I wish I was a prolific writer.  I’m amazed by the amount of content that people are able to crank out constantly and what appears to be effortlessly.  I love to write but the words don’t seem to want to come out on paper. Writing is almost a painful process for me.

Perhaps I’m not completely alone in this.  Ernest Hemingway said,

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”


It’s possible the words haven’t been flowing because I’ve been busy binge watching Supernatural and New Girl.  Both of them have been a delightful escape from reality.

It’s possible I haven’t created because I’ve been preoccupied hiding from my life at friends’ houses when my girls are at their dad’s.  We share equal time with them, so they’re gone half the week. I haven’t handled the transition well.

I had a conversation with one such hospitable friend last night.  We talked seriously about my latest come apart. I’ve been completely overwhelmed by my circumstances and feelings lately.  During our talk, I brought up my codependent nature and how it isn’t serving me in moving forward the way I desire.

I kind of feel like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride, who ate whatever type of eggs her fiance at the time was eating.


I’ve always thought of these parts of myself as being laid back, go with the flow, why rock the boat when you can be agreeable, positive qualities.  I still kind of do, but also have learned that it’s okay to voice my opinion occasionally…that is, if absolutely forced to do so.

These are people pleasing, fear of rejection, unflattering qualities that are easy to spot in others but I often fail to see them in myself because it’s how I’ve operated my whole life.  I guess I have to work on it. Dang it.

Time to pull out The Boundaries Book and possibly try Al Anon meetings.  I hear they’re beneficial for people who struggle with codependency. I’ll start with the book. Speaking of books and writing.

Perhaps I haven’t been writing because I’ve doubted my ability to produce anything of value to others and convinced myself that I shouldn’t even attempt it, instead of just writing for the sheer pleasure–well, except for the painful parts.

Back to codependency and not knowing what kinds of eggs I like. I actually do know what kinds of eggs I like–over medium, hard boiled, deviled, and scrambled with cheese…oh and I like scrambled eggs with salsa and a piece of buttered toast on the side.  

Image: From Runaway Bride–Maggie tries ALL the eggs.

Besides liking all the eggs, even though the birthing process of writing can be painful, I love to write.  If I’d spent the last two years doing more of what I love, instead of binge watching tv and avoiding my responsibilities (which just ended up producing a great deal of drama, which when I think about it will give me a ton of material to write about down the road) I could have potentially written a book by now.

All of this to say, my life hasn’t exactly been working for me and I want to work on myself and make the unpleasant circumstances better.  I haven’t been focused for many reasons, but as Jim Rohn says,

“If you want to do something, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.”

It’s time to stop making excuses and just do it already.  Just work on personal development. Just write every day, even if it’s for 15 minutes.  Just deal with my life and make the changes I want, instead of running. (It all just came full circle and I didn’t even mean for it to.)

I’m embracing my life and…

I’m turning in my running shoes, just like in Runaway Bride!!!

I just looked outside to see if Richard Gere is out there.  He actually is, but he’s aged QUITE A BIT since that movie came out in 1999, so I shut the door and locked it.

What about you?  What is it that you’ve wanted to do for forever and keep putting off? I’d love to hear about it here on the blog or here on Facebook.

No more excuses. We get one life. Let’s decide right here and now to not excuse it away.