More Joy. More Peace. More Power.

Tag: goals

Happy New Year

What matters most is what gets done, or to put it another way,

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way.

If not, you’ll find an excuse.”

Jim Rohn

What do you want to do this year? I didn’t give New Year’s resolutions much thought before today, but at some point, within the last couple of weeks, I decided I needed an attitude adjustment. I’ve been living life as a victim again and that’s not okay with me.

The following statement is my #1 New Year’s resolution for 2024.

This year, I want to have an improved outlook on life, regardless of any hardship I may be going through (which hopefully there won’t be any/many of those.)

Here are some additional goals I’d like to pursue in 2024.

  • I want to take more action.
  • I want to be more supportive of other single moms. I want to figure out what that looks like and do it.
  • I want to write/create more.
  • I want to have more fun/more joy 🙂
  • I want to be more disciplined–wake up early for self-care and make time to exercise.
  • I want to “want to” exercise.

What do you want to do this year? Let me know.

Something New

“Now I’m going to write something new.”

As I typed the words into the Facebook messenger box, where I’ve done the majority of my writing the last couple of years, I felt a rush of energy.

Now, I’m going to write something new.

A few years ago, I declared I would be like Hemingway.

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” -Ernest Hemingway

For whatever reason, I’ve still been extremely guarded with what I share.  So guarded that I haven’t been sharing at all. Some of that is to protect my mom.  I love that woman a lot and if I share where I’m at in my thinking and the mistakes I’ve made along the way, she’ll surely worry herself sick.

She and I had a conversation about it one night. I stood by her bed and told her how much I admired other writers who write from their hearts. Mom’s thought was that being guarded is responsible. I’m not fully convinced.  

I realize I don’t need to run amuck and write my personal tabloid, but I do need to be true to who I am.  If that means an overshare here or there to drive home a point or connect with other humans, so be it.

Part of my holding back is because my story is entwined with other peoples’ stories and I want to respect their privacy.

Part of this guardedness is self preservation.  I don’t want haters and trolls puking their wrath on me.

I’m going to have to get over most of this if I’m ever going to be transparent.

I love transparency.  It’s so PURE. It’s so necessary. I appreciate people who live this way. I’m going to work on not being so afraid and when the time is right, I’ll share my mess.

“If you’re going to share widely, make sure you share from your scars, not from your open wounds.” -Glennon Doyle

I almost had myself convinced I’d forgotten how to write.

Now, I’m going to write something new.  

That statement feels like a fresh start.  I’m not just sitting down to write a new post tonight.  I can decide right now to create something new with my life.  

I wrote a post when my ex and I were separating about how my life was going to be different this time as compared to our separation in 2012.  You can read This Time It’s Going To Be Different here.

If I’m being honest, life hasn’t gone according to plan.  I had some great goals back then, but I didn’t keep them in view and ended up losing sight of my vision.

Maybe…maybe I don’t want to write something new tonight.  Maybe I want to focus on what’s already been written…because all of that was and still is my heart’s desire.  And I really believe I can make it happen.

Now I’m going to write something new…  

This Time It’s Going To Be Different

This time it’s going to be different.

Early on in this separation (that hasn’t officially happened, but we made the decision 5 months ago) I decided circumstances were going to be drastically different than the last go around.

Already pretty isolated in 2012 (because we’d stopped going to church a few years before and we were no longer homeschooling) I shut out my closest support system for an unhealthy relationship, that took 6 months to break away from.

My Tribe

As soon as Jason and I decided this 19 year marriage was beyond repair, I reached out to multiple friends and said, “Will you be part of my tribe so when the loneliness come (because it does come and it comes with a vengeance) I don’t make bad choices?”  There were multiple yeses and actually not a single no. I’m so thankful for my tribe.

I’m keeping in touch and being transparent about what I’m up to in life.  Lots of checks and balances.

More Doing Things

I’m spending actual time with friends.  No more isolation for this girl!  I spent the last decade doing life alone and that’s no way to live. Within the last couple of months I’ve gone out to eat, to the movies, hiking, and to friends’ houses for actual old school visits and coffee. Long visits were weekly events 12 years ago.  How I’ve missed those!

Professional Help

I’m going to counseling regularly.  I KNOW I need this additional level of support.  I tend to put far too much on my plate, so it’s nice having input so that I take on new ventures and major life choices at an appropriate pace.

“Put yourself in the way of beauty.”-Cheryl Strayed

I’m buying plants a little bit at a time, a candle here, a cheap set of curtains there.  I don’t have extra money to spend on these little luxuries but they brighten my physical space and bring me a great deal of pleasure.   The amount of debt I have compared to the amount of income I bring in is a crippling figure, so in the words of Scarlet O’Hara, “I’ll think about it tomorrow.”

Speaking of tomorrow-

When life gets overwhelming, I’m taking a page from Glennon Doyle Melton’s book Love Warrior.

Do The Next Right Thing

Glennon wrote about making the decision to carry a baby after a lifetime of eating disorders and addiction.  “What is the next right thing to do?” she asked herself, with that pregnancy test in hand. That’s how she made it during her transition, always looking for the next right thing to do.

Knowing What I Don’t Want

I’ve been given some bad advice on what I should GO OUT and do.  While that might feel good in the moment, it’s not me.  I have zero desire to randomly date and have casual anything…  That seems like a fruitless distraction and way too much drama.  And besides, last time I rushed into the first set of arms willing to embrace me and ended up with a lot of regret, not to mention guilt from hurting someone looking for love in all the wrong places, and a hip tattoo! (sad but true.)

I have BIG goals for my life and chasing temporary comfort would throw me completely off course.

Back to the NEXT RIGHT THING

My goal is to continue to put myself in the way of beauty, create a life that is filled with LOVE (not the romantic kind…not yet anyway) but to focus on my other relationships, my children, my extended family, and friendships.

I am going to live a life that is so busy and full, that even though I will naturally tend to want someone to share the journey with, I won’t be wasting away waiting for it.

Be Present

I am going to live in the present as much as possible.  I am going to live each day to the fullest and squeeze every drop of goodness out of it.  Even on the hard days, I am going to “hunt for the good things.”

It’s true that there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for.

Gratitude

The day my dad passed away, was not a day full of painful memories, but had sweet memories folded into it.  My dear friends drove by the nursing home and slipped money into my hand for lunch, so we’d have one less task to take care of that day.

I was relieved to see how many nursing home staff genuinely cared about my dad as they expressed their condolences.  In my mind, my poor dad laid in that bed for 2 years neglected and miserable, but the reality was that he was loved.

My mom, brother, his wife and I spent the next few hours dividing my dad’s small box of earthly belongings and just being together.

A month later, Jason and I separated.  I didn’t function very well the first couple of months, but even then, I remember being thankful for my kids and for all of the laughter we shared.  Bouchers are natural comedians, so there’s always always always something to laugh about, especially when others would find it inappropriate to be telling jokes and laughing.

Pursue Goals

I’m going to write and create and dream.

I’m going to take action on those dreams.  I’m going to pick ONE BIG DREAM (decisions aren’t my favorite) and pursue it even if I change my mind 3 months down the road.

Be Honest

I’m going to be really real.  I’m going to be honest.  I’m not going to hide hip tattoos or feelings.

And I’m going to be honest with myself.  That’s tricky because I haven’t allowed myself to feel the scope of feelings available to feel, like sadness and anger.  Those “BAD emotions” have been pushed deep inside to allow only the cheery positive ones to dominate my life up until recently.  Apparently when we don’t deal with our emotions, we can’t properly heal…blah blah blah.

So yeah, I’m going to allow myself to feel some crap and I’m going to acknowledge the thought or feeling for what it is and then move along to the next thought.

“Live the life you have imagined.” -Henry David Thoreau

My future will be filled with family dinners (around the table even), extended family dinners, delightful company, kids’ sleepovers, accomplishing goals -little and big, a vacation or two along the way, but also a lifestyle that gives me the feeling that my life is already a vacation-maybe not a vacation anybody else would want to go on, but my own personal vacation living.

This is my life and it’s a good one.  I’ve had trouble seeing that the last few months, but I see it now.

This post is so full of I’s, me’s, and my’s that I’m a touch uncomfortable, so now it’s your turn to tell me about ways you actively take care of yourself.

Share them in the comment section here or post a comment over on Facebook.

Thank you so very much for reading, for being part of this journey, and for allowing me to be part of yours.

~Sarah

6 Tips for Finding More Time

6 Tips for Finding More Time

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.”
~Jim Rohn

blank paper

I write in my head all day long.

Sometimes I actually jot thoughts down to write about later—when there’s time.

GUESS WHAT? There’s NEVER extra time.

I write down the same ideas day after day. There’s so much I want to write about but it stays stuck in my head or in stacks of paper that never get revisited.

IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!

Here are 6 tips for finding more time. They’ve been helping me rethink my own issues with time. I hope you’ll find them useful as well.

#1 MAKE it a Priority.
This activity that you would love to be doing, whatever it is, needs to be moved up on your priority list, whether it’s a creative outlet, exercising, reading with your kids, or serving others.

If you can’t figure out how in the world to fit it in to your already overbooked schedule, move on to Tip #2.

#2 Track Your Time
Track your time to see where you lose 30 minutes or an hour. I did this a couple of weeks ago and it was eye opening. I already knew I was losing time in front of the computer but to track it and see it go was helpful.

#3 Pencil It In
One of the things I want to do but never get around to, because there is always so much to do, is to spend “fun time” with my kids. This is hard to admit because it seems so basic. Other families appear to have this family time down and we seem stuck as a family. We do the same thing day after day. The day seems completely booked with all of the to do’s. Over the summer, I wrote down HAVE A BONFIRE on my to do list. One bonfire led to subsequent bonfires and I learned if I want to have special time with my kids, I am going to have to plan those events. The same goes for my writing.

#4 Good enough
Good enough is a fairly new concept for me and I LOVE IT! Good enough is a POWERFUL weapon in the fight against PERFECTIONISM. It’s freeing to say, “The kitchen is good enough. The laundry is good enough.” We all know the house work is NEVER done. I don’t want to spend my children’s youth slaving to have a super clean home or checked out in front of the computer and miss out on any more time with them. Good enough will be the key that brings me balance and extra time.

#5 What’s possible for one POWERFUL woman is possible for another.
I know of women juggling the same set of circumstances as me, some of them with even more responsibilities than I have. If they can crank out a couple of blog posts, then it’s completely possible for me too. The only difference is that they’ve decided it’s a priority and I haven’t fully committed to it yet. I’m getting there.

#6 Put something down
I recently saw a quote that RUBBED ME THE WRONG WAY, but the more stressed I felt trying to accomplish EVERYTHING on my plate, the more I came to accept the truth of this quote.

“In order to pick up something new, you must first lay something down.” -unknown

I tried to beat the system because I’m rebellious like that. I went right ahead and picked up a business of all things. I signed up to be a Beachbody Coach. To have a successful business means you have to be a product of the product. right? That’s only going to be an additional 30 minutes to an hour of working out a day. No sweat.

Well actually, there is quite a bit of sweat involved. On top of that, it’s a business. I’m discovering that they don’t work themselves.

After a month of trying to hold all of that, in addition to what I was already holding, I eventually found something to set down.

“You can have it all. Just not all at once.” ~Oprah Winfrey

I guess Gloria was right.

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” ~Gloria Steinem

If you‘ve tracked your time and there is seriously not a spare minute in your day for the thing you’d love to do, what can you put down?

So…what are you waiting for? Get busy doing the thing you’ve been putting off. It’s time.

I Am A Powerful Woman

Sarah Boucher happily encourages women to grow in their power daily at I Am A Powerful Woman. Come join the conversation there. If you are interested in learning more about the 12 week conversation What One Person Can Do or in one on one coaching with Sarah, you can get in touch with her here.

Create A Life You Love To Live!

I started I Am A Powerful Woman because I want to encourage YOU to love yourself, believe in yourself, and challenge yourself to live a life that makes you feel ALIVE! It is AMAZING the amount of energy that becomes available when you are taking care of yourself and doing things you love to do and not just doing what should be done all day every day, week after week, year after year. I used to feel wiped out every day about 3:00. I don’t feel that way anymore. The majority of the time, I go strong up until bed time and I love the difference!

I am still learning along with you and I am having a BLAST!

I’m so excited!!!

All of the details are in order and I can FINALLY tell you the BIG NEWS!!!

Bevin Lynch, an AMAZING coach that I have dreamed of hiring for a year, has a 6 week daily email coaching program called Creating The Life You Love to Live. I want YOU to go through this with ME! I started to go through the program on my own and by DAY 3, by following the exercises, I created a way to hire Bevin to be my coach! This is a POWERFUL program!

I love the POWER of accountability and community! I want to go through Bevin’s program as a group–book club style! Creating The Life You Love To Live starts on July 2nd! When you sign up, you will be invited by me, to a join a private I Am A Powerful Woman/Creating the Life You Love to Live fb group, where we can talk every day about the goals we’ve set, and encourage each other to take action daily. In addition to the fb group, Bevin is going to do 3 live group coaching calls with us!!!

6 weeks of one on one coaching with Bevin would cost $3750 and the group coaching calls are a $500 value. We get all of this life changing content for $99!!! And yes, by listening to her program and doing the exercises, I created a way to hire her! I am still AMAZED!!! What will you create? I can’t wait to hear!

If you use the coupon code “POWERFUL” when you sign up, you will get 50% off of her Well-Being Expo Digital Downloads and The Well-Being Expo Tote Bag. I listened to every class of The Well Being Expo live–while suffering with a stomach virus. I didn’t want to miss it! My mentor, Bill Cumming, was one of the speakers!!!

If you use the code before June 30th, you will be entered in a drawing for a one on one coaching session with Bevin!!!

Go here to see the other bonuses that Bevin has included in her POWERFUL program and sign up today!!!

http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1459642

I can’t wait to meet YOU in the fb group, hear you on the calls with Bevin, and share this journey with you!!!

Let’s get busy CREATING a life we LOVE to live EVERY DAY!!!

 

Share this fun opportunity with your friends too! I am going to invite some of my friends who live close to do this with me and am planning to have a kick off party July 2nd and a celebration party at the end of the 6 weeks!!! There is POWER in sharing an experience with others! I would love to hear about and see pictures from your group! Woo hoo!

Sending LOVE and POWERFUL thoughts to you today!

Sarah Boucher

Unleash Your Power Through Coaching


Unleash Your Power Through Coaching
Coaching makes the game of life fun to play.  I want my life to always be fun.  Having someone cheer me on as I’ve made my next move over the last two years has been one of the greatest feelings I have ever known.  Unleash your POWER through coaching like I did.

Coaching is an AMAZING way to get support in reaching a goal or following your dreams!  Stepping out of your comfort zone into the unknown can be really scary.  Some people want to do it alone and would NEVER consider hiring an individual to support them. 

I am NOT one of those people.

I love team work and the coaching conversations I have had with coaches have offered me more support than my close friends and family members have been able to give me.  Often, those closest to us are the ones snuffing out our attempts to grow.  I am willing to pay for 100% support! 

The fact of the matter is this.  We all have the POWER to reach our goals without hiring a coach.  Michael Neill, a very highly paid coach says, “No one NEEDS a coach.  What coaching does is gives you accelerated results.”  (That is not verbatim.)  The truth is I don’t want to wait for years and years to reach my desired result and proclaim how I did it on my own.  I love exploring possibilities with another person. 

I want 100% support and I want to give 100% support. I want to support you as you unleash your power through coaching.

I’m tired of being shot down and told how what is in my heart can never be. 

“What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.”

What is it you want to achieve?

Coaching works best when you have some skin in the game.  You need to be committed to yourself and to the process.  I have gained my knowledge about coaching from very successful coaches who charge $1000 for an hour of their time and between $30,000 to $50,000  a year to be their apprentice.  I want to offer every day women, like myself, who don’t have an extra $30,000 laying around, coaching at an affordable price! I am looking forward to supporting you as you grow in your POWER!!!

Send an email to iamapowerfulwoman.sb@gmail.com 
Subject line Introductory Coaching Call

In the call we will discuss what areas of your life you want coaching around. We will see if my style fits with your goal and if it does, we will discuss a coaching plan to fit your budget!

What One Person Can Do
In addition to coaching, I also offer the What One Person Can Do conversation. I was trained by Bill Cumming to hold this conversation with others. To find out more about that program, click on the link. If you are interested in What One Person Can Do in addition to coaching or on its own, please put What One Person Can Do in the subject line of your email.

I Am A Powerful Woman

Sending you lots of love and POWER!

Sarah Boucher

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unleash Your Power

Every one of us is as POWERFUL as ROSIE is!

We are as capable and POWERFUL as the woman we admire most!

How exciting is that?!

Everything we admire about women like Oprah, Maya Angelou, Helen Keller, Princess Di, Rosa Parks, J.K. Rowling, Gloria Steinem, Mother Teresa–we have what each of them have or had inside of us!  We were all born with that very same capacity to do great good and creative things in the world and we can access it.  It’s inside of each of us right now.

Take a minute and let that in!!!

Now, grab a pen and paper and write down a list of the women you admire most and what they do or have done that makes them someone to look up to.

Look at your list.

Those women do not have more value in the world than YOU do because of their talent or things they have accomplished in their lives.  You have just as much value to me as any one of the women on that list, regardless of what you may have accomplished or what you have failed at.  It does not matter.  You have VALUE and YOU are loved! (and so am I!)

Now, write your full name at the top of your list!

This I Am a Powerful Woman mindset is a new way of thinking for me.  My life feels like  a THRILLING adventure because of it!  Because of the POWERFUL transformation I went through, I believe it is ABSOLUTELY essential to support you in achieving the same result in your life.  I cannot enjoy this new way of living knowing that you may be feeling as insecure, lonely, and overwhelmed as I was two years ago.  I was mostly miserable and now I am mostly exuberant!

I am not an expert in anything but my own experience.  My life from the traditional definition of success, screams struggle and impending failure.  That’s okay.  I’m on a journey and it’s really just getting started.  I’ve got BIG goals and my story is not complete.  I invite you to follow me as I continue to grow and to grow along with me into your own POWER!  I would LOVE nothing more than to be on this journey together!  Sign up below for my weekly newsletter.  You will get an update from me and I will pass along resources and programs that will inspire and be of use to you in your journey!

UNLEASH YOUR POWER!