It was 2016. I read some clever articles by Glennon Doyle and one in particular stood out. It was something to the effect of, “Sometimes sisters choose to leave and sometimes sisters choose to stay.”
I made the choice to stay in 2013. I wanted all the justification for this drama I continued to put myself through that was available.
In the article, Glennon was promoting her book, Love Warrior. Love Warrior is Glennon’s story of staying.
I ordered my copy but while I waited for my copy to come, Glennon made the announcement that her marriage to her husband Craig ended.
I had a gut feeling that reading her book would lead to me making a similar decision. I was honestly nervous to start reading but knew I needed encouragement from someone who had walked down a similar path.
I was tired of conversations with other women who told me I was a better woman than they were. They boldly proclaimed they would never stay in that scenario. I didn’t feel like a better woman after those conversations. I felt convicted and… like I was making a weak move. Was I setting a bad example for my children by staying?
Two-thirds of the way through the book, I knew my marriage was done.
Glennon shared how after she and Craig split up, he fought to win her back. He did everything in his power to show he cared. It didn’t work at the time, but he did it anyway. He was pursuing her and their family.
I cried at the realization that I was not being pursued. I was, in fact, the one pursuing.
Shortly after finishing the book, I gave Jason an ultimatum. We could go to counseling and get help or call it quits.
We went to one counseling appointment and that was it. In that meeting, the therapist asked us both how we experienced love from the other person. I said I didn’t, and he admitted that he hadn’t been looking to give or receive love for years. Case closed.
Thanks a lot, Glennon.
No, seriously.
I don’t think it’s wrong for couples to stay together to work through marital problems if it’s both people working toward healing. That’s the best-case scenario.
Divorce is messy and draining and six years later, I’m still feeling big emotions about my marriage falling apart. It’s not a decision to rush into.
A self-care thought I often reflect on is EVERYTHING IS INTERCONNECTED. Our words and actions ripple out into the world. The Melton’s divorce story really did impact my heart to the point that I took action toward ending my marriage.
Isn’t that crazy?!
We are ALL interconnected.
I have made some great friendships through this 12-year I Am a Powerful Woman journey. I’ve been encouraged by the women who have interacted with my posts over the years and from time to time, I get messages that I’ve encouraged them.
Yesterday I put together a Facebook Group for single moms and former single moms who want to encourage those of us navigating single-mom waters. It’s called Single Moms Empowerment Community and I’d love to have you be part of it if you fall into one of those two categories. Follow this link and let’s interconnect.
More Joy. More Peace. More Power.
Tag: Glennon Doyle
Published on Facebook March 6, 2020
I woke up this morning and smiled…FRIDAY. My girls come home from their dad’s on Friday. I rolled over and drifted back to sleep.
The next time I woke up, I wasn’t smiling. I felt tired and not as excited to be awake. Once I sat up, I thought about how I never want to start another day without my Daily Self Care Routine. I knew relief was on the way, so I got my coffee, and got right to it.
The last couple of mornings of quiet time have been especially rewarding. Yesterday, after reading a chapter from Fearless, by Steve Chandler, I was inspired to BE SOMEONE WHO COULD.
Often, when I sit down to write, I feel blocked. Completely blocked. So…I decided to BE LOUISA MAY ALCOTT, MAYA ANGELOU, MARIE FORLEO, GLENNON DOYLE, or ELIZABETH GILBERT.
If my story is that I can’t do something…anything from home organization to parachuting from a plane, I can set that story aside and be someone who can.
By the way, I can say with 100% certainty that I’ll NEVER want to jump out of a plane. Ever.
Update–March 21, 2021
Today I was Seth Godin (who cranks out motivational content daily) and Tom Hopkins (a well known real estate agent turned motivational speaker, known for selling 365 houses in one year!) I’m still 100% certain I’ll NEVER want to jump out of a plane.
What story are you telling yourself that keeps you stuck? Who would you be WHO CAN? Let me know.
A great starting place on the journey to dropping your story is www.whateverypersoncando.org The online course is very affordable. If you’d like to discuss going through the program one on one with me instead of the online course, message me through Facebook Messenger.
“Now I’m going to write something new.”
As I typed the words into the Facebook messenger box, where I’ve done the majority of my writing the last couple of years, I felt a rush of energy.
Now, I’m going to write something new.
A few years ago, I declared I would be like Hemingway.
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” -Ernest Hemingway
For whatever reason, I’ve still been extremely guarded with what I share. So guarded that I haven’t been sharing at all. Some of that is to protect my mom. I love that woman a lot and if I share where I’m at in my thinking and the mistakes I’ve made along the way, she’ll surely worry herself sick.
She and I had a conversation about it one night. I stood by her bed and told her how much I admired other writers who write from their hearts. Mom’s thought was that being guarded is responsible. I’m not fully convinced.
I realize I don’t need to run amuck and write my personal tabloid, but I do need to be true to who I am. If that means an overshare here or there to drive home a point or connect with other humans, so be it.
Part of my holding back is because my story is entwined with other peoples’ stories and I want to respect their privacy.
Part of this guardedness is self preservation. I don’t want haters and trolls puking their wrath on me.
I’m going to have to get over most of this if I’m ever going to be transparent.
I love transparency. It’s so PURE. It’s so necessary. I appreciate people who live this way. I’m going to work on not being so afraid and when the time is right, I’ll share my mess.
“If you’re going to share widely, make sure you share from your scars, not from your open wounds.” -Glennon Doyle
I almost had myself convinced I’d forgotten how to write.
Now, I’m going to write something new.
That statement feels like a fresh start. I’m not just sitting down to write a new post tonight. I can decide right now to create something new with my life.
I wrote a post when my ex and I were separating about how my life was going to be different this time as compared to our separation in 2012. You can read This Time It’s Going To Be Different here.
If I’m being honest, life hasn’t gone according to plan. I had some great goals back then, but I didn’t keep them in view and ended up losing sight of my vision.
Maybe…maybe I don’t want to write something new tonight. Maybe I want to focus on what’s already been written…because all of that was and still is my heart’s desire. And I really believe I can make it happen.
Now I’m going to write something new…
LET’S CONNECT!
© 2024 I Am A POWERFUL Woman
Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑