The Boucher Family
When I started I Am A Powerful Woman on facebook, my biggest problem was that we were a family of seven with very little income. I was on top of the world emotionally. I was no longer a victim of my own thinking. I was creating my days instead of reacting to them. Nothing could bring me down or so I thought. I was living through tough financial times and I wasn’t freaking out over everyday challenges. In all our years of marriage I felt like we always had our priorities straight. We didn’t have money but we had each other and five healthy kids. We were rich indeed. And it was just getting ready to turn around for us financially. My husband was promoted to management and we finally had enough money to get on top of our financial situation.
My husband moved out of the house a month ago. I was completely blindsided. My well being flew out of the window and I crashed hard. I am not angry–just very sad. We are not at each others’ throats. Our communication is civil and the situation could be much worse than it is, but it is still not at all the way I would choose for my life to be going. I was CRAZY in love with him and my life was completely intertwined with his. I am still scratching my head over this turn of events and what is to become of me.
Some of my first thoughts were that I would be okay one day. I will get through this and it is an opportunity to explore my life independently. I was a young wife and mother and have never been independent from another grown up. Some days I have been just fine. Other days I don’t know how I could ever be happy again.
I thought recently about how much pressure he was under to provide for such a large family and how unhappy he was in that struggle–especially the last couple of years. During his darkest days was when I learned I had control over my thoughts and could be happy regardless of other people’s emotional state and actions. I soared. He sunk.
My feelings of despair have really shaken me up. Will I ever be happy again? How is it possible that I was able to feel happiness in the midst of his stress, but I can’t feel it now? How can I separate my life from his and find myself again? Where did my POWER go?
Have you been in my position? Are you here now? I am very curious as to how others coped through these hard days of learning a new way to live without sinking into despair and not functioning. The best advice I have been given for really rough days is to ask myself, “Am I breathing?” and then ask, “What’s the next thing?” With five kids, there is always a next thing to be done.
I cannot change the past. It is what it is. The ONLY thing I can control is the way I CHOOSE to BE in the world today.
I made a list yesterday of all of the things that I have done for myself or that others have done for me that have encouraged me during this time. Here are a few of the things on my list.
* bubble bath
* candles
* an $8 purse
* Pumpkin Spice Latte
* dinner with a couple of friends (Yummy Mexican food!!!)
* my mom took me to the movies (a lovely distraction–We saw Dark Knight Rising. Nothing like fighting and killing to get over a broken heart.)
* I bought a puppy for my kids
Puppy Power!
* Loads of love and support from friends and family–texts and calls. These have meant so much to me.
How did you cope? What did you do (or are presently doing) to make it through a similar situation? What helpful books did you read? Comment below or come over to fb and share.
