I was born insecure–well not really, but it seems like I was always that way. I wanted to be accepted by other people. At a slumber party, as a ten year old, a friend told me I smelled like strawberries and cigarette smoke. I was so embarrassed and sad. As soon as I got home I made a major effort to keep my bedroom door closed so my clothes wouldn’t smell like smoke ever again. When I was about 14, a girl hollered down the hallway when she saw my white white legs, “Hey Sarah! That’s why they have tanning beds!” I don’t believe I ever wore shorts to school again and still don’t like them too much. With the 100+ degree temperatures we have had this weekend if I owned a pair, I would be wearing them for sure though.
After the birth of my fourth child, I went through a depression that lasted about a year, not as bad as postpartum but unpleasant nevertheless. I was completely overwhelmed with a new baby, homeschooling my 2 oldest, and keeping up with a toddler. My little boys got used to the frequent melt downs and knew that when I had one, we wouldn’t be homeschooling that day. They started looking forward to their free days. One day I was sitting in my bed crying to a friend on the phone, and it occurred to me that I was NOT functioning.
I hit rock bottom emotionally when my husband and I almost separated a year later. I remember feeling like I was NOTHING. I knew I was blessed with healthy kids and a husband who loved me and wanted to work things out, but all of it threw me for a big loop. It’s handy to have a mom whose day job is a therapist. I called her and asked her if there was a way to work on my confidence. She told me about The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
The first agreement is be impeccable with your word. Don’t use your words to hurt yourself or others.
I later learned how our mind believes that what we tell it is true.
About two and a half years ago I really started applying the first agreement in my life. I got sick of the self abuse I was putting myself through every time I made a mistake. I remember giving myself a verbal lashing and stopping myself in mid sentence. “No. That’s not true. I am a powerful woman.” I made a choice to be nice to myself that day–to change the message. When I caught myself being hateful, I would correct myself. It took time, but it worked!!!
You would not stand by and watch anyone else being verbally abused. Do not allow yourself to be abused either! You ARE a POWERFUL woman! Love and honor yourself! You are POWERFUL and worthy of being treated like the POWERFUL woman that you are every day by YOU! Set a good example for the little girls and women around you!
Watch this video You Are A Powerful Woman! and then share this post to share the POWER! Sending love and POWERFUL thoughts your way! Sarah Boucher