I Would Never
For someone who judged Ernest Hemingway’s character pretty harshly, I feel like I quote him often in blog posts.
The longer I live, the more I see I’m in no position to judge another person for anything ever. I believe we’re capable of making the same life choices if given the same set of circumstances, decisions that either enrich or bring destruction to our lives.
We tend to sit in judgment of other people based on our experiences, not theirs. We’re all just humans being humans. No one is without reproach.
“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” ― Ernest Hemingway
A Farewell to arms
Are You Broken?
Three years ago, when I was going through an especially tough time, my wise friend, Linda Pritcher posed the question, “Are you broken?”
I felt very broken.
“Do you look at other people and think, ‘They are broken.'”
My answer was no.
I don’t see anyone as broken beyond repair. They aren’t broken, just a little cracked.
This made me think about the Japanese art form Kintsugi, where the cracks in a once-perfect pottery piece are filled with gold, making that pottery one of a kind and more valuable than it was to begin with.
We are kind of like pottery. We’re born perfect and collect cracks as we grow.
Conversations with Linda always leave me uplifted. That day was no exception. For as long as I held onto the thought that I was just like everyone else, I was able to show myself grace. Over the years I ended up forgetting this truth.
I’m going to write down I AM NOT BROKEN. I’m going to stick it somewhere I can be reminded of often.
Bringing It Full Circle
I was having a discussion with a friend about some messy situations in my life. I’ve felt so broken over the last few months. So hopeless. This stronger at the broken places quote came to mind.
Through personal examination of the quote and my previous feelings of accusation against Ernie H, I’ve discovered that Sarah Boucher and Ernest Hemingway are more alike than we are different. I’m no better than him. When put to the test, I could easily take some of the same paths he took if I’d had his childhood, teenage experiences, friends, marriages, so on and so forth.
Someone in my shoes would’ve made similar choices as I have.
If I were in your circumstances, I’d most likely make many of the same choices you’ve made.
You and I are the same. We are not broken people, just cracked, and there’s a neverending supply of gold to fill said cracks, to make us stronger at our broken places.
My mom told me years ago, “You are neither more valuable nor less valuable than anyone else.”
Bill Cumming, my friend, and mentor would later reinforce this lesson. I would encourage you to visit Bill’s and Linda’s websites. They are both wonderful resources.
Oh, and Mr. Hemingway, I feel I owe you an apology.
Ernest Hemingway, I see you.
