzy Lamplugh was an estate agent murdered in London) I always made a note in my diary as to where I was going and who I was meeting. There were, in those eight or so years of my little estate agency, only two incidents worth noting where I did feel in danger. The first was simply an empty house in St Savinien … no danger at all, really, except that there seemed to be a “presence” there – I was far too practical to call it a ghost – and there was a strong smell of blood. You read about hair standing on the back of your neck – well, mine stood on the back of my neck, and I was filled with such a sensation of horror that I fled within a few minutes of starting to look around. The vendor hadn’t accompanied me, and I understood why, and Jean wasn’t with me that day either. Never one to waste the smallest iota of my time or energy I nevertheless typed up a description, calling the house The Haunted House and knowing I would never sell it. But just the description in my books was good … people liked it, and my aim was to sell something, anything, even if they were in fact attracted out by a house they knew they wouldn’t buy.

The second incident was one spring day a year or so later. Again, Jean was not with me. It was one of those days where you feel a spring in your step, just because the sun is out, and I picked up my two clients at the designated place – probably outside the town hall – and took them to view an isolated farmhouse a few miles away. They were two men, both French, in their forties. This in itself was unusual because the French had no need to contact me – there were plenty of French agents.

A Call From France

The property was called Les Fellouins which, as far as I know, doesn’t mean anything, and was in a near-idyllic setting between the villages of Lussant and Tonnay Boutonne, surrounded by fields and the few gentle hills available. It was in need of repairs, but had plenty of space and a good-sized plot of land. Altogether a very sought-after kind of thing. I showed the men around, through the empty rooms and round the plot of land, then opened the barn door and climbed the ladder into the loft. Lofts in this kind of property are often huge wasted space and can cover the entire surface area of the house and the barns. The barns are usually attached to the house. Treading gingerly over the ancient floorboards I made my way to a window and, after a bit of fumbling in the dark, threw the shutters open. The place was full of huge black cobwebs.

The two men stood to one side, surveying the dark space, and brushing dust and cobwebs from their trousers.

Based on absolutely nothing at all, suddenly an alarm bell started to ring loudly and insistently at the back of my mind.

“I’ll go and fetch my torch from the car,” I told them.

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” one replied, “we can see.”

“No, no I insist! I’ll only be a second!”

My mouth dry and my legs numb with fear, I scrambled down the ladder and rushed to my car. I have never driven away so fast, instinctively locking the doors as I got in and sending mud spluttering up behind me. I don’t know what happened to the men. They must have hitched home. But I know that if they had been up-front they’d have phoned – “Hey, what the hell was up with you?!” – but they didn’t phone, and I know I had a lucky escape.

This is an extract from my book A Call From France. Sarah asked me to share what I learned from this experience with you. Here are 6 Safety Tips I think all women need to keep in mind.

Safety Tip #1
First DO NOT FEAR! Follow these tips as a precaution and out of respect for those that love you, but do not fear.

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”
― Marie Curie

Safety Tip #2
Trust your instincts. Some women are not really in tune with their instincts, they don’t “hear” them as it were. But if you have a gut-feeling about something, trust it – it may turn out to be wrong, but trust it all the same.

“Instinct is a marvelous thing. It can neither be explained nor ignored.”
― Agatha Christie

Safety Tip #3
Be sensible to the point of being tedious if you need to be. It depends on what you do and where you are going, but there is never any HARM in noting in your diary or on your calendar where you are off to – just in case. Even if you are heading for the park, it is worth noting it.

Safety Tip #4
If you are in the kind of job that I was in – ie you find yourself in lonely places with strangers, always park in such a way that you can make a quick getaway. Leave your exit route open, whether you are in a car or on foot. Don’t allow yourself to get boxed in to a corner. This applies to everything in life, physical and emotional.

Safety Tip #5
Never carry a weapon! You are far more likely to be killed by it than to kill. Being cautious, alert, quick and sensible are far better than any weapon could ever be. Apart from anything else most of us would be unable to use it anyway.

Safety Tip #6
Always remember that you ARE a Powerful Woman. Do not allow the idiots of the world to spoil your world because YOU are ready.

Catherine Broughton is an author, an artist and a poet. Her books can be ordered from most leading book stores and libraries, and are available on Amazon/Kindle. You can also down load them as e-books from her web site http://www.turquoisemoon.co.uk
Connect with Catherine on fb here Catherine Broughton. Novels, paintings, and poems

A word from Sarah
This is Catherine’s second guest blog. You can click here to read her first post, Raising Debbie.
What did you think about this blog post? What do you do to stay safe that you feel other women should be doing too? I’d love to hear your thoughts below.

If we aren’t connected on facebook already, come say hi here!

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Raising Debbie

A Call From France | Catherine Broughton

Raising Debbie
When we looked at Debbie, aged fifteen, going on sixteen, we felt proud. We had done well. We had raised her and her two brothers to be independent, kind, caring, self-assured, decent people.

Debbie had always had everything, from the buckets of family love and devotion, to the hours of attention through various childhood ups and downs, to the more tangible things like skiing and horse riding.

No, I don’t think she was spoilt. I worked, so she knew all about the dashing-around-I-haven’t-got-time-right-now, not to mention all the “I’ll be half an hour late picking you up from school”. She didn’t suffer for it and I don’t think children do, providing they know that they are loved and cared for in every way.

She had to work for her pocket-money. Just simple household chores – wash the cat’s bowls, empty the dishwasher, and so on. Nothing unreasonable.

So, no, she wasn’t spoilt.

She was a nice kid. A kid to be proud of.

So how do you cope when it all goes horribly wrong? What does a mother do when her lovely daughter starts to do all the things – the very things – you had trusted her not to do?

How do you handle it when she turns, seemingly overnight, from a sunny, cheerful teen to an obstreperous, snarling one?

When Debbie was almost sixteen she ran away from home with a thirty-five year old man who had just got out of prison. Out of the blue. She had had a tattoo done on one of her breasts, and I had been angry and hurt about that. A small butterfly, or a flower on a thigh or shoulder is one thing – but this was the head of a horse, very badly done, and huge. She had also, for several weeks, been slightly rude to me. Nothing much, just a bit of back-talk at odd intervals, which I ignored. So it was out of the blue.

Debbie put us through six years of nightmare. For four of those years she disappeared completely and we had no idea where she was or how she was. Alcohol, drugs, pregnancies, rape, police … you name it, we went through it.

Debbie came out the other end of it a pleasant young woman, relatively unscathed. We have a close relationship now, and I think I can say I am relatively unscathed too. But her dad has never really properly recovered. Her behavior triggered Meniere’s disease which has been with him 24/7 ever since – fifteen years now. He is clingy in his love for his daughter in a way that is perhaps slightly …. I can’t find the word … desperate, perhaps?

I am a strong woman. Very strong. I learnt to be strong at an early age. I went to fourteen different schools as a child. I changed country and changed language frequently. Sometimes we lived on a leper colony in Africa (my dad was a doctor of tropical disease). I was the eldest in a huge family. These things make you strong. From an early age you have to make or break. It is good for you.

I won’t go in to all the things that helped me, in adulthood, build-up my muscle (so to speak) but suffice to say that I dealt with A LOT. Never, when I was expecting my baby girl, did I imagine that she would be the cause of the biggest test. As part of my “recovery” process I wrote a book, “A Call from France” which was like a kind of catharsis for me.A Call From France | Catherine Broughton

Here are five thoughts I want to share with mothers who are going through traumas with their teenage children.

TRUST
Show your children that you trust them. This does not mean that you should necessarily trust them, but allow them to feel trusted. Trust, within reason, triggers responsible behavior. They do not need to know that you are still supervising quietly from a distance.

Do The Best You Can
My father always used to say that a parent can only do what seems to be the best thing at that particular moment. We all make mistakes and wish we had done things differently. As long as you are genuinely doing what you think is the best thing for your child, then that is what you must do, even if it turns out to be the wrong thing.

Still Learning
Teens, like children, are essentially selfish. By that I do not mean they are unkind in any way, I mean that their thoughts and feelings tend to centre, perfectly naturally, on themselves. Just as a small child learns to share his toys, so teenagers need to be learn to see the bigger picture. It is something they learn, so do not expect them to understand overnight your feelings when their own psyche has not developed enough yet.

What Do They Love?
I do wish that I had got Debbie involved in something she really loved, for I often think that might have made things turn out differently. Horse-riding or archery or whatever – I do think that if she had had a passion for something like that, it would have been better.

Relax
Know that it will be All Right. Children come home. Children grow up and become sensible adults. Some take you through the mill en route, and some do not. Relax. It is going to be OK. Not today, not tomorrow. But soon.

Catherine Broughton is an author, an artist and a poet. Her books can be ordered from most leading book stores and libraries, and are available on Amazon/Kindle. You can also down load them as e-books from her web site http://www.turquoisemoon.co.uk
Connect with Catherine on fb here
Catherine Broughton. Novels, paintings, and poems
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Hey POWERFUL women! It’s Sarah. Wow! Can you imagine going four years not knowing where one of your children was? It’s a place in my imagination I’d rather not visit for very long. I would like to thank Catherine for sharing a bit of her story here and the encouragement she offered to love our kids and do our best. It’s all we can do.

Did you like this guest blog? I think there is so much we can all learn from each other. Come over to I Am A Powerful Woman or comment below and let me know if you would like to hear from more POWERFUL women.

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