It’s Not Like That Anymore

I’m moving…again. 

I’m tired of moving. This makes my 25th move in 43 years, that is if you count moving out of my mother’s womb as the first one.

This is the 16th move I’ve made with a kid/kids in 25 years and move #5 in 7 years! 

The worst part of this particular move is this house is perfect for my family, but it’s a rental.  As such, I don’t plan to be there for more than a year or two because the rent is stupid high. 

When I signed the lease, I asked the owner if he’d consider selling after a year. It’s part of his retirement plan so he doesn’t seem willing to part with it, but it won’t hurt to ask again next year.

“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.”

Nora Roberts

I haven’t been great at meeting my expenses with much lower rent, so this will be a fun little experiment. If I do my job properly, my financial crisis should quickly resolve itself.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue.

I don’t know what your thoughts are on taking an active role in creating your life or manifesting your desires, but I declared that I wanted to make $100,000 in 2021. 

I was working in an office making $20,000 when I decided it was time dust off my health license and put it to use. I planned to quit the office job by February or March of this year and sell supplemental insurance full time.

My boss expedited the opportunity to make my desired income by switching from the company he’d worked with for 17 years to Family First Life, a few days before Christmas. It put me in a complete tailspin. 

After a couple of weeks of going back and forth about which company I wanted to make this $100,000 goal a reality with, I decided to pursue the opportunity with Family First Life.  _{(After you’re done reading here, you can click on the link to get a quick overview of Family First Life, if you’re looking for a career, part time or full time. Leave a comment here or message me on Facebook after you’ve watched the video if you want more information.)}

I obtained my life license and made my first sale on February 25th!

If I don’t meet my $100,000 goal it will 100% be because I didn’t follow the system. If I put forth enough effort, I can meet and exceed my goal before the end of the year. If I keep doing like I’ve been doing from February 25th up until now, I’ll make a little more than I did last year, but I’ll be 70K shy of my goal.

I’ve kept my feet on the brake and accelerator, which isn’t helping me at all. I’ve decided this is deep rooted in money mindset issues. I’m so used to struggling financially and emotionally, so I’m doing lots of self sabotaging.

I’m finding very valid reasons (aka excuses) to not work diligently–doctor’s appointments…orthodontist appointments for 3 kids…this move…so on and so forth.

This morning I was trying to fall back asleep and my stomach was in knots. I was thinking about how the last 15 years have been some form of drama or turmoil. I’ve lived in chaos for f-i-f-t-e-e-n years. Sheesh kapeesh! That’s 14 too many.

11 of those were trying to sort through marital drama. To stay together or not to stay together? That was the question. (I don’t wish that on my worst enemy…well, maybe…but then I’d wish life lessons learned and lots of happiness on that B-word. I’m sorry, but she’s a real “not nice woman.” She treated my children horribly. It’s okay though because I’d only be wishing her 11 years of turmoil, not a lifetime. If I’m being honest, she’s suffered enough in her 40 something years, which is why she goes around causing others to suffer. If there’s a way for her to heal from her own trauma, the better off she’ll be and the rest of the people she comes in contact with, so the right thing to do is to wish her well from far far away.) 

I digress.

The last four years have been an attempt to stabilize after the separation, learning all the hard lessons one learns after a long term relationship ends, attempting to move forward in a healthy manner and making plenty of mistakes (just like I did during the first separation.)

Random Sidenote

If you haven’t been through a separation or divorce, you really think you know how you’d conduct yourself, but you have no idea how you’d actually respond. Thank God you haven’t had to go through it and be gentle with your friends and family members navigating that trainwreck of a new beginning. It’s Hell on Earth. They need your love and support more than anyone realizes. 

And we’re…

back to this morning. There I was, trying to rest, beating myself up for being in transition for the last 15 years. (That number still blows my mind.) The point of all of this is, much like declaring a monetary goal for 2021, it’s time to get rid of the story that I’m struggling and decide that I’m creating a phenomenal future.

The phrase NOW I LIVE came to mind. NOW I LIVE. 

I suffered. I did that. NOW I LIVE. 

I did my best to make it through challenging circumstances for 15 years. NOW I LIVE.

NOW I LIVE. NOW YOU LIVE. NOW WE LIVE.

I was talking with my former boss/soon to be former landlord a couple of weeks ago, about my money mindset hang ups. I stated my concern and he replied, “It’s not like that anymore.” It just rolled off his tongue as if he’d said, “The sun is shining.”

It’s not like that anymore. NOW I LIVE.

Let’s live now. This is our time!

As always, thank you for reading. I’d love to hear any thoughts you have from, “Me too!” to “Could you please write a blog post about ____________.” Drop your thoughts below.