Tag Archives: thinking

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

I’ve felt blocked for months.  I’m going to share and see what happens.  That was my original intent anyway on this journey to personal power.  There are times when I feel like I’m supposed to have answers for my life that I don’t have and so I get quiet.  

Good, bad, ugly…I’m going to say where I am and how it’s affecting me.  You’ll either judge me and go away, or you’ll relate, or you’ll have something encouraging to share.  

Fear

The other day I saw an online article meant to induce panic.  It gave the scenario of a woman becoming friends with a man she didn’t know on Facebook, thinking that she’d probably met him somewhere and forgotten.  He seemed nice so she accepted his friend request.  Later on when she shared a post of her child, he took that picture and offered it to his sex trafficking customers.

HOLD THE PHONE!  

Needless to say I analyzed what I make public on my page and if I wanted to shut it down on the spot because it’s definitely not worth having one of my babies abducted over.

After calming down a little and further consideration, I thought about all of the millions of people using social media, including authors, bloggers, and YouTubers whose kids go un-abducted every day.  With my overprotective nature, my kids will continue to be as safe as they’ve always been and I can keep sharing through this creatively satisfying process of blogging and Facebook posting.

Don’t let FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) keep YOU from enjoying what makes you happy. We can live in constant fear if we choose to, but fear and worry truly are misuses of our imaginations.  Let’s use our minds to create a beautiful present moment, instead of worrying it away.

We’re all interconnected.

It seems like every time I’ve thought about shutting down my page, in moments of self doubt, fear, or guilt (feeling like I’ve taken way too much time from my family for this time consuming, zero income producing hobby)…anyway times like these are when POWERFUL women seem to step out of the shadows and send a message letting me know that they appreciate the page.  That happened this morning and it’s always the boost I need to keep on keeping on.  THANK YOU to those of you who have sent messages or made encouraging comments!  I appreciate it more than you know!

My Life

It’s a mess, both literally and figuratively this week.  I am surrounded by boxes.  Four months ago we moved out of my brother in law’s house but didn’t move all of our stuff with us.  He recently got married to a wonderful woman and moved out too.  They’re selling his house and so we HAD to move the rest of our crap.  Jason wanted to throw it all away but I objected, so now I have to deal with it all.  I’m dealing with it by writing this post.  That works, right?

Our personal mess is upstairs and one third of Jason’s business is downstairs as he transitions from one building to another.  We’re up to our eyeballs in stuff.  I said I was sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly.  The following picture is of Jason’s goods, but they don’t look so good piled up in our downstairs living room. Parts of our house look like an episode of Hoarders.

Possum Junk

Donald Trump

Don’t even get me started.

Marriage

Jason and Sarah Carousel

I said I was sharing good, bad, and ugly so…

My marriage has suffered the last few months and a lot of the problem has been my thinking about our marriage.  I’ve stirred pots and picked emotional scabs and…I started going to counseling a few weeks ago to break the cycle of my stinking thinking.

I’m a big fan of counseling.  We went to family counseling over the summer a few times and I was geeking out.  I LOVED IT and wondered why we hadn’t always been doing it.  I think my enjoyment of family counseling had something to do with my enjoyment of my family.  We’re all a bunch of goofballs and that means a lot of laughter, even in counseling.  These family sessions were being filmed because the two counselors were still under supervision..  One day on the way home, my 15 year old admitted to giving the camera random glances like Jim in The Office.

jim-halpert

NBC The Office

 

That’s comedy my friends.  I wonder what the “counselors in training” and their supervisor thought when they watched the video.

Back to marriage.  Marriage is T-O-U-G-H but our lifelong friendship, love for our family, and mutual disgust with Donald Trump make the load lighter and the days brighter.

Work

I’m still making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a factory.  With Jason’s work picking up for the Spring and Summer, I’m able to go down to two days a week!  Yay!!!  That starts this week!  I’m looking forward to helping him out, being home more, and having more energy to put toward creative projects and having the What One Person Can Do conversation with POWERFUL women.  I actually have time to do that again!

The Future and Work

It’s up in the air.  I’m still thinking about going back to school.  I especially think about going back to school on Peanut Butter Jelly days.  It’s just a matter of fitting all the pieces together.

Kids

Saturday we took a road trip.  This is a normal event for us but it was not a normal day.  In the history of road trips, this one’s going down in the books as one of the worst.  Our girls were DIFFICULT.  By the end of the trip, Jason and I decided we’d just go alone next time.

We set out to go to an exotic animal auction to see zebras and camels.  We were about an hour late.  SHOCKER!  We paid $5 a head just to get in.  We missed the exotic animals, but a couple there had a little capuchin with them.  We did see a zdonk in with some plain old boring donkeys. We learned that one zebra sold for $10,000 and one of the camels sold for $20,000!!!

We watched a couple of miniature horses sell and walked around and looked at the normal animals.  I don’t know llamas from alpacas, but I’m pretty sure it wanted to eat me.

Exotic Animal Auction

I LOVE going places I’ve never been before and I LOVE taking the road less traveled.  We saw some of the most beautiful scenery…giant hills and deep valleys and cows grazing on steep hillsides.  As we were driving up and around one hill, there was a turn off onto another road.  We could see that second road down below us, making a wider curve around the hill.  It was such an interesting view of both roads.  I wish I’d taken a picture.

Road Trip

As much yelling and fighting as our girls did, there was the usual laughter and fun too.  Even though we came away from the road trip worn out and a bit frustrated, the experience wasn’t a total wash.

Road Trip 2

Why yes.  That is a two headed doll that we lovingly refer to as Two Baby.  Nora picked Two Baby out when she was four.  He/she resurfaced during all of this moving of STUFF. The whole family is sentimental about Two Baby. #BoucherStyle

The girls’ rough housing earlier in the day was bad enough that Amelia’s new earring came out. When we got back into town, my boys accompanied the two of us to the mall to get her ear re-pierced.  We ended up eating dinner at a sushi train.

Sushi Train

That was a fun meal, even though Amelia dropped a WHOLE PIECE of sushi onto the floor!

My boys LOVE sushi!  They DON’T love hanging out with their little sisters.  Every day with 3 little sisters is like living our road trip over and over and over again, so this dinner was especially nice. Chuck played Paper Rock Scissors with Amelia and attempted to teach her how to use chop sticks. Sam took over while Chuck and I finished eating.  They watched Youtube videos of animals to pass the time.  I’m a REALLY slow eater and Chuck was going to get as much sushi out of the deal as he could.

The night ended with the purchase of a new laptop.  I’ve been using the slowest computer known to POWERFUL woman kind.  This new one is so speedy!  Is it bad that I told Cortana to refer to me as YOUR HIGHNESS?  Maggie helped me come up with that 🙂

And now after months of silence…you’re all caught up.

Thanks for reading this lengthy post.  As I’m finishing it up, it seems fitting to end with the little things quote.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

-Robert Brault

Wishing you a heart full of love for yourself (in addition to all of the other people you love) peace, and joy in the little things in your own life!

Love,

Sarah


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How To Have A Great Day

Friday was a GREAT day! I got the kids on the bus, made a quick call to Bill to catch up with him after his recent workshops in England.  I got off the phone and decided to take a little bit of quiet time and plan my day and maybe even write a little before tackling the house.  It was a wreck.  I’ve been working 3 twelve hour days a week for a little over a month.  On my days off, instead of staying home and cleaning, I’ve been off with Jason in search of fun inventory for The Awesome Possum or house hunting.    

I sat down with a cup of coffee and started writing.  I don’t do it enough and I REALLY enjoy it.  There are ALWAYS other tasks that need to be done and I’ve felt so stifled creatively, but the words flowed that morning.  As I was wrapping up my post (you can read it here) I got a text.  

beth and sarah

My friend Beth wanted to drive 40 minutes to see me.  Panic set in.  I wanted to spend time with her.  We haven’t seen each other in 6 months but she couldn’t possibly come over.  Beth is so organized and put together.  She’s one of my oldest friends and has seen my messy house many times but this time was different.  She’s got 8 month old Finlee now and I couldn’t imagine that sweet baby on my dirty floor.  My vehicle decided to give me grief a week ago and we’re down to 1 car for the time being, so I couldn’t meet her anywhere.  I told her she couldn’t come over but we could go out to eat.  

You’d have thought I was going on a date the way I prepared for lunch. Like I said, Beth is ALWAYS put together (for example she and 8 month old Finlee were both wearing WHITE! AND STAYED CLEAN!!!) but she also works for a dentist. I took extra care brushing with toothpaste and hydrogen peroxide for EXTRA bright teeth. I don’t get out enough 🙂

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We had a nice lunch and then went to a few little shops around my tiny town in search of birthday presents for a couple of friends, to no avail.

When she dropped me back off, I went inside and started cleaning.  I worked for a few hours.  The kids got home from school in the middle of the cleaning stint.  I could’ve cleaned for days, but settled for the downstairs being good enough.  We ordered pizza and watched Hocus Pocus.  CLASSIC! The girls loved it.

I fell asleep during the second movie but when we moved upstairs to bed, I got a second wind and stayed awake until around 2:00 watching Friends on Netflix.  I’m so not okay with the fact that all of those actors and actresses are now in their 50’s and I’m quickly approaching 40.

There was nothing extraordinary about the day but it felt special.  It felt complete.  I love days that feel complete.  They occur more often when I take time to think about my day, when I take time to do Self Care.  When I don’t take time to “set my intentions” for the day or to recognize that life is going by quickly (Jennifer Aniston is 50 for crying out loud!) then I’m just reacting to what life hands me instead of creating a day that feels complete.  

Yesterday wasn’t a great day for me.  I didn’t take time to get grounded in my well being.  I didn’t take time to pray/do Self Care.  I woke up and fell into the day.  I chose to dwell on some pretty unpleasant thoughts ALL DARN DAY.  I KEPT on choosing them over and over.  I kept choosing to look at a picture that triggered the thoughts.  It was a choice.  I created my unpleasant day.  It was rough.  There was a happy period in the day when my kids asked me to play games with them.  As you’ll recall, the upstairs of the house hadn’t been cleaned yet.  I told my son I had work to do and he insisted I take time to play.  I’m so glad I did.   

Anyway, this morning I woke up a little down and these thoughts helped me get back on track this morning and I hope they’ll be of use to you too.

Don’t get going on your day just yet.  What do you want from today?  How are you going to live today fully?  What do you want to do with your time?  Who would you like to spend time with?  How do you want to feel at the end of the day?  Think about it.  

Now…you’re ready.  Make it a great day.

For more on Self Care click here and here.

If you’re struggling or dealing with a loved one in pain, check out What Every Person Can Do.  It’s incredibly affordable.  12 weeks of support for what 1 hour of counseling would cost!  But…and I know this firsthand, even reasonably priced is not an option sometimes, so don’t write this off. Partial and full scholarships are available for those that need them and are serious about going through the work.  If you have questions for me, you can get in touch with me here.

 




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Trouble in Paradise-This Marriage Stuff

Boucher Family Pic 2014This marriage stuff is a lot harder than I thought it was. We’re almost 17 years into this and I’m scratching my head wondering what we can do to make it a happier and healthier relationship.

My experience of my marriage was that we had a pretty great one, one of the best in the history of mankind.  Unfortunately, the story stopped being legen…wait for it…dary 8 years ago.  I know it wasn’t a good experience for my husband by the 4 year mark.  That’s when he told me he thought we should see a counselor, but I “heard” what he had to say, told him we were fine, and everything got better (for me, not for him.)

If there’s one lesson I’m 100% sure of, it’s if your partner mentions counseling, don’t dismiss it.  RUN!  Don’t walk.

I want to write about my marriage because it’s real.  The struggle to be connected is real.  The feelings feel real for both of us.  There’s crap to deal with.  I don’t want any of my writing on this topic to blame or shame anyone, myself included, which is really where most of those negative thoughts would be directed since I’m the one writing this.

Here’s where I sit today.

We both had different experiences of our marriage.  We’ve made lots of happy memories over the years (I love those), but there’s also been a lot of pain and damage done on both our parts.  Our excellent communication was not as excellent as I thought it was.  We separated for 9 months in 2012 and then we made the decision to work on our marriage.  Even at our worst, separated and in relationships with other people, we still cared for and encouraged each other to make good choices.

When we decided to recommit, we went to counseling for three weeks.  The counselor told us we weren’t like other couples she’d worked with.  She really said that.  She praised our communication and respect for each other.  She told us we were doing great and sent us on our merry way.  Fast forward to today.

We’ve talked and agreed that our marriage lacks connection and we don’t know what to do about it.  We like each other.  I’d go so far as to say we love each other.  We want to stay married, but we’re just not very connected.

Here’s my analysis.  I feel like we both learned to live apart during those 9 months and since we’ve been back together, we’ve still been living separate lives.  We just do our own thing and sometimes our paths cross.  We’re both busy with life, which happens to all couples and is not unique to our situation.  So my question is what do you do when life gets busy and you get disconnected from your partner, besides the obvious.  My husband said it best jokingly, “We connect with our hearts, not with our parts.”

So, how can we get more connected?  What are your suggestions?  Seriously.  Share your ideas by commenting below or come over to I Am A Powerful Woman and post them on the wall.  I’ll compile a list and we’ll try them.  This will be fun and it might just work.

Thanks for your help!

Sarah

 

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The Greatest Victory

The Greatest Victory

There is a battle that rages daily in our homes. Each life is effected differently but EVERYONE is touched. There is no escape and it’s not a battle that anyone can fight for you or that you will be able to fight for those you care about.

If the battle is not won, some may be held hostage their entire lives, self worth will never be discovered, dreams will never be realized, and lives will be half lived. This is actually a very serious problem and extends beyond the surface I am scratching here. It’s the reason we struggle in any given area of our lives from being disorganized to struggling to live a healthier lifestyle to you name it. This battle is the battle of the mind.

It is constant, as you know, but there is hope. Peace among the inner voices is indeed possible.

“I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.” –Aristotle

I had so much fun making this short YouTube video below. In it, I share a couple of tips that have been useful to me in going into battle against myself.

I Am A Powerful Woman | Sarah Boucher | Self Talk
SELF TALK Video

In the comments below the video, I’d love to hear about any secret weapons you’ve used that have been effective in the battle you’ve been fighting. We’re all in different places. You may be home from the battle of the mind a disciplined, self confident, victorious warrior. Please share any resources you know will help the rest of us.

If you like the video, please share it with your friends and be sure to subscribe to my channel to see more.

Until next time, keep growing in your POWER.

Sarah

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You Are Not Stuck

Random Thoughts N' Lota Coffee
You Are Not Stuck
I hope you are having a very happy experience of life, but some of you are in a different place than that. Your thoughts are filled with pain, worry, and maybe even hopelessness. You are not stuck.

I was greeted this morning with the terrible news of a suicide. A sweet, red headed woman who always had a big smile on her face. I barely knew her but the news hit me like a ton of bricks.

POWERFUL woman–listen to me. There are ALWAYS choices available to you in ANY situation. YOU ARE NOT STUCK! YOU ARE NOT TRAPPED! HELP IS AVAILABLE ALL AROUND YOU. Reach out and take the hand of a stranger even. MAKE THE CALL. People all around the world care about YOU and we are cheering you on.

There are so many stories of success–of women who took that first step to make the change for herself and her children.

Depression
If you suffer from depression, please call your doctor, get free counseling, and even learn techniques to change your thinking. If your depression is not severe, look for something you can do for someone else or look for the next thing that needs to be done. Get up and get to work. Find the next thing that needs to be done and do it. Don’t sit and think for hours (I’m a thinker, so I know how easy it is to get stuck in this place. I struggled with depression for about a year, maybe longer than that after my fourth child was born. I didn’t want to accept the fact that I was depressed. Learning that I had more control over which thoughts I put energy into, proactively filling myself up with grounded, positive thoughts and a daily Self Care routine made a world of difference in the way I experience my life whether the circumstances around me are “good” or “bad”.)

Single Moms
You are definitely not alone. There are many resources available to single moms–grants, state programs, single parent groups in your community and in churches. I did a search for single moms on Pinterest and found all kinds of encouragement there. Check out this article as a jumping off place if you are feeling overwhelmed or need extra encouragement. 10 Single Mom Secrets.

Addiction
If you struggle with addiction, check out Sisters of Serenity and Sobriety for daily encouragement and start your journey to recovery. Katie has quite a survival story.

Physical or Emotional Abuse
If YOU are being abused or your children are being abused, call the police, get into a shelter, and start rebuilding your life.

Human Trafficking Victim or Prostitution
If you are in either of these situations, you are not alone and help is available to you.
How to Know if You Are a Victim And for those of us who want to fight for our sisters, here’s 20 Ways You Can Help Human Trafficking.

Hookers for Jesus Their desire and goal includes providing transitional support and assistance to the youth and women seeking to leave the sex industry.

Loss of Loved Ones
If you are dealing with the loss of someone close to you, first of all, I am very sorry for your loss and secondly, I hope this site helps you make sense of your grief. MedicineNet.com

Take Action
If the action is calling National Suicide Prevention Hotline, then make the call now. Be your own hero by taking that first step today to rescue yourself. GET HELP! I believe in YOU! YOU are a POWERFUL woman. YOU are not STUCK!

Please comment below if you have encouragement or a resource to pass along to anyone who might feel alone in any of these areas.

All my love and POWERFUL thoughts being sent your way!
Sarah
Sarah Boucher
www.facebook.com/IAmaPowerfulWoman

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Unleash Your Power With Self Care

Self Care helps me get centered–grounded in my well being.  When I approach my day this way, I have a better experience of life.  Circumstances that would normally send me over the edge are easily handled and life moves on.  I have experienced a major shift in my life because of practicing self care.

We are taught that the world is an outside in deal–that things outside of us make us happy.  When I get this thing I’ve always wanted, then I will be happy.  The truth is that happiness is ALWAYS an inside out job.  This is why self care is crucial.  Michael Neill says, “We think we are experiencing reality but what we are really experiencing is our thinking.”  Making Self Care a habit has definitely helped me with my thinking.

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Self Care is a very personal practice.  You have to find the right combination for you, but I will offer you the same starting place that was given to me.

These four Self Care thoughts come from Bill Cumming.  His organization is called The Boothby Institute. Bill recommends spending time each morning thinking about these four main points and then reading a couple of pages from authors like Marianne Williamson, Don Miguel Ruiz, and Greg Baer, whose books reinforce the main ideas of Self Care.

Self Care Thoughts

  1. We live in a miracle.
  2. We are ALL interconnected.
  3. The ONLY thing I can control today is the way I CHOOSE to BE in the world.
  4. Be gracious with yourself.

When I first started self care, I thought about these four thoughts and then tacked on The Four Agreements too.

  1. Be impeccable with your word.  (Don’t use your words to hurt yourself or others.
  2. Don’t take anything personally.  (Nothing others do or say is because of you.  It’s their own drama.)
  3. Don’t make assumptions.  (Don’t assume you know what others are thinking or that they know what you are thinking.)
  4. Always do your best.  (Your best changes from day to day.)

Doing self care that way worked for me, but now I do it differently.  I pray about the Self Care thoughts and then pray about whatever else I want to pray about.  It just seems natural to me in thinking about the miracle of life, to thank God for it right then and there.  That may or may not work for you.  There are no rules.  I only know that taking time to dwell on those four points does make an incredible difference in the way I experience a day.

If you find yourself in the middle of the day ungrounded–do self care.  It makes sense that if it works in the beginning of the day that it would work in the middle too.

I want all of us to go through our days with MORE JOY, MORE PEACE, and MORE POWER and Self Care is a very effective way to do so. I created a one page Self Care Guide that you can print off. I use it from time to time to help my wandering mind stay focused. I even skip around from one section of the page to another as my thoughts roam, filling out whatever part of the page the thought fits into.

In addition to the Daily Self Care Guide, here’s a link to an AMAZING video that leaves me feeling like I’ve just done Self Care every time I watch it.

I hope you enjoy these resources and please feel free to share them with others!

I Am A Powerful Woman shirt

Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there.  If you have questions regarding the 12 week program What One Person Can Do or the online version What Every Person Can Do, you can get in touch with Sarah here.

 

 

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