Help!

Do you really want help?

Do You Really Want Help?

I am at a place in life where I am being offered a lot of help.  I am surrounded by people who love and care about me.  That’s a GREAT thing!

“Let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do to help.  I mean it.”

“Do you need any help?”

“What can we do to help?”

I feel extremely loved and grateful for all of the offers of “help” but I have also learned a thing or two about help over the past year and I would like to share it with you now, by picking apart the lyrics to The Beatles song Help.

Help, I need somebody
Help, not just anybody
Help, you know I need someone, help  
The truth is, I don’t want help.  I don’t need help and The Beatles didn’t NEED help either.  The word help implies that I am not capable of doing what needs to be done to improve my mood or situation, whether it is a bad day, sickness, a death, lack of money, what have you.  
Help means..
“I NEED you to fix this for me.”  
“I’m helpless.”
When I was younger so much younger than today
I never needed anybody’s help in any way I totally wanted help up until a couple of years ago.  I spent my adult life waiting for someone to swoop in and show me how to be a productive member of society.  I felt incapable of doing anything well (parenting, housework, homeschooling.)  I had zero confidence, and I wanted to be rescued. 
But now these days are gone, I’m not so self assured 
Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors
Help me if you can, I’m feeling down  Yikes! No one can help you feel better.  Your experience of life comes from your thinking.  Happiness always comes from inside of YOU!  No one can help you PERIOD! And–as much as you would like to, you cannot “help” anyone either.  You might be thinking of people in your life that you are currently “helping” and be completley irritated that I am saying your efforts are futile.  YOU cannot HELP or SAVE anyone.  But there is something you can do! 
And I do appreciate you being round While I don’t want anyone attempting to help me, I know the offers of assistance are coming from a place of loving kindness and I am thankful to have such wonderful caring people surrounding me during my current trial.
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won’t you please, please help me I want something better than help. 
I want your SUPPORT!  Stick with me.  There is a difference.
And now my life has changed in oh so many ways
My independence seems to vanish in the haze 
But every now and then I feel so insecure
I know that I just need you like I’ve never done before
The last four lines of the song are the difference between help and support.
And The Difference Is…
The last four lines say this.  
I need you to help me.
I am needy.
I am an energy taker.  
Help me.
I will completely drain you of your time and energy.
I am insecure.  
Fix me.  
I have been that person.  I have been the energy drainer.  I am NOT interested in being that woman again.   
Support is a completely different experience than help, to the person on the receiving end.  Support is empowering.  Support means that the person assisting in whatever capacity acknowledges the POWER of the person who happens to be knocked down at the time.  Support is mutual.  The person receiving support is able to in the next moment give support back to the supporter. 
 
Support is 100% belief in another person.  Belief in their strengths and in their ability to rise above their obstacles and soar.
  
There is no feeling greater than the 100% support of another person–in my opinion. More of us would follow our dreams and reach our full potential if we would only believe in and support each other this way instead of trying to help or fix each other.
Was there a time when someone got behind you 100% and you soared?  Come find me on fb and tell me about it.  I love to be inspired by others!