It was 2016. I read some clever articles by Glennon Doyle and one in particular stood out. It was something to the effect of, “Sometimes sisters choose to leave and sometimes sisters choose to stay.”
I made the choice to stay in 2013. I wanted all the justification for this drama I continued to put myself through that was available.
In the article, Glennon was promoting her book, Love Warrior. Love Warrior is Glennon’s story of staying.
I ordered my copy but while I waited for my copy to come, Glennon made the announcement that her marriage to her husband Craig ended.
I had a gut feeling that reading her book would lead to me making a similar decision. I was honestly nervous to start reading but knew I needed encouragement from someone who had walked down a similar path.
I was tired of conversations with other women who told me I was a better woman than they were. They boldly proclaimed they would never stay in that scenario. I didn’t feel like a better woman after those conversations. I felt convicted and… like I was making a weak move. Was I setting a bad example for my children by staying?
Two-thirds of the way through the book, I knew my marriage was done.
Glennon shared how after she and Craig split up, he fought to win her back. He did everything in his power to show he cared. It didn’t work at the time, but he did it anyway. He was pursuing her and their family.
I cried at the realization that I was not being pursued. I was, in fact, the one pursuing.
Shortly after finishing the book, I gave Jason an ultimatum. We could go to counseling and get help or call it quits.
We went to one counseling appointment and that was it. In that meeting, the therapist asked us both how we experienced love from the other person. I said I didn’t, and he admitted that he hadn’t been looking to give or receive love for years. Case closed.
Thanks a lot, Glennon.
No, seriously.
I don’t think it’s wrong for couples to stay together to work through marital problems if it’s both people working toward healing. That’s the best-case scenario.
Divorce is messy and draining and six years later, I’m still feeling big emotions about my marriage falling apart. It’s not a decision to rush into.
A self-care thought I often reflect on is EVERYTHING IS INTERCONNECTED. Our words and actions ripple out into the world. The Melton’s divorce story really did impact my heart to the point that I took action toward ending my marriage.
Isn’t that crazy?!
We are ALL interconnected.
I have made some great friendships through this 12-year I Am a Powerful Woman journey. I’ve been encouraged by the women who have interacted with my posts over the years and from time to time, I get messages that I’ve encouraged them.
Yesterday I put together a Facebook Group for single moms and former single moms who want to encourage those of us navigating single-mom waters. It’s called Single Moms Empowerment Community and I’d love to have you be part of it if you fall into one of those two categories. Follow this link and let’s interconnect.
More Joy. More Peace. More Power.
Category: Find Your Power (Page 1 of 4)
I’m moving…again.
I’m tired of moving. This makes my 25th move in 43 years, that is if you count moving out of my mother’s womb as the first one.
This is the 16th move I’ve made with a kid/kids in 25 years and move #5 in 7 years!
The worst part of this particular move is this house is perfect for my family, but it’s a rental. As such, I don’t plan to be there for more than a year or two because the rent is stupid high.
When I signed the lease, I asked the owner if he’d consider selling after a year. It’s part of his retirement plan so he doesn’t seem willing to part with it, but it won’t hurt to ask again next year.
“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.”
Nora Roberts
I haven’t been great at meeting my expenses with much lower rent, so this will be a fun little experiment. If I do my job properly, my financial crisis should quickly resolve itself.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
I don’t know what your thoughts are on taking an active role in creating your life or manifesting your desires, but I declared that I wanted to make $100,000 in 2021.
I was working in an office making $20,000 when I decided it was time dust off my health license and put it to use. I planned to quit the office job by February or March of this year and sell supplemental insurance full time.
My boss expedited the opportunity to make my desired income by switching from the company he’d worked with for 17 years to Family First Life, a few days before Christmas. It put me in a complete tailspin.
After a couple of weeks of going back and forth about which company I wanted to make this $100,000 goal a reality with, I decided to pursue the opportunity with Family First Life. (After you’re done reading here, you can click on the link to get a quick overview of Family First Life, if you’re looking for a career, part time or full time. Leave a comment here or message me on Facebook after you’ve watched the video if you want more information.)
I obtained my life license and made my first sale on February 25th!
If I don’t meet my $100,000 goal it will 100% be because I didn’t follow the system. If I put forth enough effort, I can meet and exceed my goal before the end of the year. If I keep doing like I’ve been doing from February 25th up until now, I’ll make a little more than I did last year, but I’ll be 70K shy of my goal.
I’ve kept my feet on the brake and accelerator, which isn’t helping me at all. I’ve decided this is deep rooted in money mindset issues. I’m so used to struggling financially and emotionally, so I’m doing lots of self sabotaging.
I’m finding very valid reasons (aka excuses) to not work diligently–doctor’s appointments…orthodontist appointments for 3 kids…this move…so on and so forth.
This morning I was trying to fall back asleep and my stomach was in knots. I was thinking about how the last 15 years have been some form of drama or turmoil. I’ve lived in chaos for f-i-f-t-e-e-n years. Sheesh kapeesh! That’s 14 too many.
11 of those were trying to sort through marital drama. To stay together or not to stay together? That was the question. (I don’t wish that on my worst enemy…well, maybe…but then I’d wish life lessons learned and lots of happiness on that B-word. I’m sorry, but she’s a real “not nice woman.” She treated my children horribly. It’s okay though because I’d only be wishing her 11 years of turmoil, not a lifetime. If I’m being honest, she’s suffered enough in her 40 something years, which is why she goes around causing others to suffer. If there’s a way for her to heal from her own trauma, the better off she’ll be and the rest of the people she comes in contact with, so the right thing to do is to wish her well from far far away.)
I digress.
The last four years have been an attempt to stabilize after the separation, learning all the hard lessons one learns after a long term relationship ends, attempting to move forward in a healthy manner and making plenty of mistakes (just like I did during the first separation.)
Random Sidenote
If you haven’t been through a separation or divorce, you really think you know how you’d conduct yourself, but you have no idea how you’d actually respond. Thank God you haven’t had to go through it and be gentle with your friends and family members navigating that trainwreck of a new beginning. It’s Hell on Earth. They need your love and support more than anyone realizes.
And we’re…
back to this morning. There I was, trying to rest, beating myself up for being in transition for the last 15 years. (That number still blows my mind.) The point of all of this is, much like declaring a monetary goal for 2021, it’s time to get rid of the story that I’m struggling and decide that I’m creating a phenomenal future.
The phrase NOW I LIVE came to mind. NOW I LIVE.
I suffered. I did that. NOW I LIVE.
I did my best to make it through challenging circumstances for 15 years. NOW I LIVE.
NOW I LIVE. NOW YOU LIVE. NOW WE LIVE.
I was talking with my former boss/soon to be former landlord a couple of weeks ago, about my money mindset hang ups. I stated my concern and he replied, “It’s not like that anymore.” It just rolled off his tongue as if he’d said, “The sun is shining.”
It’s not like that anymore. NOW I LIVE.
Let’s live now. This is our time!
As always, thank you for reading. I’d love to hear any thoughts you have from, “Me too!” to “Could you please write a blog post about ____________.” Drop your thoughts below.
Published on Facebook March 6, 2020
I woke up this morning and smiled…FRIDAY. My girls come home from their dad’s on Friday. I rolled over and drifted back to sleep.
The next time I woke up, I wasn’t smiling. I felt tired and not as excited to be awake. Once I sat up, I thought about how I never want to start another day without my Daily Self Care Routine. I knew relief was on the way, so I got my coffee, and got right to it.
The last couple of mornings of quiet time have been especially rewarding. Yesterday, after reading a chapter from Fearless, by Steve Chandler, I was inspired to BE SOMEONE WHO COULD.
Often, when I sit down to write, I feel blocked. Completely blocked. So…I decided to BE LOUISA MAY ALCOTT, MAYA ANGELOU, MARIE FORLEO, GLENNON DOYLE, or ELIZABETH GILBERT.
If my story is that I can’t do something…anything from home organization to parachuting from a plane, I can set that story aside and be someone who can.
By the way, I can say with 100% certainty that I’ll NEVER want to jump out of a plane. Ever.
Update–March 21, 2021
Today I was Seth Godin (who cranks out motivational content daily) and Tom Hopkins (a well known real estate agent turned motivational speaker, known for selling 365 houses in one year!) I’m still 100% certain I’ll NEVER want to jump out of a plane.
What story are you telling yourself that keeps you stuck? Who would you be WHO CAN? Let me know.
A great starting place on the journey to dropping your story is www.whateverypersoncando.org The online course is very affordable. If you’d like to discuss going through the program one on one with me instead of the online course, message me through Facebook Messenger.
I was standing in a dark room–a victim of my own thinking. I didn’t know the room even had a light in it. Steve Chandler was the first person to reach in the dark room and flip the switch. He said, “You can turn this light on and off any time you want. The switch is right here. You don’t have to stay in the dark. You’re not stuck. You’re not broken.”
Then it was up to me to believe that I truly was in control of the switch. I worked pretty diligently at keeping the light on for awhile.
Several years ago, I decided to turn the light off. I was back in the dark. I was scared. I just sat there. Not moving.
No matter how hard I tried to shut out the truth, I wasn’t able to forget that I knew right where the switch was and who controls it.
In November, totally fed up with the darkness, I made the decision to flip the switch–to start creating my days again, instead of reacting to what I refused to see.
A few weeks ago, I was in a used book store. Awe…books. Can you have too many?
I had 3 or 4 picked out and was debating which one to put back. That’s how I shop for everything with the exception of groceries. My family doesn’t like shopping with me and I really don’t blame them. I don’t even like shopping with me.
So there I was, agonizing over which Anne Lamott book to part with, when I saw Loving What Is, by Byron Katie.
I’d heard her name on and off over the years but was completely unaware of her simple but profound life changing work, known as The Work.
If you, like me are ready to take back control of your thinking or to take control for the first time, I recommend starting with The Work. It will blow your mind and bring you peace.
Everything you need is FREE at Byron Katie’s website thework.com
Here’s to a life lived in the light.
Much love,
Sarah B.
P.S. If you’re not a member of the Pdub Hub, go here to become one and here to connect on Facebook. See you there.
“Loneliness is Such a Sad Affair”
I wake up and usually a negative thought or two come in uninvited. I get a cup of coffee, sit down with a pen and paper, focus on thoughts that put the negative ones in perspective, and carry on like a champ.
Tonight though, I’m feeling a wee bit discouraged. The remedy? More cowbell.
http://“Survey says…”
More Cowbell probably won’t help here, but it could be a fun distraction. Self Care is what actually came to mind because it can be lathered, rinsed, and repeated as often as needed, but it’s practically bedtime and I’m stubborn. To think of tonight as a gift…when it’s almost over and I feel gloomy–insert eye roll.
I’ve tried to pin down the thoughts causing the gloom. I’ve narrowed the culprits down to fear and loneliness. Ah, loneliness, my old friend. Welcome back, ya filthy animal.
*Since I refuse to look at tonight as a gift (which it is, it’s just almost over)
*or to think about how we’re all connected (which we certainly are)
*or to think about how the only thing I have any control over tonight, is HOW I CHOOSE to be (again–day’s almost over–what’s the point of making a choice to be anything and then going to bed?)
*and I prefer to wallow, instead of being good to myself, what is that I DO want?
Well, I don’t want to wallow.
Crap! I accidentally wrote my way out of my loneliness funk.
What Else Can Be Done About Loneliness?
Before I unknowingly fixed my thinking (it’s that easy!) I tried to figure out what it was that I was looking for outside of myself.
Who am I lonely for or am I just lonely?
Who did I want to magically appear to fix things, to comfort me? What would I want them to say that would ease the internal struggle? Could they say anything that would help or even if they say the right words, would I let them in?
Would praying have helped? I’m sure it would.
“Are you there God? It’s me Fiona. It’s me Fiooonaaaaa…“
This song gets sung around here quite often and popped into my head with the thought of praying.
I probably could’ve used a hug, but I couldn’t think of any one thing that someone else could have said. I’ve had plenty of comforting words said in the past and often they went in one ear and out the other. I found myself a day or two later in need of more comforting words. After years of looking for that comfort from outside sources, I know this is work I must do on my own. It’s no one’s job but mine.
I forget that these “unpleasant” thoughts show up to guide us. They’re here so we can explore them and see what needs to be dealt with. We can feel them, process them, and then carry on.
I’ve been lonely before and it used to be more intense than it was tonight–yay progress! Self Care has been my biggest help in dealing with that longing for a companion, because I’m only dealing with one day at a time, not the past, not the future.
In the present, after I’ve done self care, I’m too busy living my life, taking care of my responsibilities, and working on happy projects to spend much time wallowing over the fact that there’s not a line of Prince Charmings or Young George Clooneys outside my door waiting to take me to the ball or the medical supply closet, if you get my drift.
Even though I was initially bummed that when I sit down to watch an episode of Gilmore Girls later, I won’t be cuddling up next to Charming or Young Clooney or heck–Mature Clooney for that matter, I allowed the loneliness to come. I felt it. I processed it and now I’m back to being okay with where I’m at in my life (Clooney FREE) at 11:00 PM. I’m ready to relax, enjoy 40 minutes in Stars Hollow, and head to bed feeling complete on my own (the way we all need to feel, whether we’re in a relationship or not.)
The other “bad” thought pestering me was fear of the future–uhm…hello, Sarah. It’s the FUTURE. I can’t do any work in the future tonight. What I can do is take a deep breath, recognize that I’m okay in this moment. There’s no crisis at 11:00 PM for me. There’s PLENTY to get stirred up about if I CHOOSE to, but I don’t choose that.
I have the opportunity to get completely present, finish this blog post, relax, and get a good night’s sleep.
Thanks for being part of this Powerful Woman community. If you have any questions about Self Care, my routine, or how it’s assisted me in experiencing a happier now, leave a comment or message me through Facebook. I’ll be happy to share what’s worked for me.
Make yourself a great weekend.
Much love,
Sarah B
I wish I was a prolific writer. I’m amazed by the amount of content that people are able to crank out constantly and what appears to be effortlessly. I love to write but the words don’t seem to want to come out on paper. Writing is almost a painful process for me.
Perhaps I’m not completely alone in this. Ernest Hemingway said,
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
It’s possible the words haven’t been flowing because I’ve been busy binge watching Supernatural and New Girl. Both of them have been a delightful escape from reality.
It’s possible I haven’t created because I’ve been preoccupied hiding from my life at friends’ houses when my girls are at their dad’s. We share equal time with them, so they’re gone half the week. I haven’t handled the transition well.
I had a conversation with one such hospitable friend last night. We talked seriously about my latest come apart. I’ve been completely overwhelmed by my circumstances and feelings lately. During our talk, I brought up my codependent nature and how it isn’t serving me in moving forward the way I desire.
I kind of feel like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride, who ate whatever type of eggs her fiance at the time was eating.
I’ve always thought of these parts of myself as being laid back, go with the flow, why rock the boat when you can be agreeable, positive qualities. I still kind of do, but also have learned that it’s okay to voice my opinion occasionally…that is, if absolutely forced to do so.
These are people pleasing, fear of rejection, unflattering qualities that are easy to spot in others but I often fail to see them in myself because it’s how I’ve operated my whole life. I guess I have to work on it. Dang it.
Time to pull out The Boundaries Book and possibly try Al Anon meetings. I hear they’re beneficial for people who struggle with codependency. I’ll start with the book. Speaking of books and writing.
Perhaps I haven’t been writing because I’ve doubted my ability to produce anything of value to others and convinced myself that I shouldn’t even attempt it, instead of just writing for the sheer pleasure–well, except for the painful parts.
Back to codependency and not knowing what kinds of eggs I like. I actually do know what kinds of eggs I like–over medium, hard boiled, deviled, and scrambled with cheese…oh and I like scrambled eggs with salsa and a piece of buttered toast on the side.
Besides liking all the eggs, even though the birthing process of writing can be painful, I love to write. If I’d spent the last two years doing more of what I love, instead of binge watching tv and avoiding my responsibilities (which just ended up producing a great deal of drama, which when I think about it will give me a ton of material to write about down the road) I could have potentially written a book by now.
All of this to say, my life hasn’t exactly been working for me and I want to work on myself and make the unpleasant circumstances better. I haven’t been focused for many reasons, but as Jim Rohn says,
“If you want to do something, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.”
It’s time to stop making excuses and just do it already. Just work on personal development. Just write every day, even if it’s for 15 minutes. Just deal with my life and make the changes I want, instead of running. (It all just came full circle and I didn’t even mean for it to.)
I’m embracing my life and…
I’m turning in my running shoes, just like in Runaway Bride!!!
I just looked outside to see if Richard Gere is out there. He actually is, but he’s aged QUITE A BIT since that movie came out in 1999, so I shut the door and locked it.
What about you? What is it that you’ve wanted to do for forever and keep putting off? I’d love to hear about it here on the blog or here on Facebook.
No more excuses. We get one life. Let’s decide right here and now to not excuse it away.
Here’s the sitch. I’ve let my chaotic home, the story of what was, and the story I’ve made up about what my life is now, dominate my brain. I wander through many days feeling good and sorry for myself.
The reality is that some of those, what once felt hopeless, circumstances are now improving. Instead of being grateful, I’ve continued to mourn about what hasn’t improved…what I can’t control.
So today, I have a choice. I can use Self Care thoughts to get myself present, and to get pumped up about my future…or I can carry on as I’ve done for the last however long, and continue to suffer and struggle.
“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” -Jim Rohn
The choice seems obvious.
If I leave all of this moving forward with my life business up to how I feel when I wake up, I’ll continue to stay stuck. It’s up to me to get disciplined about daily Self Care so I can break out of this rut and live out days grounded in peace, even when life is spiraling out of control around me. I’ve experienced this tranquility before and I know it’s possible again.
“We think we are experiencing reality but what we are really experiencing is our thinking.” -Michael Neill
Below is a quick refresher on the 4 main SELF CARE THOUGHTS I mainly use with an invite to check out WHAT EVERY PERSON CAN DO. Be sure to let me know if you decide to go through the course and I’ll add you to the private group for extra support.
Here’s to MORE JOY, MORE PEACE, and MORE POWER for all of us!
Much love,
Sarah B
I want to be drunk ALL THE TIME.
First off…my mom raised me better than this.
(The picture is from The Greatest Victory and the first video I made…Lol)
My life is probably too much of an open book, but I’ve said in the recent past I’m going to be true to who I am, and if that means some people need to walk away, I’ll learn to deal.
Last night after work, my friend Amador and I went out for drinks. I’ve never understood the appeal of alcohol or why anyone would ever want to get drunk and deal with a hangover the next day.
Jason started drinking beer daily before we separated. He didn’t get drunk. It was just annoying to me because of the expense. I judged him pretty hard and even counted bottles. The EXPENSE!
When I quit being a nag, I’d taste the different beer he brought home and tease him that it all tasted like saltine crackers. He’d sit down with a pack of saltine crackers and drink a beer. Kind of redundant in my opinion.
Since the separation I’ve dabbled in different fruity drinks and had a buzz 3 or 4 times. I’ve wondered at what point a person is considered drunk. I even Googled it one night with my bottle of coconut rum.
Well I found out last night. I had 2 Bahama Mama’s on an empty stomach. As I sat there laughing and thoroughly enjoying myself I said, “I used to feel like this all the time.”
I did! I used to feel THAT in love with life on a regular basis even in the middle of crappy circumstances – very little money, a marriage falling apart, the stress of raising a house full of kids, and trying to find myself.
I don’t really want to be drunk all the time. My tiny hangover this morning helped me recognize that, but I do want to get back into the head space where I experience that drunk on life feeling.
Life has been such a turd this last decade that I truly believe it will never be as I would have it, but that’s neither here nor there. Even in the middle of the occasional disappointments and chaos, I get to choose to feel defeated or to look around at my blessings and make a plan for the day that will leave me feeling giddy about life.
If I did it once, I can do it again.
I called Bill yesterday. He asked me how I was. I teared up and said, “Not great. I should’ve called a couple of months ago.”
I poured out my little broken heart. He offered reassurance as to my humanness and told me to, “Get the (air) hug,” and I told him I’d call him when I got off work.
Forgetting my intent to call, I got drunk instead.
I’m glad I did. To momentarily feel such elation was the perfect reminder that I didn’t used to need alcohol to accomplish that feeling.
I called Bill this morning to wrap up yesterday’s conversation. I told him about my drunken revelation and said I realize my lack of discipline where daily self care is concerned is the missing link between the way I’ve experienced life recently compared to 5 years ago..
He ended the call by saying, “We’re friends for life,” and reminded me that he’s here for me any time.
I so wish YOU had the opportunity to know Bill too. If you did, he’d make the same statements of love and support to you, but you know me instead so I’ll have to share what he’s taught me as I relearn it.
For me to move forward and not be a complete victim of my thinking as I’ve been the last couple of years, there’s 2 main ingredients.
The 1st thought to let in is that I’m loved unconditionally by at least one person. (I’m blessed enough to have more than one person love me this way.) By letting in that unconditional love means just that and it isn’t going anywhere, no matter what crazy choices I make or don’t make, I’ve been able to experience that my value in the world is indeed undisputed, as is yours and everyone else’s. I forget from time to time. This unconditional love is also a pretty great example of God’s love for us. (Check out the book Real Love.)
The 2nd step is to reflect on a few Self Care thoughts to get myself grounded as my day starts.
- Everything is a miracle. (Life is a gift.)
- Everything is interconnected. (Every word we speak and action we take makes a difference- good or bad.)
- The ONLY thing I have ANY control over is how I CHOOSE to be in the world today. (As much as I’d like to orchestrate the events of my life, it just doesn’t work that way. But I get to choose how to react to what life throws my way.)
And then a 4th thought that’s been useful for me is to be gentle with myself, to treat myself with same love and compassion I show everybody else. I really need to remember this one especially as of late. I’ve been ridiculously hard on myself and I wouldn’t dare be this way with anybody else.
So life is not as I’d have it here and now, but there is still MUCH to be thankful for and I can only do what I can to make each day a little brighter for myself and others.
Thanks for the reminder Bahama Mama!
I’m looking forward to going through life tipsy on LOVE and all things good.
You can experience the goodness of Bill’s work through his online course What Every Person Can Do. It’s the next best thing to knowing him personally 🙂
If you have questions about the online course or if you’d be interested in going through the one on one course with me, you can message me.
There have been times in this 6 year journey of learning to love myself and stepping into my power, where I’ve had to be my biggest cheerleader. Those closest to me- my mom, husband, and even close friends didn’t understand what I was up to. Why was I spending so much time blogging and Facebooking? Why would I want to pay a coach to “be my friend” when there were friends who loved me and would tell me like it was?
That was the problem though. They were going to tell me like it was, according to their limited vision for my life. They were going to tell me the practical, safe, normal way to do life. They couldn’t see what I could see for myself.
NO THANK YOU!
Don’t Rain on My Parade!
There will always be naysayers, but it’s shocking when it’s from those you ABSOLUTELY KNEW would be there to cheer you on. In my case, the people that didn’t get it originally do now, but that’s not always the case.
All of this to say, you have to believe in yourself. You have to hold tight to your visions, even when you don’t know when or how you’re going to carry them out. Don’t give up on YOU!
There have more recently been times when I’ve lost my vision, my focus, my passion – like this entire past year and a half. Thankfully there are people, like my friend Caroline, who have helped me see those dreams that have become blurry and speak POWERFUL words into my life. Caroline is a brilliant writer and as encouraging as it is to read her words, having an actual conversation with her is the REAL TREAT. She fires off one uplifting thought after another and I’m blown away by how her mind works. After a recent conversation about accepting all parts of oneself, even the parts that don’t seem to fit (for example – my inner rebel) she posted this for me. I wanted to share it with you because I want YOU to accept all the parts of you too.
This POWERFUL WOMAN journey isn’t about one of us having all the answers. We ALL have lessons to learn from each other. I hope Caroline’s words encourage you the way they encouraged me.
YOU have to define yourself for yourself.
You know who you are–you have known all along–because you know how you feel inside; you know what makes your bones ache, your blood churn, and your spirit come alive.
Logic is useful in many ways, but it is useless in defining the immeasurable, such as passion, soul, intuition.
Logic can help you make sound decisions, but trusting the intuitive parts of yourself keeps you from oppressing and suppressing the very essence of who YOU were created to be apart from everyone else.
Get off the path logic paved on its own.
Define a whole new path in uncharted territory which demands your intuition to pick up a shovel and help clear the brush.
Trust what you find on that path.
Believe in it.
Dig your truth up from the dirt and brush away all of the dust from its edges.
This is where you find yourself; this is where you free yourself.
Be ready.
When you come to fully realize YOU, you’ll never be able to unsee it.
You’ll cry. You’ll scream. You’ll think, ‘My God, there YOU were all along! Look at how beautiful you are.’
Lightness comes. With the stones of preconceived notions cast aside which served no purpose but to weigh down your pockets.
Calm comes. With self-acceptance. With self-love. With self-gratitude.
Space comes. With acceptance of others. With love for others. With gratitude for others.
Life falls into place. With the universe attracting to you all of those things which speak to your essence, your soul, your truth.
You can follow Caroline on Facebook and read her blog at Rose Colored Lenses.
Sidenote -my ego loves #forSarah. Feel FREE to send encouragement my way and use #forSarah…Lol
A few thoughts to consider and I’d love to discuss if you’d like to leave a comment.
- Are you being cheered on?
- Is it time to find a tribe?
- Do you need to put some distance between you and the naysayers?
Don’t settle for mediocre treatment from anybody…ever!
You deserve respect and love – the same as everybody else.
Thanks so very much for being part of this community!
Much love,
Sarah B
Showing Up
“You’re doing so well,” my friend Angel said to me the other day. From the outside, I may appear to be handling the separation, full time employment (for the first time in my life), the accident, and pending divorce well, but I’ve actually been struggling the entire time. And so I told her how not well I’ve actually been.
Before Jason moved out, I experienced crippling financial stress, loneliness, and hopelessness in just about every area of my life. I was quite overwhelmed. Even though I pushed for growth or separation (which I feel was an act of self love) my self esteem has taken a blow that’s set me back 10 years, back to before I learned anything about taking care of and loving myself. I’m at square one, only this time I can’t unlearn what I’ve learned.
I will eventually recall how to let thoughts go that don’t serve me and replace them with ones that do. I’ll remember that my value is just as great as yours. I will remember that I have choices available, even when I don’t feel like I do, and that choosing to do nothing is still a choice. I’ll remember that I can create my day. I don’t have to exist, reacting to what life tries to serve me on its mediocre platter. I have more control than what I’ve been able to see the last couple of years.
While I can’t control what happens around me, I can control how I react. I can set about putting events into motion and creating a life that I’m excited to live, instead of moping through the rest of my days, defeated and looking for acceptance and love from others, instead of filling my world with Real Love (check out this book if you haven’t yet.)
I used to power through hard times with such hope, knowing I was okay no matter what, thanks to what I learned from Bill Cumming and What Every Person Can Do.
I feel like I’m writing the same post over and over again. It starts out, “I’m struggling, but this is what I’m doing about it.” I keep saying I’m going to lean on the basics of Self Care and being present. I keep telling myself I’m going to give YOU more of my time, but my focus has been way off.
I have bursts of inspiration and for those brief moments, I feel like I’m capable of implementing the dreams I dreamed 6 years ago, when I first learned that I had more control over my thinking and my life. I had lived as a victim, waiting for someone else to give me step by step instructions on what to do next to have a happier existence. I learned I could be an owner (Thank you, Steve Chandler.) I worked on my thinking. I quit looking to anyone else for my happiness, but I’ve slipped back into a victim mindset. I’ve been crushed by my circumstances. I’ve definitely been looking to others to make me feel worthy and fill the void that separation left behind as a parting gift.
There’s No Perfect Tuesday
My friend Bevin told me years ago that there’s never going to be a perfect Tuesday when I wake up and all the problems are fixed…when I’m fixed. Why do I keep thinking I have to have all of my problems fixed to share with you any more? She also said that we can HAVE IT ALL, just not all at the same time.
This journey was never about me having all the answers or any answers really. It was about having an outlet to share what I was learning, as I was learning it, with a tribe of women…my tribe…our tribe… because the people we love and share our lives with, don’t always get us. They don’t always share our vision and even though they love us, they have the potential to crush our dreams instead of giving us the encouragement to GO FOR IT. But you and I get it. We get each other.
My commitment to you today is to show up in some form EVERY DAY, whether it’s a post like this, a goofy 2 or 3 minute video, Facebook live once a week (which still terrifies me) or a quote and a quick hello.
I’m showing up. Thank you for doing the same.
All my love (my REAL LOVE),
Sarah
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