I Am A POWERFUL Woman

More Joy. More Peace. More Power.

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I’m Single Single

September 18, 2019 / / 0 Comments

I’m single single.  For the last couple of years  I was only “kind of” single. I had a good friend I talked with every day.  I spent most of the time that my girls were away, with him. He often felt like more than just my friend but it really wasn’t ever a good fit.  It was more than he wanted and not quite enough for me. I considered myself overly attached and FINALLY decided to take a few steps back.  

How’s That Working Out For You?

That’s going…okay.  

I miss the daily interaction; hanging out, watching movies, playing cards, enjoying a fire, coffee…adult beverages, inside jokes.  I miss talking to my friend. We still catch up here and there, but it’s definitely different. It was different from the beginning though. Like I said, it wasn’t ever a great fit, but I’m thankful for his friendship and hope that we’ll always be friends in some capacity.    

It’s been an adjustment.  I’ve logged hours of Izombie.  I’ve read the first and most of the second Hunger Games series.  That Katniss–she knows all about boy drama. I’ve spent time with other friends.  I’ve started a podcast with a friend that’s coming together v-e-r-y slowly, but hopefully will pick up speed and be a thing I can share with you in a couple of months. 

I’m still not plugged into my life..my world, the way I envision.  I haven’t fully settled into my apartment. It’s only been 6 months.  Should I really be all the way unpacked?   

Now that I’m single single, I’m back to trying to make sense of the changes that have taken place in my life.

Yeah Yeah. Good Luck With That.

Single is weird when half of a couple is all you’ve known your entire adulthood.

One of the most annoying things about being single, besides the occasional bouts of intense loneliness, is that everybody (all the single men) look like possibilities.  It’s like you can’t help but consider what that potential relationship would look like. Why does that have to be a thought?  

My goal is to NOT rush into another daily male friendship–one that could potentially become more.

BUT! what I say I want and I what I end up doing are usually not the same thing.  

If I’m being completely transparent here, there’s another “friend” that I talk to fairly often who could easily fill the void.  That seems like a dangerous path to take. I really don’t want to have a second “different kind of friend” so I’m taking EXTRA care to focus on finding Sarah and not another hiding place.  Someday, I’m sure I’ll want to date, but that’s a way off still. By a way off, I mean at least another week or two.

I kid. 

Jealous Much?

Tonight I stood on my almost ex husband’s front porch and said goodnight to my girls.  He and his girlfriend of two years, stood up to go inside. We exchanged friendly goodbyes and they went into their home, where they’ll settle down for the night…together–like couples do.  

I’m jealous.  I’ll admit it.  I’m not jealous that they’re together.  I’m jealous that I don’t also have a person. I don’t want them to not have each other (most of the time.)  I care about that guy that I had five kids with. I want him to be happy. I care about her, as a fellow human. There’s just always seemed to me to be an unfairness about the whole situation.  Why do they get each other and I’m left to figure life out on my own?  

Because I Say So…

Because…this is the battle I’ve been called to fight.  My feelings about this single life are strong. So many of us rush from relationship to relationship instead of figuring out how to be happy alone.  I FEEL deep inside that the path for me is to get this lesson down before moving on. It’s a tough one, but I’m going to keep trying. That’s the goal anyway. 

I don’t see what I’m looking for in the relationship department occurring for a very long time. By very long time, I mean a month or two. More comedy (but also a loophole, just in case.)

I’ve learned a thing or two during my “kind of” singleness. I know more about what I’m looking for in a partner.  I know what feels good and what hurts my spirit. I don’t want to keep hurting myself, looking to someone else to meet my needs, to make me “feel” worthy of love.  It’s not good for me and it’s not good for them.

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Anthony De Mello says that love isn’t needy.  What we’ve all been taught love is, is bogus.  It’s not fireworks and lust. It’s not, “I have to have you or I won’t be happy.”  Love is FREE. When we lose our NEED for others is when we’re able to really love.

I want to be able to love with my whole heart, without condition. Love me back or don’t.  It won’t matter. I won’t need you to love me back and you won’t feel any pressure from me to do so. 

If only I could recap De Mello’s words in a way that do them justice.

Driving home, I had my moment of jealousy.  I thought about how I’ll be crawling into bed alone tonight.  When I thought about it, I noticed that the thought doesn’t sting as much as it used to.  I’m actually more and more okay with it.

Ha! I better be since there’s no one here to change that fact. 

I like getting into bed and reading until I can’t hold my eyes open. Turning off the light at whatever ridiculous time it happens to be, and getting right in the middle of the bed. I sleep FANTASTIC alone.

Single, Hold the Mingle for However Long it Takes

Being single isn’t a fate worse than death.  It’s an adventure. I can make this whatever I want it to be.  I don’t have to look at the loss of “my” story and grieve anymore.  That’s in the past.  

I have today.  Hopefully I’ll have tomorrow too.  And hopefully I’ll choose to live it fully present, embracing the gift of creating a new life.  I can make a home where I’ll still occasionally sit and watch Izombie, read good books, write more, have company, and care for my family the best I can.  It won’t be perfect, but it’ll be mine and I’ll cherish it. I already do.  

Check out Wake Up To Life, by Anthony De Mello. He passed away in the late 80s, but everything he said is SO relevant today. I looked for the CD set on Amazon, but they aren’t currently available there. I saw there, that most of the recordings are available on the internet for free as mp3 downloads, and most are on YouTube.

And now…it’s time for a chocolate chip cookie and an episode of Izombie.

No More Excuses

June 19, 2019 / / 0 Comments

I wish I was a prolific writer.  I’m amazed by the amount of content that people are able to crank out constantly and what appears to be effortlessly.  I love to write but the words don’t seem to want to come out on paper. Writing is almost a painful process for me.

Perhaps I’m not completely alone in this.  Ernest Hemingway said,

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”


It’s possible the words haven’t been flowing because I’ve been busy binge watching Supernatural and New Girl.  Both of them have been a delightful escape from reality.

It’s possible I haven’t created because I’ve been preoccupied hiding from my life at friends’ houses when my girls are at their dad’s.  We share equal time with them, so they’re gone half the week. I haven’t handled the transition well.

I had a conversation with one such hospitable friend last night.  We talked seriously about my latest come apart. I’ve been completely overwhelmed by my circumstances and feelings lately.  During our talk, I brought up my codependent nature and how it isn’t serving me in moving forward the way I desire.

I kind of feel like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride, who ate whatever type of eggs her fiance at the time was eating.


I’ve always thought of these parts of myself as being laid back, go with the flow, why rock the boat when you can be agreeable, positive qualities.  I still kind of do, but also have learned that it’s okay to voice my opinion occasionally…that is, if absolutely forced to do so.

These are people pleasing, fear of rejection, unflattering qualities that are easy to spot in others but I often fail to see them in myself because it’s how I’ve operated my whole life.  I guess I have to work on it. Dang it.

Time to pull out The Boundaries Book and possibly try Al Anon meetings.  I hear they’re beneficial for people who struggle with codependency. I’ll start with the book. Speaking of books and writing.

Perhaps I haven’t been writing because I’ve doubted my ability to produce anything of value to others and convinced myself that I shouldn’t even attempt it, instead of just writing for the sheer pleasure–well, except for the painful parts.

Back to codependency and not knowing what kinds of eggs I like. I actually do know what kinds of eggs I like–over medium, hard boiled, deviled, and scrambled with cheese…oh and I like scrambled eggs with salsa and a piece of buttered toast on the side.  

Image: From Runaway Bride–Maggie tries ALL the eggs.

Besides liking all the eggs, even though the birthing process of writing can be painful, I love to write.  If I’d spent the last two years doing more of what I love, instead of binge watching tv and avoiding my responsibilities (which just ended up producing a great deal of drama, which when I think about it will give me a ton of material to write about down the road) I could have potentially written a book by now.

All of this to say, my life hasn’t exactly been working for me and I want to work on myself and make the unpleasant circumstances better.  I haven’t been focused for many reasons, but as Jim Rohn says,

“If you want to do something, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.”

It’s time to stop making excuses and just do it already.  Just work on personal development. Just write every day, even if it’s for 15 minutes.  Just deal with my life and make the changes I want, instead of running. (It all just came full circle and I didn’t even mean for it to.)

I’m embracing my life and…

I’m turning in my running shoes, just like in Runaway Bride!!!

I just looked outside to see if Richard Gere is out there.  He actually is, but he’s aged QUITE A BIT since that movie came out in 1999, so I shut the door and locked it.

What about you?  What is it that you’ve wanted to do for forever and keep putting off? I’d love to hear about it here on the blog or here on Facebook.

No more excuses. We get one life. Let’s decide right here and now to not excuse it away.

To Be Seen

June 14, 2019 / / 0 Comments

The other night, I was feeling so flat.  My girls left earlier that morning for their weekly 3 night stretch with their dad.  I’m always low that first day they’re away. I haven’t figured out how to be a part time mom yet or much of anything about single life.  This crap is challenging.

I called my mom and asked her to accompany me to a laundromat while I washed my comforter.  We talked while I watched the suds and flower comforter swirl around in the oversized machine.  

“I think I missed my calling as a laundromat attendant.”

My mom laughed.

She’s a retired therapist.  We talked about her new apartment, my kids, our spiritual journey, laundry…

On our way to get ice cream afterward, I told her that I felt like I was being a big baby because I can’t seem to move beyond all of these feelings of loss and grief and I know there are people with major problems and mine pale in comparison.

She posed this question. “Imagine you lost your leg.  Would that hurt?”

I’m sure I said something like, “Yeah.  Of course.”

“And then you met someone who lost both of their legs.  Would that make the loss of your own leg any less painful?”

She then listed some of the painful events I’ve experienced in my life, from my Dad’s illness over the course of my childhood and his passing, all the way up to my marital problems and the end of that relationship.  She listed the concerns that weigh on me daily and the struggles I’m currently facing and then commended me on being a survivor.

While this didn’t make my concerns vanish, I walked away from the visit feeling loved and seen.  

To Be Seen

To be seen is huge.  There are a few conversations that stand out in my memory where someone told me that they saw me and it really had an impact on me.

The phrase To Be Seen keeps running through my mind, but really To Be Acknowledged is probably an easier way to express what I’m trying to say.

I feel like, especially in a marriage, one of the biggest desires either spouse has is to have their efforts acknowledged and to feel appreciated.  Everyone is doing their part to take care of the relationship, household, and family, but those efforts most often go unseen, unappreciated.

Even outside of a marriage, what about in the workplace?  Doesn’t everyone want to be seen and appreciated for their contribution?  Don’t employees want their bosses to value the work they do and all the money they make for the company?    

What about in any relationship ever?  Parents and children, friends, you name it.  We all just want to be valued.

So let’s do that for each other.  Let’s SEE the woman behind the cash register, the man at the drive thru window, our co workers, our significant others, our children…our parents.

Just a thought.  Take it or leave it.  I hope you take it and I also hope that you can feel that even though I can’t physically see you, I SEE YOU.  I know that you’re out there today, doing what you do, with your whole heart for the people you love. I SEE YOU.

Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there.

No One is Coming to Save Me

May 12, 2019 / / 4 Comments

That Was Then

When Jason moved out of the house two years ago, my friend Joe said, “You’re going to be a different person in a year.”  He was referring to the “roller coaster” of emotions and changes that come with separation, divorce, and finding your place in the world.  I didn’t believe him at all. I was who I’d always been and I was determined to stay that way. Joe was well into his own “roller coaster” ride and much to my dismay, knew exactly what he was talking about.

In 2011, I experienced a BOOM in my personal development journey.  It was like an emotional Renaissance. I felt so ALIVE…so excited to be growing…to be thinking invigorating, life changing thoughts.

2012 brought the first separation and heartbreak. I tried to maintain the positive attitude, but I was in crisis.  I used what I’d learned from the previous year to stay afloat. That’s all I did. It’s basically where I found myself this morning, looking at my surroundings, overwhelmed and in tears. Actually I know that I’ve regressed back into a victim mindset.  At some point, I laid my POWER at my feet and have stood by helplessly, waiting for someone…anyone to come along, pick it up, and place it back in my hands. Friends have tried to tell me it’s there, but I didn’t believe them. There’s no way it would still be where I laid it down. I never even looked down to see if they were telling me the truth.

Stuck in the Muck

Over the last couple of years, I’ve grieved.  I’ve experienced intense loneliness.  I’ve been afraid. I’ve been immobilized. I’ve felt hopeless.  I’ve made choices I regret. I’ve turned into someone I don’t recognize.  I’m afraid to run into people from my past because I don’t want them to see what a mess my life is.  

I feel like a baby grown up. I don’t even know where to begin or what to do to save myself. I’ve just been surviving all these years. I’ve stayed trapped in my head with all of these negative thoughts bullying me around day in and day out.

What I hear all day are words like, “Failure…hopeless situation…incapable…impossible…lonely…all alone…”

In the words of my friend Rachelle, “What the crap?!”

On a particularly rough day last fall, I recognized that my thoughts weren’t exactly working for me. I was having trouble snapping out of my funk. Music wasn’t helping lift my mood, so I turned to The Happier Podcast for a dose of positivity.  Gretchen Rubin and Liz Craft feel like old friends at this point. They helped me through a dark time, but it wasn’t enough. My POWER was still lying at my feet.

Some time around Christmas,  my friend Jeri gave me the book 40 Days to a Joy-Filled Life.

This Is Now

Between the podcast, the book, heart to heart conversations with Bill Cumming and Linda Pritcher, and the ongoing love and support from my tribe, this morning I looked down at my feet and was delighted to see that my POWER was still there, waiting for me to pick it back up. Kind of like Dorothy’s ruby red slippers. I had it all along.

While friends and family can cheer me on and hold my hand when the days seem dark and scary, they can’t do this hard work  for me. I see again, like I did in 2011 when I decided that the victim mindset was no way to live, that no one is coming to save me.

With my POWER firmly in my grasp, I still don’t see HOW this is all going to work out, but I have hope that it will. HOPE.

From time to time, I catch this beautiful vision for my POWERFUL woman life.  

A life where I–

  • Indulge in creative projects
  • Think outside the box
  • Am fearless
  • Am a good support system for my children, emotionally AND financially
  • Have confidence and embrace my individuality
  • Believe the impossible for myself and others
  • Love with my whole heart (including myself)
  • Am fully alive and present
  • Have overflowing peace and joy
  • Have an inviting home
  • Have enough and then some to share

I won’t have time to worry about whether or not there’s a partner to share the journey with. If one should happen to join me down the road, great.  If not, great– because I will truly be happy in this life I will have created for myself.

Action Makes Traction

I have to guard my thoughts and words.  I can’t say, “Victim. Broken. Hopeless,” and expect to see strength, healing, and success.

I’m not stuck.  This isn’t how the story ends.  I know this because…MEMES. Memes don’t lie.

I’m ready to make traction.  I’m done being a victim. I own this life.  I own my choices past and present. I own my POWER. I’m moving out of my own way.

This week I’m going to set specific goals so I can track my actions and one day find myself in my vision, looking back on this day with a happy heart.

Even if I don’t make it…if I die next week, I’ll have lived fully until then, proving that happiness is in the journey, not the destination.  Again…Memes don’t lie.

As the gurus say, “Onward.”

And some say, “Onward and upward.”

Thank you for reading.  Thank you for being part of my tribe and for allowing me to be part of yours.

Much Love,

Sarah

If you’ve survived the “roller coaster” and have your feet firmly planted back on solid ground, I’d love to hear your best advice for keeping my hands and feet inside the cart at all times and making it back in one piece. You can share that right here or message/leave a comment over on Facebook. This site probably isn’t the most user friendly at this point (especially on a smart phone.) I’ll work on that.

Something New

March 15, 2019 / / 0 Comments

“Now I’m going to write something new.”

As I typed the words into the Facebook messenger box, where I’ve done the majority of my writing the last couple of years, I felt a rush of energy.

Now, I’m going to write something new.

A few years ago, I declared I would be like Hemingway.

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” -Ernest Hemingway

For whatever reason, I’ve still been extremely guarded with what I share.  So guarded that I haven’t been sharing at all. Some of that is to protect my mom.  I love that woman a lot and if I share where I’m at in my thinking and the mistakes I’ve made along the way, she’ll surely worry herself sick.

She and I had a conversation about it one night. I stood by her bed and told her how much I admired other writers who write from their hearts. Mom’s thought was that being guarded is responsible. I’m not fully convinced.  

I realize I don’t need to run amuck and write my personal tabloid, but I do need to be true to who I am.  If that means an overshare here or there to drive home a point or connect with other humans, so be it.

Part of my holding back is because my story is entwined with other peoples’ stories and I want to respect their privacy.

Part of this guardedness is self preservation.  I don’t want haters and trolls puking their wrath on me.

I’m going to have to get over most of this if I’m ever going to be transparent.

I love transparency.  It’s so PURE. It’s so necessary. I appreciate people who live this way. I’m going to work on not being so afraid and when the time is right, I’ll share my mess.

“If you’re going to share widely, make sure you share from your scars, not from your open wounds.” -Glennon Doyle

I almost had myself convinced I’d forgotten how to write.

Now, I’m going to write something new.  

That statement feels like a fresh start.  I’m not just sitting down to write a new post tonight.  I can decide right now to create something new with my life.  

I wrote a post when my ex and I were separating about how my life was going to be different this time as compared to our separation in 2012.  You can read This Time It’s Going To Be Different here.

If I’m being honest, life hasn’t gone according to plan.  I had some great goals back then, but I didn’t keep them in view and ended up losing sight of my vision.

Maybe…maybe I don’t want to write something new tonight.  Maybe I want to focus on what’s already been written…because all of that was and still is my heart’s desire.  And I really believe I can make it happen.

Now I’m going to write something new…  

The Obvious Choice

January 30, 2019 / / 0 Comments

Here’s the sitch.  I’ve let my chaotic home, the story of what was, and the story I’ve made up about what my life is now, dominate my brain.  I wander through many days feeling good and sorry for myself.

The reality is that some of those, what once felt hopeless, circumstances are now improving.  Instead of being grateful, I’ve continued to mourn about what hasn’t improved…what I can’t control.

So today, I have a choice.  I can use Self Care thoughts to get myself present, and to get pumped up about my future…or I can carry on as I’ve done for the last however long, and continue to suffer and struggle.

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” -Jim Rohn

The choice seems obvious.

If I leave all of this moving forward with my life business up to how I feel when I wake up, I’ll continue to stay stuck.  It’s up to me to get disciplined about daily Self Care so I can break out of this rut and live out days grounded in peace, even when life is spiraling out of control around me.  I’ve experienced this tranquility before and I know it’s possible again.

“We think we are experiencing reality but what we are really experiencing is our thinking.” -Michael Neill

Below is a quick refresher on the 4 main SELF CARE THOUGHTS I mainly use with an invite to check out WHAT EVERY PERSON CAN DO.  Be sure to let me know if you decide to go through the course and I’ll add you to the private group for extra support.

Here’s to MORE JOY, MORE PEACE, and MORE POWER for all of us!

Much love,

Sarah B
I Am A Powerful Woman

Dear Powerful Woman

June 17, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear POWERFUL Woman,

You AMAZE me in ALL THE WAYS! 

I see such strength in you.  You’re a freakin role model for single women and single moms everywhere…even the not single women.  You’re a role model for all of us.

As a young mom, you worked your butt off to provide for your girls.  Now you’re raising your grandchildren.

You own your own home, which you’ve remodeled and worked on yourself…I can’t believe you tore a wall down and redid your floors!

I have no idea how you manage to work 12 hour shifts, keep your home clean and organized…and your pool water clear!  And all of this…all of this you do on a budget. You’ve worked hard to be on top of your finances and that’s impressive too.

It’s one thing to be able to accomplish all of that, but I see more.  I see you actively trying to meet the emotional needs of your grand kids.  Working on behavior…doing EVERYTHING in your power to have a good relationship with them and have them grow up to be well adjusted men.

I don’t see you looking to men to fix problems in your life.  I don’t see different men walking in and out of your door to fill the loneliness–the stupid loneliness that causes sane women do make insane choices.  I know you’re tired and you’d like a partner, but you’re not settling for anything less than what you deserve.

And one of the things I like best is that you model Self Care.  You make time to relax every night by soaking your tired body in the tub.  You bought the camper so that you could get out and enjoy your family. You didn’t wait until some day when everything sorts itself out.  Some day when the drama dies down. You did it now and it’s been fun watching you get out and enjoy yourself.

I don’t know how you do ALL of this and make time to be one of the best friends I’ve ever had…and most of the time, you do it with a smile on your face and laughing.

I remember my brother in law telling me that he saw me.  He saw me working hard and trying. That meant the world to me…to be seen by someone.

Thanks for being such a great example.  I hope to follow in your steps…to be strong for myself and for my kids, to do the right thing, instead of what feels good momentarily.  YOU ROCK, POWERFUL WOMAN. I see you.

I’ve been thinking about writing letters to the women who inspire me for a couple of weeks now, so thanks for taking time to read this first one.  If you want to honor a POWERFUL Woman in your life, feel free to leave a shout out in the comments here or over on Facebook.  I’d be happy to share them with the Powerful Woman community. 

I Want To Be Drunk All The Time

August 5, 2017 / / 0 Comments

I want to be drunk ALL THE TIME.

First off…my mom raised me better than this.

Sarah Boucher | I Am A Powerful Woman | Rebel

(The picture is from The Greatest Victory and the first video I made…Lol)

My life is probably too much of an open book, but I’ve said in the recent past I’m going to be true to who I am, and if that means some people need to walk away, I’ll learn to deal.

Last night after work, my friend Amador and I went out for drinks. I’ve never understood the appeal of alcohol or why anyone would ever want to get drunk and deal with a hangover the next day.

Jason started drinking beer daily before we separated. He didn’t get drunk. It was just annoying to me because of the expense. I judged him pretty hard and even counted bottles. The EXPENSE!

When I quit being a nag, I’d taste the different beer he brought home and tease him that it all tasted like saltine crackers. He’d sit down with a pack of saltine crackers and drink a beer.  Kind of redundant in my opinion.

Since the separation I’ve dabbled in different fruity drinks and had a buzz 3 or 4 times. I’ve wondered at what point a person is considered drunk. I even Googled it one night with my bottle of coconut rum.

Well I found out last night. I had 2 Bahama Mama’s on an empty stomach. As I sat there laughing and thoroughly enjoying myself I said, “I used to feel like this all the time.”

I did! I used to feel THAT in love with life on a regular basis even in the middle of crappy circumstances – very little money, a marriage falling apart, the stress of raising a house full of kids, and trying to find myself.

I don’t really want to be drunk all the time. My tiny hangover this morning helped me recognize that, but I do want to get back into the head space where I experience that drunk on life feeling.

Life has been such a turd this last decade that I truly believe it will never be as I would have it, but that’s neither here nor there. Even in the middle of the occasional disappointments and chaos, I get to choose to feel defeated or to look around at my blessings and make a plan for the day that will leave me feeling giddy about life.

If I did it once, I can do it again.

I called Bill yesterday. He asked me how I was. I teared up and said, “Not great. I should’ve called a couple of months ago.”

I poured out my little broken heart. He offered reassurance as to my humanness and told me to, “Get the (air) hug,” and I told him I’d call him when I got off work.

Forgetting my intent to call, I got drunk instead.

I’m glad I did. To momentarily feel such elation was the perfect reminder that I didn’t used to need alcohol to accomplish that feeling.

I called Bill this morning to wrap up yesterday’s conversation. I told him about my drunken revelation and said I realize my lack of discipline where daily self care is concerned is the missing link between the way I’ve experienced life recently compared to 5 years ago..

He ended the call by saying, “We’re friends for life,” and reminded me that he’s here for me any time.

I so wish YOU had the opportunity to know Bill too. If you did, he’d make the same statements of love and support to you, but you know me instead so I’ll have to share what he’s taught me as I relearn it.

For me to move forward and not be a complete victim of my thinking as I’ve been the last couple of years, there’s 2 main ingredients.

The 1st thought to let in is that I’m loved unconditionally by at least one person. (I’m blessed enough to have more than one person love me this way.) By letting in that unconditional love means just that and it isn’t going anywhere, no matter what crazy choices I make or don’t make, I’ve been able to experience that my value in the world is indeed undisputed, as is yours and everyone else’s. I forget from time to time. This unconditional love is also a pretty great example of God’s love for us.  (Check out the book Real Love.)

The 2nd step is to reflect on a few Self Care thoughts to get myself grounded as my day starts.

  1. Everything is a miracle. (Life is a gift.)
  2. Everything is interconnected. (Every word we speak and action we take makes a difference- good or bad.)
  3. The ONLY thing I have ANY control over is how I CHOOSE to be in the world today. (As much as I’d like to orchestrate the events of my life, it just doesn’t work that way. But I get to choose how to react to what life throws my way.)

And then a 4th thought that’s been useful for me is to be gentle with myself, to treat myself with same love and compassion I show everybody else.  I really need to remember this one especially as of late. I’ve been ridiculously hard on myself and I wouldn’t dare be this way with anybody else.

So life is not as I’d have it here and now, but there is still MUCH to be thankful for and I can only do what I can to make each day a little brighter for myself and others.

Thanks for the reminder Bahama Mama!

I’m looking forward to going through life tipsy on LOVE and all things good.

You can experience the goodness of Bill’s work through his online course What Every Person Can Do.  It’s the next best thing to knowing him personally 🙂

If you have questions about the online course or if you’d be interested in going through the one on one course with me, you can message me.

Don’t Rain on My Parade

July 8, 2017 / / 0 Comments

There have been times in this 6 year journey of learning to love myself and stepping into my power, where I’ve had to be my biggest cheerleader.  Those closest to me- my mom, husband, and even close friends didn’t understand what I was up to.  Why was I spending so much time blogging and Facebooking?  Why would I want to pay a coach to “be my friend” when there were friends who loved me and would tell me like it was?

That was the problem though.  They were going to tell me like it was, according to their limited vision for my life.  They were going to tell me the practical, safe, normal way to do life.  They couldn’t see what I could see for myself.

NO THANK YOU!

Don’t Rain on My Parade!

barbara streissand/i am a powerful woman/ sarah boucher/ don't rain on my parade/ funny girl

There will always be naysayers, but it’s shocking when it’s from those you ABSOLUTELY KNEW would be there to cheer you on.  In my case, the people that didn’t get it originally do now, but that’s not always the case.

All of this to say, you have to believe in yourself.  You have to hold tight to your visions, even when you don’t know when or how you’re going to carry them out.  Don’t give up on YOU!

There have more recently been times when I’ve lost my vision, my focus, my passion – like this entire past year and a half.  Thankfully there are people, like my friend Caroline, who have helped me see those dreams that have become blurry and speak POWERFUL words into my life.  Caroline is a brilliant writer and as encouraging as it is to read her words, having an actual conversation with her is the REAL TREAT.  She fires off one uplifting thought after another and I’m blown away by how her mind works.  After a recent conversation about accepting all parts of oneself, even the parts that don’t seem to fit (for example – my inner rebel) she posted this for me.  I wanted to share it with you because I want YOU to accept all the parts of you too.

This POWERFUL WOMAN journey isn’t about one of us having all the answers.  We ALL have lessons to learn from each other.  I hope Caroline’s words encourage you the way they encouraged me.

YOU have to define yourself for yourself.

You know who you are–you have known all along–because you know how you feel inside; you know what makes your bones ache, your blood churn, and your spirit come alive.

Logic is useful in many ways, but it is useless in defining the immeasurable, such as passion, soul, intuition.

Logic can help you make sound decisions, but trusting the intuitive parts of yourself keeps you from oppressing and suppressing the very essence of who YOU were created to be apart from everyone else.

Get off the path logic paved on its own.

Define a whole new path in uncharted territory which demands your intuition to pick up a shovel and help clear the brush.

Trust what you find on that path.

Believe in it.

Dig your truth up from the dirt and brush away all of the dust from its edges.

This is where you find yourself; this is where you free yourself.

Be ready.

When you come to fully realize YOU, you’ll never be able to unsee it.

You’ll cry. You’ll scream. You’ll think, ‘My God, there YOU were all along! Look at how beautiful you are.’

Lightness comes. With the stones of preconceived notions cast aside which served no purpose but to weigh down your pockets.

Calm comes. With self-acceptance. With self-love. With self-gratitude.

Space comes. With acceptance of others. With love for others. With gratitude for others.

Life falls into place. With the universe attracting to you all of those things which speak to your essence, your soul, your truth.

#forSarah

#rosecoloredlensesblog

#iamapowerfulwoman

 

You can follow Caroline on Facebook and read her blog at Rose Colored Lenses.

Sidenote -my ego loves #forSarah. Feel FREE to send encouragement my way and use #forSarah…Lol

A few thoughts to consider and I’d love to discuss if you’d like to leave a comment.

  • Are you being cheered on?
  • Is it time to find a tribe?
  • Do you need to put some distance between you and the naysayers?

Don’t settle for mediocre treatment from anybody…ever!

You deserve respect and love – the same as everybody else.

Thanks so very much for being part of this community!

Much love,

Sarah B

 

Showing Up

June 20, 2017 / / 0 Comments

Showing Up

“You’re doing so well,” my friend Angel said to me the other day. From the outside, I may appear to be handling the separation, full time employment (for the first time in my life), the accident, and pending divorce well, but I’ve actually been struggling the entire time. And so I told her how not well I’ve actually been.

Before Jason moved out, I experienced crippling financial stress, loneliness, and hopelessness in just about every area of my life. I was quite overwhelmed. Even though I pushed for growth or separation (which I feel was an act of self love) my self esteem has taken a blow that’s set me back 10 years, back to before I learned anything about taking care of and loving myself. I’m at square one, only this time I can’t unlearn what I’ve learned.

I will eventually recall how to let thoughts go that don’t serve me and replace them with ones that do. I’ll remember that my value is just as great as yours. I will remember that I have choices available, even when I don’t feel like I do, and that choosing to do nothing is still a choice. I’ll remember that I can create my day. I don’t have to exist, reacting to what life tries to serve me on its mediocre platter. I have more control than what I’ve been able to see the last couple of years.

While I can’t control what happens around me, I can control how I react. I can set about putting events into motion and creating a life that I’m excited to live, instead of moping through the rest of my days, defeated and looking for acceptance and love from others, instead of filling my world with Real Love (check out this book if you haven’t yet.)

I used to power through hard times with such hope, knowing I was okay no matter what, thanks to what I learned from Bill Cumming and What Every Person Can Do.

I feel like I’m writing the same post over and over again. It starts out, “I’m struggling, but this is what I’m doing about it.” I keep saying I’m going to lean on the basics of Self Care and being present. I keep telling myself I’m going to give YOU more of my time, but my focus has been way off.

I have bursts of inspiration and for those brief moments, I feel like I’m capable of implementing the dreams I dreamed 6 years ago, when I first learned that I had more control over my thinking and my life. I had lived as a victim, waiting for someone else to give me step by step instructions on what to do next to have a happier existence. I learned I could be an owner (Thank you, Steve Chandler.) I worked on my thinking. I quit looking to anyone else for my happiness, but I’ve slipped back into a victim mindset. I’ve been crushed by my circumstances. I’ve definitely been looking to others to make me feel worthy and fill the void that separation left behind as a parting gift.

There’s No Perfect Tuesday

My friend Bevin told me years ago that there’s never going to be a perfect Tuesday when I wake up and all the problems are fixed…when I’m fixed. Why do I keep thinking I have to have all of my problems fixed to share with you any more? She also said that we can HAVE IT ALL, just not all at the same time.

This journey was never about me having all the answers or any answers really. It was about having an outlet to share what I was learning, as I was learning it, with a tribe of women…my tribe…our tribe… because the people we love and share our lives with, don’t always get us. They don’t always share our vision and even though they love us, they have the potential to crush our dreams instead of giving us the encouragement to GO FOR IT. But you and I get it. We get each other.

My commitment to you today is to show up in some form EVERY DAY, whether it’s a post like this, a goofy 2 or 3 minute video, Facebook live once a week (which still terrifies me) or a quote and a quick hello.

I’m showing up. Thank you for doing the same.

All my love (my REAL LOVE),
Sarah

 

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