Tag Archives: working moms

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

I’ve felt blocked for months.  I’m going to share and see what happens.  That was my original intent anyway on this journey to personal power.  There are times when I feel like I’m supposed to have answers for my life that I don’t have and so I get quiet.  

Good, bad, ugly…I’m going to say where I am and how it’s affecting me.  You’ll either judge me and go away, or you’ll relate, or you’ll have something encouraging to share.  

Fear

The other day I saw an online article meant to induce panic.  It gave the scenario of a woman becoming friends with a man she didn’t know on Facebook, thinking that she’d probably met him somewhere and forgotten.  He seemed nice so she accepted his friend request.  Later on when she shared a post of her child, he took that picture and offered it to his sex trafficking customers.

HOLD THE PHONE!  

Needless to say I analyzed what I make public on my page and if I wanted to shut it down on the spot because it’s definitely not worth having one of my babies abducted over.

After calming down a little and further consideration, I thought about all of the millions of people using social media, including authors, bloggers, and YouTubers whose kids go un-abducted every day.  With my overprotective nature, my kids will continue to be as safe as they’ve always been and I can keep sharing through this creatively satisfying process of blogging and Facebook posting.

Don’t let FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) keep YOU from enjoying what makes you happy. We can live in constant fear if we choose to, but fear and worry truly are misuses of our imaginations.  Let’s use our minds to create a beautiful present moment, instead of worrying it away.

We’re all interconnected.

It seems like every time I’ve thought about shutting down my page, in moments of self doubt, fear, or guilt (feeling like I’ve taken way too much time from my family for this time consuming, zero income producing hobby)…anyway times like these are when POWERFUL women seem to step out of the shadows and send a message letting me know that they appreciate the page.  That happened this morning and it’s always the boost I need to keep on keeping on.  THANK YOU to those of you who have sent messages or made encouraging comments!  I appreciate it more than you know!

My Life

It’s a mess, both literally and figuratively this week.  I am surrounded by boxes.  Four months ago we moved out of my brother in law’s house but didn’t move all of our stuff with us.  He recently got married to a wonderful woman and moved out too.  They’re selling his house and so we HAD to move the rest of our crap.  Jason wanted to throw it all away but I objected, so now I have to deal with it all.  I’m dealing with it by writing this post.  That works, right?

Our personal mess is upstairs and one third of Jason’s business is downstairs as he transitions from one building to another.  We’re up to our eyeballs in stuff.  I said I was sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly.  The following picture is of Jason’s goods, but they don’t look so good piled up in our downstairs living room. Parts of our house look like an episode of Hoarders.

Possum Junk

Donald Trump

Don’t even get me started.

Marriage

Jason and Sarah Carousel

I said I was sharing good, bad, and ugly so…

My marriage has suffered the last few months and a lot of the problem has been my thinking about our marriage.  I’ve stirred pots and picked emotional scabs and…I started going to counseling a few weeks ago to break the cycle of my stinking thinking.

I’m a big fan of counseling.  We went to family counseling over the summer a few times and I was geeking out.  I LOVED IT and wondered why we hadn’t always been doing it.  I think my enjoyment of family counseling had something to do with my enjoyment of my family.  We’re all a bunch of goofballs and that means a lot of laughter, even in counseling.  These family sessions were being filmed because the two counselors were still under supervision..  One day on the way home, my 15 year old admitted to giving the camera random glances like Jim in The Office.

jim-halpert

NBC The Office

 

That’s comedy my friends.  I wonder what the “counselors in training” and their supervisor thought when they watched the video.

Back to marriage.  Marriage is T-O-U-G-H but our lifelong friendship, love for our family, and mutual disgust with Donald Trump make the load lighter and the days brighter.

Work

I’m still making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a factory.  With Jason’s work picking up for the Spring and Summer, I’m able to go down to two days a week!  Yay!!!  That starts this week!  I’m looking forward to helping him out, being home more, and having more energy to put toward creative projects and having the What One Person Can Do conversation with POWERFUL women.  I actually have time to do that again!

The Future and Work

It’s up in the air.  I’m still thinking about going back to school.  I especially think about going back to school on Peanut Butter Jelly days.  It’s just a matter of fitting all the pieces together.

Kids

Saturday we took a road trip.  This is a normal event for us but it was not a normal day.  In the history of road trips, this one’s going down in the books as one of the worst.  Our girls were DIFFICULT.  By the end of the trip, Jason and I decided we’d just go alone next time.

We set out to go to an exotic animal auction to see zebras and camels.  We were about an hour late.  SHOCKER!  We paid $5 a head just to get in.  We missed the exotic animals, but a couple there had a little capuchin with them.  We did see a zdonk in with some plain old boring donkeys. We learned that one zebra sold for $10,000 and one of the camels sold for $20,000!!!

We watched a couple of miniature horses sell and walked around and looked at the normal animals.  I don’t know llamas from alpacas, but I’m pretty sure it wanted to eat me.

Exotic Animal Auction

I LOVE going places I’ve never been before and I LOVE taking the road less traveled.  We saw some of the most beautiful scenery…giant hills and deep valleys and cows grazing on steep hillsides.  As we were driving up and around one hill, there was a turn off onto another road.  We could see that second road down below us, making a wider curve around the hill.  It was such an interesting view of both roads.  I wish I’d taken a picture.

Road Trip

As much yelling and fighting as our girls did, there was the usual laughter and fun too.  Even though we came away from the road trip worn out and a bit frustrated, the experience wasn’t a total wash.

Road Trip 2

Why yes.  That is a two headed doll that we lovingly refer to as Two Baby.  Nora picked Two Baby out when she was four.  He/she resurfaced during all of this moving of STUFF. The whole family is sentimental about Two Baby. #BoucherStyle

The girls’ rough housing earlier in the day was bad enough that Amelia’s new earring came out. When we got back into town, my boys accompanied the two of us to the mall to get her ear re-pierced.  We ended up eating dinner at a sushi train.

Sushi Train

That was a fun meal, even though Amelia dropped a WHOLE PIECE of sushi onto the floor!

My boys LOVE sushi!  They DON’T love hanging out with their little sisters.  Every day with 3 little sisters is like living our road trip over and over and over again, so this dinner was especially nice. Chuck played Paper Rock Scissors with Amelia and attempted to teach her how to use chop sticks. Sam took over while Chuck and I finished eating.  They watched Youtube videos of animals to pass the time.  I’m a REALLY slow eater and Chuck was going to get as much sushi out of the deal as he could.

The night ended with the purchase of a new laptop.  I’ve been using the slowest computer known to POWERFUL woman kind.  This new one is so speedy!  Is it bad that I told Cortana to refer to me as YOUR HIGHNESS?  Maggie helped me come up with that 🙂

And now after months of silence…you’re all caught up.

Thanks for reading this lengthy post.  As I’m finishing it up, it seems fitting to end with the little things quote.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

-Robert Brault

Wishing you a heart full of love for yourself (in addition to all of the other people you love) peace, and joy in the little things in your own life!

Love,

Sarah


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Dream A Little Dream

Once upon a time there was a woman, not a girl because 37 year olds are women, even though she still felt very much like a girl some days.  This girl, I mean woman spent 4 years spilling over with positivity and hope for a brighter future for her family and all people everywhere.  She got tired of being positive all the time.  She quit dreaming and went to work in a peanut butter and jelly factory where the rest of her creativity and positivity was squelched entirely.  THE END

PSYCH!

This woman went to work in a peanut butter and jelly factory, the PERFECT job for any mommy, making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  (Oh yeah, sorry for that crust on your kids uncrusted sandwich.) She went to work and she kept right on dreaming.  She dreamed of working an extra day a week and all the ways she could spend that money on her kids or watching the savings add up.  She dreamed of going back to school.  She dreamed of volunteering on her days off.  She’d always wanted to do some volunteer work.  She dreamed of making a cozy home for her family.  She dreamed of baking and doing art projects with her girls on the weekend.  She dreamed of reading to those little girls at bedtime.  She dreamed of writing more than once every 3 months.  She dreamed of preparing a meal other than spaghetti to impress her husband, the primary dinner maker.  She dreamed of grocery store trips and special time out with one child a week, even the grown one.  She dreamed of eating healthy.  She dreamed of date nights.  She dreamed of working with her mentor full time.  She dreamed up a few non-profit organizations and imagined the women and children benefiting from their services.  She dreamed of confidence and the right words to say at the right time.  She dreamed of making people laugh, especially her husband and kids.  She dreamed of road trips and vacations and freedom.  Yes, she was a dreamer and she was also a doer, even though she didn’t give herself enough credit for the doing that she did, after all she was just one girl…I mean woman.  She felt like she was all dreams, no action.  She reminded herself that she couldn’t possibly do all of those things at once, but she could do some of them.  

She dreamed up an idea to encourage women on Facebook because she was overflowing with enthusiasm when she learned that she could create her life, that she had more POWER than she ever dreamed possible.  She created the page and started posting.  It was just like Field of Dreams.  She built it and they came and she was so grateful for their presence and mutual encouragement.  

Keep dreaming friends but don’t stop there.  Pick a dream and RUN WITH IT!  I’ll do the same.  I’m picking the cozy home dream today.  It’s ANYTHING BUT at the moment.  I’ve got my day’s work cut out for me.   




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Charles In Charge

Sarah Boucher

I went to a temporary service on June 2nd and started working in a factory the following day. I’ve been a stay at home the majority of my adult life so it was quite an adjustment.

Is it my dream job? Heck no. Does it pay? Yep. Would I like to do something different? Yes. Will I be okay if I end up working there the rest of my life? Yes. Is that the plan? Nope.

This past week, I trained in a different part of the factory with a man named, you guessed it, Charles. Here are a few of the lessons I learned from him.

Lesson #1 Age is just a number.
Charles is 65 years old. I wouldn’t have known it unless he had told me. I’m not sure how much a canvas bag full of 60 car belts and powder weighs, but he tosses them around like they are loaves of bread. During the week, he mentioned arthritis in his knees once, but told me he’ll keep working until he’s physically unable to do so.

Lesson #2 I’m a rebel.
As Charles was explaining the task at hand, he said, “I do 60 belts at a time, but you’re really supposed to do 30. They’ll be too hard for you to move from point A to point B.”

Uh…challenge accepted. And so I set out to prove that I too could do 60 belts at a time. The bags didn’t look like loaves of bread when I tossed them, more like bags of something really heavy, but I did it anyway.

Which brings me to

Lesson #3 Charles doesn’t know everything.

I’ve heard a few times, not just from Charles, that certain jobs in the factory aren’t for women. Maybe they aren’t for every woman, but I’m sure a certain woman COULD do the job, and some could do it better than the men that are currently doing said job. If a woman wants to do a job, she should be given the opportunity. When people make statements like that, I want to prove them all wrong. But, I don’t have time to body build right now, so I’ll save that challenge for another day. Yeah, probably not.

Lesson #4 Always do your best.
It’s a lesson that I’ve known for awhile but it was reinforced this week as I watched a man take pride in his work, a job that most people wouldn’t consider doing, and did it with energy and enthusiasm.

“Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”
― Miguel Ruiz

Check out The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

It FEELS GOOD knowing that you’ve done your best instead of going into a job dreading it and hating it the whole time. I am learning that I can do any job with energy, enthusiasm, and like it’s the most important job in the world, even if it’s dusting and cleaning toilets. The day goes by quickly when you do what needs to be done and do it with a good attitude.

give 100 percent

Lesson #5 Self Defense
On our last day together, Charles left me with a couple of self defense moves in case I ever find myself in danger. He is all about team work and sharing knowledge to make the job and life easier.

Lesson #6 Life is too short. Have fun!
The whole week was full of fun. Charles said it makes him sad to see people walking around with their heads down, not enjoying themselves, so he does everything he can to brighten up the day. Wednesday was full of, “Hey Chuck!” or, “Hey Young Blood! What day is it?” and the response would sound back, “Hump Day!” and then Charles would laugh like it was the greatest thing ever.

Charles has an inside joke with, or a nickname for everyone that walks past and they all seem to enjoy him as much as he enjoys them.

I also learned this life changing fact.

“That’s what she said,” did NOT originate with Michael Scott from The Office, but Charles has been saying it since the 70’s.

Do you have a co-worker that makes work more pleasant or do you dread going into work? What can you do to brighten up your environment, to be an energy giver? Let me know about this awesome co-worker or about your plans to be happier at work this week in the comments or over on facebook.

I Am A Powerful Woman shirt

Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there.

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What Are You Working For?

What Are You Working For?

Sarah Boucher | I Am A Powerful Woman
This is a question I’ve asked myself quite a bit lately.

I’ve been a stay at home mom for 15 years, with just a few months employment here and there, once in a wholesale club, another time as a school bus driver, and off and on over the last 3 years as a childcare provider in my home, but for the vast majority of the time, I’ve been what my husband now calls, “The Stay At Home.”

I’ve been measuring belts in a factory at my new job. It’s easy, but boring. It’s given me lots of time to ponder life’s greatest mysteries, well my life’s greatest mysteries anyway. My mind is ALL OVER THE PLACE during those 2 hour stretches between breaks. I’ve been amused by all the thoughts that come and go rather quickly, completely unrelated to each other (and the songs that pop into my head.) I’ve spent time being nostalgic, thinking about my childhood, revisiting some unhappy times as an adult, giving myself grief over mistakes, and then cheering myself up with some of those songs. I’ve also been able to get in some quality brainstorming.

Here are some of the songs that put some pep in my step or remind me what I want to be up to in life.

You’ll Be Okay
Put on a Happy Face
Breath of Heaven Not everybody’s cup of tea but it encourages me.
All I Want To Do (not the Sheryl Crow song)
Tonight You Belong To Me (random fun song that pops into my head A LOT)

I’m looking at any job I work at through this temporary service as just that, temporary. I like looking at it this way because I feel like I’m not stuck in this particular factory job forever, whether I end up working here for 5 minutes, 5 months, or 5 years. It’s one of the thoughts that are helping me transition from being “The Stay At Home” to a working gal.

There are other thoughts keeping me going too. One of the biggest motivators is of course that paycheck at the end of the week. That MAGICAL paycheck. That paycheck that’s going to help with bills, cover summer birthdays for 5 kids, allow for a couple of Girl Scouts trips this weekend and a road trip with my husband in September, and fund some creative projects. It’s AMAZING how far that paycheck can go in my mind and THAT’S JUST THE FIRST CHECK!!! Okay, in reality the first check was gone to pay a bill an hour after being cashed, but I never would’ve made it to the first check without the dream.

Half the time I enjoy what I’m doing and appreciate the fact that I have all of that quiet thinking time and the other half of the time I think about what other more enjoyable work I might be missing out on and how my right arm is sore and my wrist is starting to hurt and wah wah wah.

REALITY CHECK

When I got to work Thursday night, the lady who works across from me told me that an employee was found dead that morning. He was only 30 years old. I didn’t know him, but I felt sad for my co-workers who lost their friend. It snapped me into the present moment and to what matters most in life.

What am I working for?

For the rest of the night that magical paycheck didn’t seem so magical. In the grand scheme of things, what am I doing with my life? Am I working for “stuff”? What do I want for my future? What do I want now? What am I trading my family time for? Why am I doing this?

I’ve come up with these three answers.

#1 I want the money but not the STUFF.

I’d love to have the ability to buy STUFF but I don’t want that to be my motivation. Stuff is not important to me. I want the money because I don’t want to struggle financially any more. There’s too much stress in the struggle and it can be alleviated. I want financial freedom. Don’t we all? 🙂

#2 This is just part of the journey.

Working now in this way is a stepping stone. It’s necessary and it’s not a big deal. I’ve got a vision that I’m working toward and this is going to help me get there faster.

and finally

#3 I don’t have to have all of the answers.

“The greatest joy in life is being a contribution.” Bill Cumming

I’m pretty sure that the quote above is the short and to the point version of this much longer quote.

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish, little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”
George Bernard Shaw

For now, I’ve chosen to contribute to my family in this way and I like the way that contribution feels.

Do you have any words of wisdom to offer for balancing work and home? What are some of the ways you keep things running smoothly? I can use lots of help in this area 🙂 Leave your comments below or come on over to facebook and share them there.

I Am A Powerful Woman shirt
Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there. If you are interested in learning about the 12 week conversation What One Person Can Do, you can get in touch with Sarah here.

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Powerful Relationships Create Powerful Women

Powerful Relationships Create Powerful Women
By Heather Grant

“Non nobis solum nati sumus.”
(We are not born for ourselves alone.)
― Cicero

Often times when we seek out and are nurturing relationships, we are looking for someone to make us happy. This seems to be the world’s view of dating, marriage, and friendships. Find someone who can make me happy! The funny thing is to become truly happy we have to become less focused on me and more focused on the person we are trying to nurture a relationship with.

Sometimes as women we sit around waiting. Waiting to be asked on a date or for our husband to get a clue and bring us flowers. We wait for our kids to start treating us with respect, or for our friends to ask us out to lunch or give us a call to see how we are doing. Instead of waiting, it is time to take the power back into our own hands and begin doing and creating the life and relationships that we desire. In order to become powerful women we need to create powerful relationships.

Before I started my own business, I was a stay at home mom and I was totally wrapped up in my own life and challenges. When I began my own business, I was amazed at how many strong relationships and deep meaningful friendships I did NOT have! I was so wrapped up in my own life and problems that I didn’t reach out to other women in sincere friendship and support. Through building my own business and with lots of hard work and personal development, I am happy to say I have completely changed all that.

There is an object lesson I love. Take a single pencil and you can break it in half easily but when you bundle several pencils together they become unbreakable. They are strong and powerful when supported. Each of us needs those loving relationships in our lives and it is up to us to use the power within ourselves and create them. Sometimes this is easy and sometimes it requires us to sacrifice what we want and what we think will make us happy and to put someone else’s happiness first. Let me give you an example.

Jarom and Heather Grant

My husband and I try to go on dates regularly, and even after being married for several years, we struggle to come up with things to do on date night that we are both happy with. We finally settled on a compromise. He gets to choose the date one week, and then the next time we go out, it is my turn. He usually chooses to go fishing or hiking or something “manly”. I usually choose to eat out and watch a chick flick.

The fact is, I hate fishing! You get wet, cold and muddy. You usually don’t catch fish so it is extremely boring. Then, if by sheer luck, my hubby happens to catch a fish, he gives it to me to hold, so he can continue fishing. The fish flails and flings mud and slime all over me and scares me to death. Then it dies, which breaks my heart, and he cleans all the guts and blood out. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! I get eaten by mosquitoes and end up cold, muddy, and smelling all fishy-like. The funny thing is, that as much as I HATE fishing, I LOVE fishing with my husband because I know he loves it. He carries me across the river in the deep parts, and the look on his face when he actually catches a fish is truly priceless! He is so proud of himself! He holds that fish up high for me to see and gets this whole caveman attitude of, “See woman, me catch fish, we eat fish, I am man.” It is hilarious! I get the best feeling spending time with him when I am doing the things that I know he enjoys and makes him the happiest. My best dates are the ones when he chooses what we get to do. But, please, please, don’t tell him, because I want to eat out and watch a chick flick now and again too!

We need to quit waiting for our spouse or friends to spoil us and make us happy. Instead we need to try to spoil them and make them happy. The truth is that when you do this YOU find true joy and happiness! Instead of looking for business prospects to make us money, we need to seek to serve and support those we do business with and add value to their lives. When we do this it goes full circle and blesses our own lives financially.

To find true happiness we have to become less focused on me and more focused on the person we are trying to nurture a relationship with. Bring that hubby a treat to his work or slip him a kind note or text. Take your children to the park or read them that favorite book again and then again. Message that girl friend you have lost touch with, or better yet, give her a call and catch up. We can all think of a friend we love and have lost touch with. We lead fast paced, busy lives so we have to make it a priority to place a phone call or two and schedule that lunch date or girls night out. It is time to take power back into our own hands and begin doing and creating the life and relationships that we desire. As we seek to serve and make other people happy,we find true joy, satisfaction, and happiness.

10-6-2013 Heather Grant 112 (1)

About the Author
Heather loves reading, writing, and public speaking. She works as a wellness advocate selling doTERRA essentials oils. She focuses on helping people with physical, emotional, and financial health and well being. Heather married Jarom Grant, on August 2, 2002, in the Manti LDS temple for time and all eternity. They reside in Duchesne, Utah, with their five children. To find out more about Heather’s story or about her work as a wellness advocate check out this link.

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