Self Sabotage

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I haven’t been making time to write and the rare moments I sit down to do so, my brain feels all clogged up. I even put off writing by cleaning. That feels bizarre but I also like the results I’m getting.

There are a few reasons that I can see that I’m not writing consistently.

1. Lack of confidence/fear- What if it’s not clever enough, like Marc and Angel who hack everything there is in life to hack? What if it doesn’t provide any value?

2. Perfectionism- I put so much pressure on myself to make sure everything I write is the right combination of words. It takes way too long to compose what should be a quick Facebook post, email, or Birthday card. What takes the average person 2 minutes to write, takes me 10. No joke.

3. Lack of discipline/time management- I can squeeze in 15 or 30 minutes into my now super duper busy schedule. I’m working a full time job now and have about four hours a day to get done what needs to get done. That’s housework, a side job, family time, and writing projects. That’s a pretty tall order, but not impossible. There’s also about an hour in the middle of the night, when I get home from work, that I’m wide awake and have been spending watching Netflix as I get sleepy.

Steve Chandler, the man I credit for flipping the switch on my thinking with his book 100 Ways To Motivate Yourself, sent out this recent email. At first I didn’t connect with it at all, but as I was procrastinating, by doing housework and filling up my four hours with everything but writing, it came back to me and STUCK.

Robert Kegan quotes William Perry, a favorite
teacher of psychology of his at Harvard, “Whenever
someone comes to me for help, I listen very hard and
ask myself, ‘What does this person really want–
and what will they do to keep from getting it?'”

This is a question worth asking ourselves (and our
clients when they come to us for help.)

What do I really want, and what will I do to
keep from getting it?

My first night at work, my trainer asked me what I did before coming to this job. I told him that I’d mostly been a stay at home mom and worked a few part time jobs over the years. I hesitated and then decided to share about the last four years of personal development and my desire to share what’s worked for me with others. He was very curious about the What One Person Can Do program. Each break, he’d ask me to tell him more. As we talked, I knew this program could support him in his situation.

All of that to say, THAT’s one of the things I want to be doing! I want to be spreading the news about THAT program that had a SIGNIFICANT impact on the way I live my life, a life that used to be riddled with worry and stress and is now positive and more often than not, worry free.

There’s still a ton of circumstances I could be freaking out about on a daily basis, but I’ve learned to do what I can and go on to have a VERY enjoyable day, EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF A CRISIS. I WANT THAT FOR EVERYBODY!

Here are the things I have control over, keeping me from having what I want.

1. Lack of confidence–Telling myself I’m not qualified to share. You know, I need some letters behind my name or something. (Side note–I mentioned to my trainer that I know I’m holding myself back because I’ve been “just a mom” for all these years to which he replied, “That probably makes you MORE qualified.” THANKS MISTER!)

2. Perfectionism–If I can’t do this well, because of the lack of letters behind my name, then I might as well not do it at all.

3. Lack of discipline–not writing and sharing daily.

And here are my 3 responses to myself where all of the negativity and holding myself back is concerned.

1. Everybody has something to contribute. We’ve all learned valuable lessons from our experiences. I’ve experienced peace in the middle of times of trouble and that’s not something you learn in college. Someone else can experience stress free times too if I’ll just open my mouth.

2. I need to get started and let GOOD ENOUGH be enough, because I am NEVER going to be perfect and really I don’t want to be. I’ll do my best and have a great time doing so.

3. Make contact daily, even if it’s one small task or a 15 minute writing session.

There are many things that I want and I need to get good and clear on how it all looks, but for now I’m starting with writing more and sharing What One Person Can Do as well as the online version What Every Person Can Do. Wish me luck!

What about you? What do you do to keep yourself from having what you REALLY want? Leave a comment below if you feel like sharing. I’d love to hear from you 🙂

Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there. If you have questions about What One Person Can Do or the online version, email sarahboucher@iamapowerfulwoman.net or bill@oneperson.net with What One Person Can Do in the subject line.

What Every Person Can Do