Powerful Relationships Create Powerful Women
By Heather Grant
“Non nobis solum nati sumus.”
(We are not born for ourselves alone.)
Often times when we seek out and are nurturing relationships, we are looking for someone to make us happy. This seems to be the world’s view of dating, marriage, and friendships. Find someone who can make me happy! The funny thing is to become truly happy we have to become less focused on me and more focused on the person we are trying to nurture a relationship with.
Sometimes as women we sit around waiting. Waiting to be asked on a date or for our husband to get a clue and bring us flowers. We wait for our kids to start treating us with respect, or for our friends to ask us out to lunch or give us a call to see how we are doing. Instead of waiting, it is time to take the power back into our own hands and begin doing and creating the life and relationships that we desire. In order to become powerful women we need to create powerful relationships.
Before I started my own business, I was a stay at home mom and I was totally wrapped up in my own life and challenges. When I began my own business, I was amazed at how many strong relationships and deep meaningful friendships I did NOT have! I was so wrapped up in my own life and problems that I didn’t reach out to other women in sincere friendship and support. Through building my own business and with lots of hard work and personal development, I am happy to say I have completely changed all that.
There is an object lesson I love. Take a single pencil and you can break it in half easily but when you bundle several pencils together they become unbreakable. They are strong and powerful when supported. Each of us needs those loving relationships in our lives and it is up to us to use the power within ourselves and create them. Sometimes this is easy and sometimes it requires us to sacrifice what we want and what we think will make us happy and to put someone else’s happiness first. Let me give you an example.
My husband and I try to go on dates regularly, and even after being married for several years, we struggle to come up with things to do on date night that we are both happy with. We finally settled on a compromise. He gets to choose the date one week, and then the next time we go out, it is my turn. He usually chooses to go fishing or hiking or something “manly”. I usually choose to eat out and watch a chick flick.
The fact is, I hate fishing! You get wet, cold and muddy. You usually don’t catch fish so it is extremely boring. Then, if by sheer luck, my hubby happens to catch a fish, he gives it to me to hold, so he can continue fishing. The fish flails and flings mud and slime all over me and scares me to death. Then it dies, which breaks my heart, and he cleans all the guts and blood out. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! I get eaten by mosquitoes and end up cold, muddy, and smelling all fishy-like. The funny thing is, that as much as I HATE fishing, I LOVE fishing with my husband because I know he loves it. He carries me across the river in the deep parts, and the look on his face when he actually catches a fish is truly priceless! He is so proud of himself! He holds that fish up high for me to see and gets this whole caveman attitude of, “See woman, me catch fish, we eat fish, I am man.” It is hilarious! I get the best feeling spending time with him when I am doing the things that I know he enjoys and makes him the happiest. My best dates are the ones when he chooses what we get to do. But, please, please, don’t tell him, because I want to eat out and watch a chick flick now and again too!
We need to quit waiting for our spouse or friends to spoil us and make us happy. Instead we need to try to spoil them and make them happy. The truth is that when you do this YOU find true joy and happiness! Instead of looking for business prospects to make us money, we need to seek to serve and support those we do business with and add value to their lives. When we do this it goes full circle and blesses our own lives financially.
To find true happiness we have to become less focused on me and more focused on the person we are trying to nurture a relationship with. Bring that hubby a treat to his work or slip him a kind note or text. Take your children to the park or read them that favorite book again and then again. Message that girl friend you have lost touch with, or better yet, give her a call and catch up. We can all think of a friend we love and have lost touch with. We lead fast paced, busy lives so we have to make it a priority to place a phone call or two and schedule that lunch date or girls night out. It is time to take power back into our own hands and begin doing and creating the life and relationships that we desire. As we seek to serve and make other people happy,we find true joy, satisfaction, and happiness.
About the Author
Heather loves reading, writing, and public speaking. She works as a wellness advocate selling doTERRA essentials oils. She focuses on helping people with physical, emotional, and financial health and well being. Heather married Jarom Grant, on August 2, 2002, in the Manti LDS temple for time and all eternity. They reside in Duchesne, Utah, with their five children. To find out more about Heather’s story or about her work as a wellness advocate check out this link.