Tag Archives: overwhelm

Struggle Less

Sarah Boucher

Struggle Less

Do you feel like all you have ever known is struggle? Even though you know you are blessed, at the end of the day, you still feel like you are struggling–struggling to live peacefully with your spouse, to be consistent with your parenting, to encourage your children to get along, to stay on top of everything at work, to keep the house and yard in shape, to pay the bills, to make ends meet, to ever get ahead?

What if you woke up one morning and life no longer felt like such a challenge? What if all of the circumstances above remained the same but when combined, they no longer had the power to unravel you?

A couple of years ago, I had the honor to go through a 12 week program called What One Person Can Do. Grounded in loving kindness and personal responsibility this program allowed me to discover my value, the power that exists in each of us, and the ability I have to produce a joyful life of contribution and create an atmosphere where others are able to experience that same ability in their own lives. This program has been conducted with individuals and organizations ranging from school systems, Job Corps programs, the Maine State Prison System, YMCAs and corporations for 30 years by Bill Cumming and individuals who he has trained to do this work, known as conveners. I learned a great deal from that conversation, ended up going through the training to become a convener, and am pleased to share one of those life changing lessons with you.

One year ago, my father passed away from complications of Multiple Sclerosis. One month later, my husband and I separated.

Separated

I was blindsided. Although he continued to support us financially, for eight months I was a single mother to our five children. Because of the foundation that was laid through the What One Person Can Do conversation, I was able to walk through these painful circumstances with more equanimity than I would have otherwise been able to do. I still went through shock. I still cried on and off for a couple of months. I still made mistakes trying to readjust my life plan, but I survived. I took my life one day at a time. I did not get out in my future and let fear of the unknown take over.

Those of us raised in America, with televisions in our homes, have been taught that it is an outside in world. We have been taught that the right combination of the right possessions, the right job, and the right partner will make us happy. The truth is that happiness is ALWAYS an inside job. It is not our circumstances that make us happy or unhappy, but our thinking about our circumstances. Author Michael Neill says, “We think we are experiencing reality but what we are really experiencing is our thinking.”

So how do we get our thinking about our less than perfect circumstances to improve?
The answer is to develop a daily Self Care routine that includes visiting these four thoughts for a few minutes before you start each day.

1. Life is a gift. The only moment we have any guarantee of is this one.

2. We are ALL interconnected.

3. The ONLY thing I can control today is the way I CHOOSE to BE in the world.

4. Do the best you can and be gracious to yourself.

Self Care is a personal practice and you have to figure out what works for you, but the core ingredients are these four thoughts. Spend a few minutes thinking, meditating, or praying about them and then follow that time up by reading a couple of pages from one of these books that point back to the Self Care thoughts.

Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love & Fulfilling Relationships

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)

Living Buddha, Living Christ 10th Anniversary Edition

A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

My Grandfather’s Blessings: Stories of Strength, Refuge, and Belonging

By making Self Care part of my daily routine, these simple but powerful thoughts changed the way I experienced my life. My life consisted of the same circumstances but my thinking about those events changed.

Thinking about the gift of each day, the brevity of life, helped me become more present in my life. One of my favorite quotes is by Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project. “The days are long but the years are short.” This life is speeding by and I want to be aware of and cherish each day and person I come in contact with.

Every person on this Earth is interconnected. Our actions each day have a ripple effect. One of the first life changing lessons I learned from Bill is that we don’t have to go out and look to make a difference in the world. We already are making a difference. Is it a positive one or a negative one?

I do not have the ability to control anyone (spouse or children included) or anything (broken appliances, vehicles, or the weather) but myself. Once I stopped trying, I experienced less stress, less worry, and more peace.

Learning to be gracious with myself, recognizing that I am doing the best I can each day, accepting those efforts, letting go of the mistakes or shortcomings, and trying again tomorrow has been great for me in conquering feelings of low self esteem and inferiority to others who appear to have the game of life down perfectly.

Yesterday a friend said, “Who wouldn’t want a family, a school, or a business with people in it who have mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation?” Those qualities happen to be the definition of equanimity.

You will still experience off days. They happen. By developing your own Self Care routine, most days you can be that person pointing the way to less stress and less struggle for those in your circle of influence.

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Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to find their power daily at
I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there. If you are interested in learning more about What One Person Can Do or one on one coaching, you can contact Sarah here.

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Are You Walking Through A Storm?

storms of life | I Am A Powerful Woman

Are You Walking Through A Storm?

Nothing you or I do can EVER effect the forces of nature or the unpleasant circumstances and trials we will walk through in our lives. All we can do in the midst of any storm, is take a deep breath and remember that in this moment today, we are okay. We are breathing and our life is still a gift. We have survived many storms in the past, maybe not this ferocious, but this storm, just like every other storm, will eventually pass and the sun WILL shine again.

Perhaps this storm will leave behind a horrible path of destruction. If that is the case, all we can do, is take a deep breath, and make a choice. Are we going to let the devastation consume us along with its other victims or are we going to continue to breathe, be thankful for the good things that remain, and move forward POWERFULLY one day at a time?

The ONLY thing I can control today is how I CHOOSE TO BE in the world.

My heart is FLOODED with love and concern for you when I think about the storms you are seeking shelter from today. All I can do from here is take a deep breath and tell you how much I care for you. You ARE truly a POWERFUL woman. I am amazed by the strength we were all created with that gets us through the storms of life.

Don’t try to face this storm alone. Reach out for support. Remember the POWER of Self Care. One day when this storm is a memory, you will be able to support another POWERFUL woman, feeling scared and alone, who is going through a storm of her own.

Self Care is the resource that has helped me through major trials in my own life, especially within the last year. I love to learn from other women. What thoughts, actions, people, or resources have been a comfort to you in times of trial? Let me know below.

I love you!
Sarah

P.S. Feel free to share this post with anyone you know who is walking through a storm.

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Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to find their power at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there.

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Are YOU Fed Up?

Are you fed up | I Am A Powerful Woman | Stress | Overwhelm | Fear | Worry

Are YOU Fed Up?

I am looking for 5 women who are fed up with feelings of overwhelm, fear, worry, and low self esteem and are ready to kick all of that negativity to the curb. It’s hard to imagine life without all of that inner turmoil, but I have experienced life both ways, and know that it is possible to struggle less even when outward circumstances are rough.

I will spend 2 hours a week for 12 weeks with five of you, starting July 22nd having one of the most powerful conversations you will ever have. You will leave this 12 week program KNOWING that you are loved, valued, and capable of creating a meaningful, joyous life for yourself and also that you are able to create an environment where those around you experience their own ability to produce the same result in their lives.

The cost of this 12 week program, plus daily access to me Monday through Friday, via a private fb support group, is $740.

In addition, I have asked Bill Cumming, the creator of this powerful conversation, if he would kick off our 12 weeks together in a group call, as well as a call at the end of the 12 weeks, to make sure I delivered the goods. When Bill works with clients in corporations, he charges $800 for an hour of his time so this is an incredible bonus for all of us!

If you are fed up, ready to break out of the daily struggle you have been experiencing, and commit to a more peaceful future of your creating, then send me your five paragraph application…Your who, what, what, why, and when.

Who are you? — tell me a little bit about yourself.

What is it you struggle with most?

What do you REALLY want your life to look like?

WHY should you be one of the first five women to go through this 12 week conversation with me?

And…

When is the best fit for you…Monday, Wednesday, or Friday between 9:30-3:30 pm ET, for your weekly appointment? It is super important that you are free of all distraction during these calls. If I can manage it with five…

Send your letter to sarahboucher@iamapowerfulwoman.net

I will review the applications and contact you to set up an introductory call before our July 22nd kick off call with Bill. If 30 people submit applications, I can put you on a waiting list for the next 12 weeks, or if you are READY to have this conversation with another convener before then, let me know that in your letter as well. I will do my best to get you connected with someone.

As a busy mother of five children, I simply do not have time for a full client load. My space is very limited and I want to give the BEST support possible to those who sign on to go through this conversation with me.

I ABSOLUTELY love supporting other women in seeing possibilities. I’m THRILLED to be starting this journey with those of you who are ready to invest in yourself and serious about changing your experience of life.

Love,
Sarah Boucher

Sarah Boucher

Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to find their power at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there.

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Overcome Your Insecurities!

I was born insecure–well not really, but it seems like I was always that way.  I wanted to be accepted by other people.  At a slumber party, as a ten year old, a friend told me I smelled like strawberries and cigarette smoke.  I was so embarrassed and sad.  As soon as I got home I made a major effort to keep my bedroom door closed so my clothes wouldn’t smell like smoke ever again.  When I was about 14, a girl hollered down the hallway when she saw my white white legs, “Hey Sarah!  That’s why they have tanning beds!”  I don’t believe I ever wore shorts to school again and still don’t like them too much.  With the 100+ degree temperatures we have had this weekend if I owned a pair, I would be wearing them for sure though.

After the birth of my fourth child, I went through a depression that lasted about a year, not as bad as postpartum but unpleasant nevertheless.  I was completely overwhelmed with a new baby, homeschooling my 2 oldest, and keeping up with a toddler.  My little boys got used to the frequent melt downs and knew that when I had one, we wouldn’t be homeschooling that day.  They started looking forward to their free days.  One day I was sitting in my bed crying to a friend on the phone, and it occurred to me that I was NOT functioning.

I hit rock bottom emotionally when my husband and I almost separated a year later.  I remember feeling like I was NOTHING.  I knew I was blessed with healthy kids and a husband who loved me and wanted to work things out, but all of it threw me for a big loop.  It’s handy to have a mom whose day job is a therapist.  I called her and asked her if there was a way to work on my confidence.  She told me about The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

The first agreement is be impeccable with your word.  Don’t use your words to hurt yourself or others.

I later learned how our mind believes that what we tell it is true.

About two and a half years ago I really started applying the first agreement in my life.  I got sick of the self abuse I was putting myself through every time I made a mistake.  I remember giving myself a verbal lashing and stopping myself in mid sentence.  “No.  That’s not true.  I am a powerful woman.”  I made a choice to be nice to myself that day–to change the message.  When I caught myself being hateful, I would correct myself.  It took time, but it worked!!!

You would not stand by and watch anyone else being verbally abused.  Do not allow yourself to be abused either!  You ARE a POWERFUL woman!  Love and honor yourself!  You are POWERFUL and worthy of being treated like the POWERFUL woman that you are every day by YOU!  Set a good example for the little girls and women around you!

Watch this video You Are A Powerful Woman! and then share this post to share the POWER!  Sending love and POWERFUL thoughts your way! Sarah Boucher

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